


Unconditionally - Book 2: Trust

by worldinviolet



Series: Unconditionally [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentor/Protégé, Multi, Slow Build, Strong Female Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-11-09 14:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 45,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11106111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worldinviolet/pseuds/worldinviolet
Summary: Eleanor's life changed the day she met Rick Grimes... she gained a new drive.How will she and the rest of the group she belongs in survive what has now taken over the earth.





	1. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving the CDC, the new direction of the group was Fort Benning. And that only meant a long trip waiting for them.... Even if Ellie wished that they would arrive with no problems, they usually invite themselves.

 

“I was thinking about our trip to the grand canyon with Carl” said Lori suddenly as Rick laughed

“I don’t remember that“ said Carl confused, he was starting to doze off, but the situation got him on track again.

“no… you wouldn’t, you were just a baby…..” said Lori “besides, we never made it past Fort Worth”

“No…. you got sick…. I never knew a baby could trow up so much” said Rick with a  smirk

“eww /ick” said  Carl and Sophia in disgust

“oh… just lovely, now I have the image in my head” said Eleanor rubbing her eyes, complaining, Lori laughed and Carol smiled “ahhh… I’ll never have babies” Rick laughed. They were in a spacious car, Rick as pilot, Lori was copilot, Carol Sophia and Carl were in the second row seat and Eleanor accommodated herself in the back, using the different bags, pillows and  blankets as cushion. “and you turned around and drove back?” asked Ellie

“yep… after we took him to a doctor in Texas” finished Lori

“well that sucks” grimaced Carl

“no…. it was a good trip” said Lori, getting a hand on Rick’s shoulder.

“can we go see it? The grand canyon?” asked Carl, and Sophia asked the same

“of course you can… it’s not like it’s going anywhere is it?” teased Eleanor and Carl smirked

“we would never go without you and your mom…. It’s a promise” said Rick, while Sophia and Carol cuddled.

 

But giggles stopped, Rick slowed down and Ellie lifted up her face, a row of abandoned cars appeared, and they tried to navigate around them until Dale’s RV over heated again. They stopped. Rick pulled over and everyone came out. Dale was complaining about the fact they were in the middle of nowhere, and how were they going to get what they needed.

“what are you talking about Dale… we’ve got everything” said Ellie in a merry tone “radiators, Gasoline, clothes…. And possibly food and water”

“what she said!” aid Daryl already searching around an  open car

“I get it…. You’ve got a point” said Dale walking around.  

 “This is a graveyard” said Lori out of nowhere, clearly disturbed and everyone stopped their moving  “I don’t know how to feel about this” she said unsure.

“it might be, but we just drove away from a worse sight didn’t we….. and we need the stuff more than they do now….” said Eleanor looking around “keep an eye out people, don’t make too much noise” she said walking away, getting out one of her blades.

Ellie walked around looking at the cars before her, when found a corpse, she pierced it’s crane of fear that it could still awake as a walker. Most of the time Carol turned away  and also instructed Sophia to do so, Lori was trying hard to adapt to the situation. Instead, she noticed his son followed Eleanor’s moves with attention, just like he did with Shane when he used to spend more time with them, and couldn’t help but grow restless.

 

Eleanor finally grabbed a large bag and pulled it to see it it was in good shape, the bag belonged to a lost tent and seemed to be quite large, she began to fill it with all kind of medicine, bandages, batteries she could find. She got hold on a flashlight, and some pocket knifes… a lighter, and to her surprise, a bag of crackers.  She turned around and noticed that Carl and Sophia were roaming around, going away from Carol and Lori, and grabbing stuff here and there.

“Carl!” called Lori as he turned “stay in between my or Ellie's sight Okay”

“Yes mom” said Carl

“you too Sophia” said Carol as Sophia nodded. Eleanor turned and waited, the two kids were catching up to her, and seemed to have something in their hands.

“Oh what have you got there” she said Sophia showed some batteries and Eleanor smiled and opened her bag, and Sophia put them inside, she turned to Carl, that appeared to have another lighter, a small bandage, and a hand flashlight “these are great… you make great scavengers” said Ellie with a smile, that the children returned. She lifted her head to try to spot Rick and the rest…… and her smile disappeared, her face turned into confusion…. And then into alarm, Rick was making sings for them to hide under the cars, he was too far away, and didn’t risk to scream; walkers were appearing on the distance… and a large group at that.

Carol tried to run to Sophia but they were at least two lines of cars apart and Lori pulled her down. Eleanor turned to the kids and tugged their hands “get under the cars…. Now, now” she whispered Sophia looked back at her mom and ducked, getting under a red car at the side of the highway, Eleanor also ducked and slid to the car that was in the right, Carl decided to stay under the same car that Ellie, realizing he was there, she got her arm around him in a protective manner.

Carol whimpered in fear and Lori covered her mouth, just as the walkers  arrived to her position, she tried her best to look and the front and could spot Ellie and Carl under the same car, the space they both occupied was almost complete and she searched for Sophia elsewhere, indeed she was in the car next to them. Carol noticed and tried not to cry of desperation; Lori tried to look around her and noticed that Rick was to her left, he was a car ahead of her, and he turned his  gaze from Carl and Ellie to Lori, trying to make soothing signs with his hands.

 

 

The seconds were complete torture, when the walkers arrived to the sides of the car Ellie was under, she feared her heartbeat was going to alert the walkers, she looked at Sophia that covered her mouth and trembled in fear, Eleanor tried to sooth her with a smile and a nod and Sophia closed her eyes looking down. She turned to Carl that looked at her concerned, and she pulled him closer to her…… after what felt like an eternity, no more walkers seemed to be walking around the cars, Eleanor let out her breath slowly, she felt as she was suffocating, and desperately wanted to come out of the car, but she was still unsure, scared……maybe she could wait a little longer.

A whimper made her turn her head in the other direction. Sophia tried to come out before her and attracted the attention of a walker that stayed behind. It ducked and tried to get a hold on her. She crawled out from the other way and ran, Eleanor tried to grab her blade out of her back, but the reduced space  they were in wouldn’t let her.

She turned to Carl, he looked at her worried “stay here… you’ll stay okay” she whispered serious and Carl nodded, just as the walker got up, Eleanor crawled out and attacked the walker.  It fell to the ground and Eleanor ran to the side of the highway. Fearful that the larger group of walkers would hear her if she screamed, she ran into the woods, trying to spot her. Another whimper made her alert, and ran in that direction, another walker was trying to catch her as Sophia backed away crying. Ellie cursed and ran a fast as she could through the trees…… the walker was so close to Sophia that Ellie decided to tackle him down.

They fell to the ground, the walker was on top of Ellie and she could hear his growling on her ear and she wide eyed, pushing him as far as she could from her face, the cackle of his jaws only meant he was trying to bite, but he was out of reach. A cry on her left told her that Sophia was still there, and Ellie pat the ground searching for her blade.  Finally getting hold of it, she pierced the neck of the walker from the side, facing up to reach his brain, she turned her face to the side in disgust as the rotten blood fell on her chest and neck. She hold her breath and pushed the corpse to the side; panting she got up. and looked at a horrified Sophia, that wasn’t sure if she would get close to Ellie or not. Then she screamed and pointed to Ellie, she looked behind and another Walker tried to launch at her, and she  hold him still. Then….. Ellie cursed, a faint growling was coming closer, and Ellie turned to look at Sophia that was backing away, scared she turned around and ran. 

“No.. don't, Sophia! .... wait!” screamed Ellie, but she could not longer see her, she turned back to the Walker that was attacking her, she let our a scream of rage on purpose and the walker that was walking by turned to her. She pushed the walker that she had by the shoulders against a tree and pierced his crane; she turned around to attack the last walker that was now coming at her, but before she could strike, an arrow pierced his temple, Ellie turned, and saw Rick and Daryl running to her.  

“are you alright!” he asked concerned, Ellie nodded

“where is Sophia?” asked Daryl

“she ran into that direction, the walkers were over me and I couldn’t stop her” said Ellie worried, pointing to her front.

“we’ll track her…. You need to return to the highway… T-dog is injured… and it’s bad” said Rick, Ellie frowned, but didn’t inquire further, they ran in the direction she pointed and Ellie turned to her right to return to the highway.

When she finally reached the hill and came out of the woods, she saw Carol, Lori and Carl, at the sight of only Eleanor, Carol looked to the side in desperation. Lori gazed terrified at a blood covered Ellie, Ellie gazed at Carl concerned and he had the same stare.

“what happened?” asked Shane, appearing next to them

“there were three walkers, while I was holding them down, Sophia run further into the woods, Daryl and Rick went after her…… I’m sorry” Said Ellie with a concerned face to Carol, who tried to fight tears in her eyes, nonetheless she nodded, her lips  turning white by the tension on her mouth.

“Glenn…. Let’s go help them… Elle, wait here, scavenge… move cars….. we’ll come back” said Shane in a wary tone and Eleanor nodded, she understood that it was better to keep people occupied. He went off the same direction Ellie came from, along with Glenn.

“are you alright?” Ellie turned to Carl, that looked unsure and nervous

“it’s okay big buddy” she said with a small smile, while she lifted her legs and passed the metal protector “Rick told me that T-dog was injured, and it was serious” said Ellie, grabbing a cloth from the vehicles. Lori guided her to where he was, sat on an open car, in front of the RV, he panted exhausted.  Elle trotted to him and T-dog looked at her, he was clenching his arm. She motioned him to let her see, and Ellie hold her breath a moment, a deep cut that grazed through the inner forearm….. it was deep enough to cut a  vein, and blood streamed from it.

“okay….. it’s going to be okay” she said grabbing her clean blade and using it to cut through the cloth she had. She made a tourniquet over the cut and the blood seemed to decrease it’s flow. Then she  turned to T-dog “wait for me a second, I’m going to suture the wound as best as I can…. Wait for me” she said running back to Carol’s car, grabbing her back pack and a bottle of water, she damped the remaining cloth on it and used it to clean her face and neck, and the remaining water to wash her arms and hands.  She got her stuff beside T-dog, and opened a small surgical kit that was on the bottom of her bag, she looked at the thread she still had and hoped it was enough. She looked back at T-dog that looked pale and tired, and proceeded to stitch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Carl looked at Ellie from in between the abandoned cars, she paced back and forth from T-dog to her bag and pulled alcohol, bandages and seemed to be sewing something. He sighed and wished to also be doing something, and walked around the cars…… Maybe he would find more medicines, or maybe he could find guns….. knifes, maybe a pair of large blades… just like Ellie’s.

 

He stumbled across a black pickup and looked inside, the dry corpse of a person lied there, not faced, he turned his head to the seats and his face illuminated for a moment; in the corpse’s lap, he seemed to distinguish an ax, along with some kind of tool bag. He turned around the car and put his hand on the handle of the door, with a deep breath, he opened it, the corpse that was in the seat rested move less… it seemed dry and stiff like the fakes you saw on scary rides of amusement parks. Even so, Carl slowly approximated, and tried to reach the bag with the ax without touching the body.

It didn’t budge, it was stuck. Carl looked at the corpse and tried again, but it was useless. But he shouldn’t give up, he jumped to the car and entered a little further, he tried to take the package again, but it was heavy and larger than expected. Frustrated, the frowned and let go of the wheel, that he was using as support and pulled the leather package with his two hands.

Then, the ax came out in a thug, and the corpse moved, Carl gasped and fell backwards, hugging the bag and looked up, the corpse wasn’t alive, it was still dried out, but moved once Carl got a hold of the bag, he looked at in and half smiled, got up and run to Shane.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“alright….. I hope this does some good” said Eleanor, she turned her head to the side, unsure “sorry about the look of it…. I haven’t done this enough times” she said pulling out a bandage.

“how it’s going to look is the least of my problems right now” said T-dog with a tired face, Ellie gave him a look of concern

“you need to rest, you have lost a lot of blood…. Wait, I think I left a bag somewhere with crackers…. You need to eat” she said putting her stuff aide “I’ll also try to search for some antibiotics… I cleaned your wound but… that walker you got yourself on top… I hope it doesn’t infect the wound” said Ellie worried. She walked back to the cars where Sophia disappeared and found the large bag she pulled out the crackers and returned to T-dog, he didn’t want to get inside the RV, instead he made himself comfortable in an  empty car. Ellie roamed around her bag until she heard a weird metallic noise coming her way, she looked up, it was Carl carrying a black leather bag with what seemed to be tools, since an ax was popping out of it.

“hey there…” began Ellie smiling “what you got there?”

“is Dale around here? I’m supposed to give this to him” said Carl serious, Eleanor found that odd

“oh…. He’s over there….” She said turning to the side “but I can take them to the RV if you want” she offered extending her hands. Carl looked at her and gave her the bag, that moment she noticed, it was not seriousness or anger in his eyes. It was hurt…. He was down. he turned around to leave and Ellie put the bag in the nearest car she could find and  walked behind him “Big buddy wait!..... Carl!” she said and he stopped, and turned to her, still frowning “are you okay?”

“it’s nothing” he said, but before he could turn and go away Eleanor kneeled in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder

“you found it right?....why don’t you show me what is it? ….. Pretty please” she said with a smile. Carl gazed at her for a moment and sighed, turning back to the bag, she got up worried and walked behind him, she grabbed the bag and put it on the ground, Carl opened it, at the sight of it her  face illuminated. A great variety of knives and weapons stood in front of Ellie, she gasped and smiled,

“Oh my god…. this… this is amazing!” she said getting out a hooked large knife “ oh sweet!!” she said  turning the blade for inspection “where did you get this?”

Carl looked a moment at Eleanor, he was unsure but decided to answer “in an old car, a man was carrying it”

“and you took it by yourself?” she asked serious, Carl looked at her expectant and she smirked “you are a brave one aren’t you?” she teased, a little twitch on his mouth told Ellie that his mood was lifting. “hmmm” she looked down to the set of blades, on the corner there a small knife with a customized black blade, she picked it and turned it around “this one might just be your size” she tempted, Carl wide eyed suddenly, and gazed at Eleanor expectant “Of course, your mom and dad have be okay with it”

“No way” he said letting his shoulders fall, sulking. That only made Ellie laugh

“Ohhhh I’m sorry buddy….. I couldn’t help it” she said closing the bag and lifting it “Did your mom get mad at your for that?” she asked going to the RV, this time, Carl followed after her.

“no….. but I think Shane did” said Carl looking down “I don’t know”

“don’t think too much about it…. Maybe he  is worried about Sophia” she said sitting on the stairs of the RV, Carl was standing and gazed down at her “Adults can be worst than children sometimes…. You just got to shake it off little one…. Shane cares about you” she said with a reassuring smile, Carl gazed at her for a moment, she wondered what were those light blue eyes thinking, he finally nodded, with a little smile, but he looked down still. Eleanor wasn’t satisfied, she wanted to keep trying to lift his mood, and an idea came to her. She turned to her right getting out one of her blades, a 21 cm large straight hunting blade, with a small curve in the end, and dents on the back side. She turned it around in front of her and as expected, Carl couldn’t take his eyes out of it.

“let’s make a deal…..” she offered suddenly “we know that you won’t get permission to use a balde until you are older…. So how about, when you are old enough, I give you this one instead….. and teach you how to use it properly” she said, looking at him. Carl’s face suddenly illuminated. And gazed at Ellie surpriced

“are you serious…” he asked 

“it’s a promise?” she tempted, and Carl smiled openly, excited “ah that’s the face I wanted to see” she said putting her blade away. “now why don’t you see if you can find some food….. while I search myself a shirt that can replace this mess” she said looking down at her while Carl smirked

“It’s that walker’s blood?” he asked walking beside her, animated “it smells nasty”

“and that is exactly the reason why I want it far away from me” she commented looking around the cars. Carl walked away and Ellie smiled, then looked down and chuckled. Never before has she ever  thought about giving away one of her blades… never, but this time she did it so easly. She was really getting attached to Carl, she couldn’t quite place how or why, but she didn’t mind; one thing was for certain…. She wanted him to survive.

 

 

Not too long after, Shane and Glenn returned, even if they circled around trying to cover more space, they didn’t know where to go…. And Rick and Daryl were on her trail, so in the end it was up to them again to search for Sophia. At sunset they came back. Carol looked at them terrified. Rick tried to explain how they looked, Sophia tried her best to go back to the highway, but then wandered, soon her trail was no longer found. Eleanor found that rather odd, she couldn’t have run so fast as that Daryl wouldn't track her down after Ellie was attacked by the walkers, maybe she was hiding, but why would she hide…. Things got only worse when they explained there was a walker but there was no sign that Sophia was near him, and they cut open the thing to make sure. Eleanor grimaced at the perspective, maybe it was some unnecessary  information, considering that Sophia could have been certainly bit but didn't stay to be eaten. She didn't want to think about that possibility.

“why did you leave her in the first place?” said Carol, looking at Eleanor, she turned her gaze surpriced at her “why didn’t you go after her?..... what were you thinking” she said in scorn

“Carol…” began Rick

“I was attacked by three walkers…..” began Eleanor, trying to remain calm “She got scared, maybe she even thought I was going to get bit and ran away…….  she wasn’t left behind”

“nobody is saying otherwise” cut Shane, Eleanor looked at him, and sighed.

“my little girl is lost and alone in the woods” Carol cryed and Eleanor looked down. Lori and Andrea sat beside her to console her, Eleanor turned around and went to the RV.

 

 

Next morning, Rick  gathered everyone to make search parties to look for Sophia, he praised Carl’s efforts of finding the blades, something that they were going to use as protection. Everyone took one unsure, Ellie rested to the side, given she was already well equipped.

“but where are the real weapons…. Why don’t we take guns” said Andrea. “you are carrying why can’t we”

“this is not a competition…. Andrea, They are trained, you aren’t” said Eleanor annoyed “even so I’m more confortable with blades, say people fire in the middle of the forest by accident and we attract a herd to us, just like the one we saw yesterday….. I don’t want to get caught in the middle of it” she said with a glare.

“she’s right…. Until you are trained properly, you’ll use the blades. We are not risking anyone else you so you need to get over it” said Shane, supporting Eleanor. Andrea glared to her but Eleanor  knew she was right, and Andrea’s angsty bullshit was seriously the last thing she needed that day.

“the idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side. Chances are she’ll be by the creek, it’s her only landmark” said Daryl going first

“stay quiet, stay sharp. Keep space between you but always stay within sight of each other” said Rick “Dale, keep up those repairs we’ve got to get this RV ready to move” Dale nodded “would you keep an eye on Carl while we are back” he offered

“I’m going with you” said Carl in a descisive tone, Rick looked at him “you need people right? To cover as much ground as possible”

“*chuckle* hard to go against that logic” commented Eleanor with  a michievous smile, Carl turned to his mom, and Lori looked at them

“your call….. I can’t always be the bad guy” she answered, and Rick gave in, going to the palette of blades and taking exactly the custom pocket knife that Eleanor got out before. He kneeled in front of Carl and waved the blade in front of him.

“this is not a toy….” He said and Carl nodded “you’ll stay within our sight” he said looking at Eleanor, she nodded “no exceptions” and finally gave him the blade, Carl smirked a little, and Ellie sighed, Rick, Lori and her made a small group that headed to the forest, Carl tagging alongside them.

 

 

Eleanor sat at the stairs of a church. She looked up a the adjacent cemetery, Rick and Shane were talking. Maybe Shane wanted to give up hope of finding Sophia. At that moment, Ellie wanted to not think about it too much….. guilt was something she always hated to deal with. After hours of walking they found nothing but a man that committed suicide on a tent, and an empty church that had a recording of a bell that sounded a certain hours. Even if there was hope that Sophia would have heard that bell, there was no way for sure that she could know how to get to the church in the first place. She looked to her right, the whole group was was taking some shadow, drinking some water. Carl didn’t try to talk to Shane again after the incident with the blades the other day. And Carol avoided Ellie the best she could….. all that left Eleanor really tired.

“you are splitting us up, you sure?” Daryl asked, Rick and Shane went back to the group, proposing the rest to turn in, leaving them to keep looking for the rest of sun hours they had

“I’ll go with you…. I’m not going to stay put otherwise” said Ellie walking to them and Rick agreed.

“I’m staying too… I’m her friend” said Carl as he stepped up, this time around, Ellie wanted to object. They were only three and Lori was going back. Ellie was conscious that they were less people but maybe she could walk around with more freedom knowing she didn’t have to look out for the rest of them, but to her dismay both rick and Lori accepted, she sighed and walked away.

 

A sudden feel of dread… filled her inside.

 

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey! it's a longer chapter that expected, i was thinking of splitting it in two, but no need. it came out nice....
> 
> See you in the next chapter.


	2. Survive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Sophia got lost into the woods, Rick and his group went to search for her.... however, the search gave no results, and the group was returning to the highway, leaving only Rick, Shane and Eleanor to search for the little girl. Carl, against all odds, was allowed to stay with them. And as many things in life..... an accident just happened.

 

Ellie remembered her father telling her once, they went to the park.... she was really young so there was no way she would remember; but a man tried to snatch her away. He told her that adrenaline was a powerful thing. Even if in reality he bounced and tackled the man in only seconds he felt he was walking in slow motion, he felt his body was not fast enough, or his mind was racing at speed of light. For her it was interesting to hear, but always strange, since she never felt adrenaline and fear to that point.... not even after the outbreak...

 How ever, at that moment, maybe she had a better idea of what her father  could have felt that day. 

She ran beside Carl, and didn't bother noticing in Rick was already beside her or not. she lifted his shirt gently and from his right side. A stream of blood was making it's way to the ground. She teared part of her shirt and folded it pressing on the wound to prevent further bleeding; only at that moment she looked around, searching for something..... the figures of Shane and Rick passed through her eyes like faint ghosts... were there tears in her eyes?   Her gaze landed on Rick again.

"Rick... give me your belt.... now!" She ordered. He obeyed, and with his help they lifted Carl's torso gently and Ellie put the shirt over the little compress and pressed it with the help of the belt. 

"Oh my god.... i'm so sorry" she heard to her side, she looked up, there was this over weighted man that was apologizing to them, carrying a rifle; Ellie wide eyed and then glared in hate. "I know a doctor! His name is Hershel.... he lives on a farm 20 minutes from there..... I-I'm sorry I didn't---" 

"save it" Eleanor sneered. Rick got Carl in his arms and got up, they ran in the direction the man pointed. They were only walking through the woods, when a male deer appeared before them, the forsaken animal didn't run... and Carl approached it. Ellie should have known that the universe was laughing at her face, when a bullet pierced both the deer and Carl at the same time. The dread she felt twisted her stomach and she had nausea.... she could have shot the damn animal, she could have scared it away....

 

 

They reached the end of the woods. Ellie huffed a little ahead of Rick, that was holding Carl, they reached a small hill, a clearing, and Ellie could see a large house and a barn, and that only moved her to run faster,  once closer, she could identify a old man, two women, and a boy with a bat on his hands. 

"are you Mr. Hershel!" she said slowing down, arriving at the door

"yes.... and who----" began Hershel 

"you have to help us... that child has been shot by one of your men" said Eleanor signaling behind her, Rick was arriving with Carl in his arms. 

"Otis" he said and one of the women gasped behind him. That moment Rick arrived with Carl in his arms

"take him inside!” ordered Hershel and Rick got in, Eleanor followed the two men. Hershel began ordering people around for his medical kit and supplies; he opened a room on the left, leading to a bed. Rick put Carl down and Backed away, Hershel took away the belt around Carl and lifted the shirt, where he found the small cloth filled in blood. "pillowcase!" eh said

"I'll do it" Said Ellie graving a pillow and getting the cover out

"fold it.... and press the wound" Hershel commanded while he got his stethoscope.

"is ...... is he alive?" Rick managed to ask. Hershel felt around Carl's chest for a moment. 

"I have a heartbeat..... is faint" he said leaving the instrument aside. 

"i got it step back" Ellie heard behind her, she looked a the woman and backed away, Rick paced around trying to go closer. but the other girl asked for some space to work. Ellie took a deep breath and turned to Rick. 

"Rick we are going to the other room... okay; they need more space" said Eleanor, Rick shocked his head in panic, not sure where he was, she took him by the arm and he turned to her  "it's going to be okay..... come with me" she said, as calm as she could. Rick nodded and let himself be dragged to the hallway. Ellie looked to the window and noticed that Shane was arriving, along with that man... Otis. Rick was pacing around the room when Shane entered with the guy. He looked at Rick and then at Ellie 

"is the boy a live...is he alive?.... i didn't see him--" said Otis

"save it" repeated Eleanor with the same tone, she turned to Shane "his heartbeat is weak.... he lost a lot of blood...." they all returned and walked into the room, and just as Eleanor said, Carl lost a lot of blood, and needed a transfusion. Rick offered, they were both A positive. Hershel turned to Otis, and asked what happened, and he explained he was following the deer for some time and when he fired, the bullet went right trough it, that he never saw Carl and again, that he was sorry it all happened.

"the deer slowed the bullet down, which certainly saved is life" said Hershel "but it did not go through clean, it broke into pieces..... he'll have a chance....If i can get the bullet fragments out, and I'm counting six" Ellie looked down in pure concern, while Rick cried, saying over and over that Lori didn't know what happened...... Shane trying to calm him down, but failing in the process.  

Time was going so slowly, Rick sat beside Shane, blaming himself, thinking why he let Carl go with them instead of doing things right. Searching for Sophia as if she were another little girl and they were still cops. Ellie tried to settle down somewhere but she ended up pacing from wall to wall, every 5 minutes or so. Looking at that door. She wished she would have any comforting words, but she felt the same way Rick did, she should have spoken, she should have refused, or even so, said that she was going back so that it would be easier to convince Carl to return with them to the highway.

 

 

Ellie hold down Carl while he screamed his lungs out in pain. He was pale, he was covered in sweat, she wasn’t sure when he woke up  but at least he did. Hershel was fighting his way to get the fragments of him out, and he called on Ellie to stop Carl from moving around, and Rick so that he could donate the blood that the little boy was clearly loosing. Carl turned to look at Ellie in pain and she tried her best to give him a reassuring smile, and he fainted. Shane, watching from the door, asked in panic.

“he just passed out form the pain Shane…” said Ellie and Hershel glanced at her for a moment, then pulled out a blood covered piece of metal, and put it to the side.

“how many are there left?” Eleanor dared to ask, innocently

“that was the first one” said Hershel defeated, and Eleanor looked down in concern, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Shane came out of the room stressed, while Hershel took the blood pressure again; he was stabilizing, but he was still going to need more transfusions and Rick shouldn’t go away, how ever this one was going on and on saying that Lori needed to know… Ellie helped him walk out of the room and take a seat. Maggie and Otis were waiting there.

“Eleanor…  Lori needs to know she’s his mother, I have…. To tell her”

“Rick, what you need to do is take a breath and think for a moment….. you’ve got Shane and me… we can tell Lori…. We are going to tell her” said Ellie, kneeling in front of him. “but you have to stay” Rick shocked his head, looking to the side, refused to listen, still in panic “Rick…. Look at me….” She said turning his head to face her with a hand, gently. Rick looked at her and Ellie could feel her heart breaking, those exact same blue eyes, they were so different and yet, they were identical. She took a breath “Carl needs you here…. He needs… you. Not because of your blood, he needs you because you are his father…. You are his support and you have to be strong for him. Even if… even if he were to not resist” Said Ellie, her resolve failing her “you need to be by his side, you will never forget yourself otherwise …… you know I’m right….” With a small smile. Rick looked at her, his eyes filling with tears again, and he rested his hand over Ellie’s.

“you are right….” He said in a weak whisper “you are always right” he looked into her brown steady eyes and began shaking, he pulled Ellie into a hug.

“you got the hardest part to play cowboy…. You promise you’ll stay strong for me” she said while still hugging, she could feel Rick nodding in her shoulder. They parted and Eleanor gave a look at Rick and smiled, he was calming himself, his usual serious gaze returned, even if it looked so tired…. It was something. Then, the doors to the room Carl was in opened. The doctor came out, and Eleanor got up along with Rick.

“how is he?” asked Rick

“He’s stable, but I need to take out the other fragments….. and for that i need to dig deeper…. The one I got out was the shallowest one” said Hershel concerned “…. And, his arterial pressure is falling, his belly is distended, he has internal bleeding;  one fragment much have knitted one of the blood  vessels”

“you need to operate to stitch it” said Ellie with a frown, Hershel nodded “but that means…. You’ll have to sedate him?”

“I need to…. if he tries to move like before, I could severe an artery and he’ll be dead in minutes” Hershel finished explaining

“but…. Do you have that kind of equipment here?” said Eleanor, she looked at Hershel apprehensive and he looked down. “what… what do you need?” she asked, her voice shaking

“he won’t breathe on his own if I put him under….. I need a respirator, and the tube that goes with it…. Extra surgical supplies, gauze, sutures….”

“is there any hospital in this area?” asked Shane, he was resting on a wall

“the nearest went up in flames a month ago….” began Otis shaking his head, but his face illuminated “the high school….”

“that’s what I was thinking” cut Hershel “ They set up a FEMA shelter there… they would have everything we need”

“the place was overrun last time I saw it, we couldn’t get near it, maybe it’s better now” said Otis defeated.

“I’ll go….  i know exactly what Dr. Hershel needs…. I can make it” said Eleanor

“No….” said Rick looking away shaking his head “you… you can’t go there alone…”

“who said she was going alone” Shane stepped in “we’ll take care of it… just make us the list and draw us a map doc.”

“you won’t need a map…. I’ll take you” offered Otis, Patricia, one of the women that was there urged him to decline, Eleanor assumed they were husband and wife “They could get lost trying to get there, and it is my responsibility…. We could talk about this all day or make it quick”

“Carl doesn’t have all day” said Eleanor, and then she looked down…. wondering who would tell about Lori, but at that moment, Maggie, stepped in. Offering to go for her….

 

 

“just get what you need and get out of there” Said Rick while Shane put three bags on the truck , and with a nod and a friendly shake of hands, he got inside it. Rick turned to Eleanor, and pulled her into a hug.

“I hate letting you do this” he whispered

“what ever it takes, I swear I’ll bring that equipment” answered Ellie “just stay strong for me okay” she  smiled, they parted and Rick looked down…. nodding, but then he pulled out his python and gave it to Ellie, she frowned and gave him a look of disbelieve.

“I’m quite fond of it…. So you better bring it back” he teased, Ellie snickered

“I’ll bring it back” she said and jumped into the back of the truck, Otis gave his good byes to his wife and Hershel, and got inside of the truck. And they drove off….

 

 

“see the light blue truck with EMS written on it? that is it…” said Eleanor in a defeated tone. It was almost night time and they finally arrived at the school. She insisted on Otis staying near the vehicle, and only using the rifle to cover their backs when they came back with the supplies…. She didn’t regret her decision. This was going to be a long night and Otis might just slow them down more than help them.

Shane looked up the police vehicle they were hidden behind. He actually didn’t regret Eleanor’s choice either, they walked for at least 10 minutes before arriving to a small hill and a fence that protected the high school of the wide green areas around it. He searched with his eyes the vehicle Eleanor described and his face turned into a mix of concern and fear. It was indeed in the entrance of the school, but the entrance was also  completely over run by walkers. He looked down…. he had no idea for how were they going to go pass that and arrive at that damn truck in one piece.

“we need something to entertain them… the horn of  a car…. A lantern…. “ she began “maybe we can activate the alarm of one car by trowing a rock….”

“wait… I know of something” said Shane slowly crouching around the police car until he reached the pilot door and opened it, each sound, even as small put Ellie en edge, and when Shane activated the backdoor open she jumped in fear, looking around, he returned and pulled out light flares, Ellie widened her eyes and nodded, with a small smile.

The red lights of the flares illuminated a corner of the high school, while Ellie and Shane sneaked their way from the opposite direction. No walker seemed to noticed them, and when they reached the emergency truck and closed the door behind them, they let out a sigh in relief. Ellie didn’t wait longer and got out the list and looked at it with a flashlight, then around the shelves  full of medical supplies, she paced around two before she turned back to Shane, who waited expectant.

“okay” she said with a small huff “the oxygen bottles, all of them; then… surgical supplies are over there, all that column, medical alcohol….. gauze”

“yeah I know the stuff” said Shane walking forward, opening a bag, with a nod Eleanor turned to the side and searched for the respirator.

 

“are you done?” asked Shane, maybe for him I felt like too much time, but Ellie didn’t stop filling her bag ever since she opened it, once she found the plastic parts of the respirator, medicines and extra gauze, she was fighting her way through the shelves, searching for a endotracheal intubator.

“done.... oh you little shit, I searched for you everywhere” she cursed closing her bag and putting it on her back. She was hopeful, the night wasn’t over and the only thing that they had to do now was to go back.

 

How hard could it be to go back…..

 


	3. Whatever it takes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, Carl was shot by accident, Rick, Shane and Eleanor took the kid to Hershel, a doctor that had a farm nearby. He had to operate and to do so, Ellie and Shane had to get some supplies from a high school over run by walkers. Before going to this dangerous enterprise, Eleanor promised Rick that she and Shane would do whatever it took to come back with the medicines and save Carl's life. 
> 
> But was she sure of what that meant?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: 
> 
> The characters and original plot belong to the walking dead owners. Eleanor Sherry and what ever plot twist and modifications we may come across are only intended for the use of this fanfiction, and represent no way of profit. 
> 
> With that said, please enjoy

 

   
'there was no way it would be that easy.... was there'

 

“move… move, move!” whispered Ellie, Shane and she ran down the stairs of the vehicle and tried to pass through the buildings, searching for another way out. In the end, they took longer than expected, longer than the flares they fired to attract the walkers the other way.....  she went to her right and past him, Shane ran behind her as she went to a corner and ran upstairs. Until she wanted to turn to the right but a walker was in front of her.

“Elle!” she heard behind her as she pulled her blade and attacked the walker that fell to the ground but more came “left! Left!” she signaled with her arm and ran in that direction. Even if she wasn't completely sure where the hell they were going, she was sure that they had to arrive somewhere..... Ellie stopped when more walkers stood in front of her, more than she could take care of, and she knew it was no better behind her. Then... she heard a strong thunder sound behind her, and glass breaking, Shane fired his shotgun to destroy the glass door of the building they had in front, he grabbed Ellie by the wrist and ran inside. Eleanor turned around and looked at Shane that was fighting his way to pull a side metal door fence. she ran beside him and with the two of them, they pulled it all the way through, and grabbing a nail they found on the ground, they blocked the small place where a padlock should have been..... they were trapped.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rick looked down at his forearm, it was easier to look down than up, his eyes thought so; and the sight was interesting. It was a blessing he never really got the needle out of his vein and since it was the third time he donated blood that night, might was well say he'll leave it there for the rest of his life. The blood that came out of him looked like a red string, that.... in a weird way, connected his life force to his son. He looked to the side. Carl was sleeping, his face looked peaceful, but it wasn't near as re-comforting as he thought it would be, he was pale, he was covered in sweat. 

"Rick, you got to keep your strength up" He heard, he made the effort to look up a moment, it was Lori in front on him, offering a plate with a sandwich and a glass of orange juice. After some moments of hesitation, he took the plate and Lori left the glass on the small night table that stood beside the bed, and went to the other side. He looked at the bread and frowned, he had no appetite, or thirst..... hell, he was not going to have anything until Carl opened his eyes again, until the doctor said that he was going to survive, until those fragments were out of his little body...... until Eleanor came back with the respirator and the surgical supplies. 

"what are you thinking about?" asked Lori, and Rick turned to look at her, he was balancing the little dish on this knee, and he hadn't touched his sandwich yet. 

"i was thinking of how was Elle doing..... if she got the medicines, if she was on her way back" he paused, and looked to the window "if she encountered trouble"

Lori looked at him and sighed.

"you know....." he began with a small smile on his face "she never really had the time to tell you the whole story, never mentioned that she denied my help twice before finally convincing her to come with me" he said amused. "or how instead of being mad at me for screwing up and cornering us inside that tank, she tried to make up jokes to lift up my mood"

"Doctor Hershel said you should eat and regain your forces" she cut concerned. Rick was looking weaker by the moment, and her fear of Eleanor and Shane never coming back were driving her insane.

 "she'll come back with those medicines...." concluded Rick, with a reassuring gaze to his wife "she and Shane.... they'll get the supplies, Carl will be alright"

"Please eat..... for me" she insisted, and Rick looked down, grabbed hold on the bread and took a bite. And wasn't sure of why but he just thought about it, Eleanor might have not eaten anything since the whole thing happened, just like him;  was she already on her way back, complaining she was hungry.....

 

she had to come back.....

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"come on" said Eleanor, turning around and running through the front hallway, until arriving to the fireproof door that separated the first hallway of classrooms, Shane behind her, once inside, they put the secure locks on and looked around for something, anything that would keep the door in place. Then, Shane came out of one of the classrooms with a broom, and they used the metal stick to barricade, getting it in between the door handles.... and backed away. 

"damn it" aid Shane, kicking a locker that was on the side in frustration, Eleanor looked around at the different doors, but then a loud bang was heard on the door, and it moved violently, the walkers already went past the front cage door and were now on the fire door. Shane turned around and started running, along with Eleanor, they tried to open some doors, but were either locked, or nailed shut, tables and chairs could be seen from the inside and Elle couldn't help but wonder, how long was it for the people that hid in that room to die. She shivered and while they went up stairs to the second floor, there was much progress; and thing only got worse when they heard a loud bang and growling coming from the first floor.... they made their way inside. "over here... Elle over here" he said grabbing her wrist again and turning to the right, Eleanor wide eyed when they passed trough a second floor hallway, that was a connection between the building they were in and another. She looked through the window in terror....  she could see the group of walkers going to the opened door of the building, trying to get inside, then a sudden realization came to her and she looked at the front.

"Shane i think we can make it" She said suddenly, and ran straight to the line of doors she saw in front of her, they seemed to have reached the administrative building, because the rooms were smaller than actual classrooms. Shane stood there, unsure of what she was doing and looked around for possible walkers lurking in instead. 

"how does this help us exactly kid?" he asked when Ellie gave a satisfied 'Yes' at one of the offices opening, she walked in and reached for the window. 

"with all the commotion, most walkers have reached the door of the building, they are gathering there, and that means a distraction" she began, trying to pen the window with little pushes, but it was stuck, so instead she kicked it until the wooden frame gave in  "if we try to reach the front door of this other building  we might still encounter them, and with the bags slowing us down is too much of a risk....... instead, we could go down here.... we can hide in this room, we can barricade ourselves and take our time...." she said going to the side to reach for the large desk...

..... until she heard the door closing. 

 

"Shane?" Ellie turned to look at the door nervous, Shane was outside.... she ran to the door and could feel how Shane was trying to block the handle from the outside. "Shane.... this is not funny" she said nervous, but the lack of response put her on edge "Shane!? open that damn door!"

"You are right kid, the bags slow us down, and you plan just might work" he began, Eleanor looked around the room and found Shane's bag of supplies "I'll distract them.... try to reach the front door instead..... run to the truck, don't stop until you reach it"

"No..... Shane you don't need to do that.... Shane!?" she said banging on the door

"we'll meet at the truck kid..... good luck" he said and Eleanor could no longer see his silhouette through  the opaque glass of the door. 

Ellie cursed and was ready to tear that door down, but a rush of fear came through her, the distinct sound  of growls were approaching, and instinctively,  she kneeled and tapped her mouth, trying to make any sound at all..... she could hear some limbs banging against the door, and she closed her eyes scared. At that point, even if she didn't make any sound, the weight of the walkers might just push down the door; and it was too late to try to barricade herself.... the sound might alert them and it could end even worse..... She turned around and looked at the window she opened, and slowly approximated to it.

She slid down the wall and looked at the front...... 15? no, at least a 20 foot drop was waiting for her. Her mind told her there was no way she was going to survive that, no way at all. It could be a broken leg, breaking her collarbone while rolling, miscalculating and hitting her back instead..... so many things could go wrong. Reason told her she could not do it...... her self preservation instinct told her it was not worth the try. 

 

"what ever it takes... what ever it takes" she repeated, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Then she got up and reached for her handgun, with the metal handle to even the glass of the broken window, she tried her best to not make too much of a noise; and looked behind scared at the door...... it was creaking with the sound of the walkers pressed against it, but they were still distracted. She looked down again, there was a sidewalk, followed by some average sized bushes, and grass. she picked her bag and balanced it before letting it go.... the bag landed on one of the bushes, and rolled to the side. She let out her breath and a small smile formed in her lips, while she went for Shane's bag, that was still  next to the door. She pulled the bag but almost tripped back in the process. Eleanor wide eyed and looked down..... one of the straps of the bag got trapped in the door...... then as if things couldn't get any worse. a growl and a scratch could be heard on the door, followed by a bang..... and another. Eleanor pulled out one of her blades and cut the strap pulling the bag and going to the window. trowing it to the bushes. 

Eleanor looked back in fear when she heard glass breaking, the small window of the door broke and the arms of the walkers reached  inside. She walked out of the window and turned around, slowly letting her body hang from the frame of the window. She breathed in and out a couple of times before grabbing a little impulse, pushing against the wall so that there was some space in between the wall and her landing spot. The impulse helped her to turn around her body, facing the grass...... for a moment she thought she was going to make it, until her feet landed on the ground. The plan was to use the momentum and roll the force out of her body; but what she wasn't counting with was a large piece of glass that was on the floor, that was underneath when she landed..... and that made one of her feet slip, making her roll badly....... 

A gasp followed by a chocked scream of pain were heard. Eleanor turned to look behind, searching for something, but then... she looked at the front again.... terrified; she dislocated her ankle. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rick and Lori run into the room Carl was staying. The faint coughs alerted them, and found the child, confused and scared looking around, until his eyes fell on his mother and father. Lori kneeled beside him, and caressed his head, trying to sooth him.

“Where are we?” he began

“That is Hershel” began Rick, a relieved smile crept on his face, his son woke up, and he had strength…., Lori smiled also looking at Hershel “we are in his house” Carl shifted and grimaced in pain, while he coughed still “you had an accident”

“it hurts…. A lot” he squirmed, and Lori tried to sooth him again. He looked at his father and back at his mother, smiling “mom… there was a deer, you should have seen it” he said and Lori smiled “he …was…” but he stopped mid-sentence, his face frozen, his gaze lost; Lori’s smile disappeared to reveal a face of pure terror, and Rick tempted to call to his son; then, he had a strong seizure. To what Hershel only said they had to wait for it to stop, that any attempt to force the movement of his body could be even more dangerous…..

Once settled he approximated and checked the dilatation of his eyes, and then his blood pressure “his brain is not receiving enough blood…. He needs another transfusion” said Hershel defeated.  

“I’m ready” said Rick serious

“I can’t take anymore from you, you have already lost enough blood, your body can shot down… you’ll go into a coma”

“I’ll donate” Lori rose defiant, and Rick looked at her startled “I’m O positive…. I should be able to donate right?” Hershel looked at her, and wasn’t sure of what to do, shaking his head.

“you are wasting time” ended Rick, and he decided to take blood from Lori this time around…. she sat beside Carl, as Rick kissed her forehead…..

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"arg.... motherfucker.... fuck" she cursed, her voice muffled by the sleeve of her hoodie, she moved her leg with force in the other direction, and she could feel her feet returning to it's rightful place. She tried to breath in the pain, and concentrated on tearing another large piece of her shirt. patting around the floor, she found the small wooden slabs that made the separation of the window she broke and then pulled her boot out. Grimacing and biting a side of her hoodie again, she wrapped the slab around her ankle and secured them in place with the piece of cloth. then, she tried her best to fit her boot back, being wide enough that when she tug her shoelaces, it was an extra protection of the now immobilized foot...... and with a final curse, she got up, tested her foot, grabbed both bags and walked to the fence....

 

She couldn’t see Shane..... now when she reached the fenced wall that separated the school from the hill, scared of the possible walkers that could appear," she tried to avoid the parking lot, the places she and Shane already went. She hated herself for it, given she could search for the administrative building entrance and see if Shane could get out or not.... but the odds were against them both now... and she had  to trust that Shane could make it, somehow.

finally she reached a hole in the fence and crawled the best she could through it, then slide down; there was a small valley made in between the higher ground and the field, assuming it was to stop the walkers from climbing the fence, she didn't too much about it..... maybe she could walk around it until finding a higher level...... but a growling alerted her.... two zombies appeared from the field outside the school, and fell into the pit. Forgetting her first idea, she tried to climb the little hill, but she screamed in pain as her ankle couldn't hold her for a task that difficult, and turned around; getting out her blade, not ready to risk any sound that would attract more to her.... 

But then, a strong thunder sound was heard.... then another. The walkers fell to the ground and Ellie looked up. Otis was there, kneeling, offering his hand for her to climb.

"you are injured" he said concerned as Eleanor panted "where is Shane?"

"He is still inside...." said Eleanor shacking her head "He acted as a decoy so that i could escape.... he was supposed to reach the administration front door but... i didn't see him" she said worried. Otis frowned and nodded. and got up 

"I'll go get him.... I'll go for him so run to the truck and don't stop!" he said sliding down the hill, entering the same way she came out. Eleanor grunted and turned into the other direction. gazing at the field in the middle of the night.... 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hershel was measuring Carl's blood pressure again..... he sighed 

“he’s still loosing blood faster than we can replace it, and with the swelling in his abdomen... we can't wait any longer; or he's just going to slip away” he said discouraged. “now i need to know right now if you want me to do this, because I think your boy is out of time” he insisted, but silence reigned in the room, both parents were uncertain "you have to make a choice!"

“a choice!” said Lori as Rick looked at her, he was pale and feverish

“a choice..... you have to tell me what it is...” he said, he caressed his wife's face and she touched his hand and nodded.

“we do it” she said as rick hugged her.

 

Patricia arrived with a metal wheeled table, they put it in front of the bed and between the four of them they used the bed sheets to move Carl from the bed to the table. Patricia prepared the surgical tools and put them to the side, Hershel was about to tell Lori and Rick to step out of the room... when he sound of a Carl engine was heard outside of the house. Rick and Lori ran to the front door, and found the blue truck, already stopped, and was taking out the bags from the bag. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Eleanor just made her way out of the vehicle and was circling it with slowly when Rick hugged her.... startled she had no time to answer the hug; and only limped a little to remain in her feet. Noticing Rick's tired but rejoiced face turned into one of confusion then complete concern, and Eleanor couldn't help but snicker at the sudden array of human emotion.

"Eleanor what?... i mean how?" he said not sure how to end that phrase

"it's a twist cowboy... i'm still better than you at the moment" she joked, and put an arm around his shoulders "but I'll gladly accept a little help" she grimaced in pain and Rick took the hand over his shoulder, helping her walk around the truck, by that moment, Lori had already parted from her hug with Shane and looked at Eleanor, a clear face of concern on her face.

"yeah.... also that.." said Shane stressed while Lori walked to her, taking Eleanor's face in between her hands for a moment, with a tender smile, that Eleanor answered despite the pain. 

"And Otis" Eleanor heard over Lori's shoulder, that was the moment she noticed Hershel and Maggie were outside. Eleanor swallowed and looked at Hershel. 

"Mr. Hershel... we, we are really sorry" she began, and looked down. Hershel looked from her face to Shane's and Maggie couldn't help to shed some tears. 

"Don't say anything to Patricia.... not until after, I need her!" said Hershel, entering the house.

 

 

The four stayed outside, Rick walked to Shane, while Lori hold Ellie on her feet. Shane, still shocked by the whole thing, couldn't meet Ricks gaze, also looking down, he shock his head, not believing what happened. 

"They.... kept blocking us at every turn..." he said unsure "he said he'll cover me.... and.... when i looked behind...." 

Rick looked at Shane, concerned and then turned at Eleanor, that with the help of Lori and Maggie now sat at the stairs of the entrance, she sighed, and at the sound Rick turned to look at her. 

"Otis was waiting for us outside, Shane and me got separated, i was making my way to the truck when Otis helped me.... he went back to the school to help Shane and.... he didn't make it" she said, more collected that Shane himself, she shock her head "I wish it would have gone differently.... he saved both of us" said Eleanor, turning to look at Maggie "he was really brave.... I'm really sorry" she ended concerned, to what Maggie gave a little smile, a resigned nod and went inside the house. 

"you twisted your ankle?" asked Lori suddenly and Rick walked to Ellie's side

"dislocated.... actually" she said pulling her leg to a side "we miscalculated our time and when we got out the FEMA truck, we were surrounded by walkers...." she began, Lori in concern to the front, looking at Shane "we tried to find a way out, and searched refuge on a building instead.... bad move, we were pushed to the second floor...." but then stopped and looked at Shane, that looked back at her. Rick noticed and had a confused face

"then..." he urged

"we got separated...." continued Shane "I uh.... lured the walkers elsewhere while she got out  with the bags... through the window" he said, and Lori looked confused, then realizing what he meant, she got a hand on her mouth.

"you jumped from the window of a high school's second floor?" asked Rick, not believing his ears, he wasn't sure if he should be impressed, or angry. "what is that..... 15 foot high?"

"It felt like 20 actually" Eleanor tried to joke it out, and seemed to make effect, tearing a little snicker from Lori, Rick smirked "to my defense.... I was going to land safely, but a glass was on the ground and I slipped and.... bad luck happens" she said looking at her stretched leg. But her smile faded "that's how Otis found me.... limping my way out of the school, and he came back for Shane" she said looking down. 

"thank you.... for all what you did.... both of you" said Rick, a hand on Ellie's shoulder while, she tried to smile again..... something that Shane couldn't do. 

 

 

The door opened and Hershel came out to face Rick and Lori, the first one got up trying to hold onto Eleanor, who wanted to get up as well. They looked expectant to what he had to say. 

"he seems to have stabilized" he said in a relieved tone, at that, Eleanor couldn't help to let her air out in sigh followed by a little laugh and a broad smile, that Hershel seemed to answer, but it was too fast gone. 

"i don't have words" said Lori in gratitude.... but Hershel looked at her concerned

"I don't either... How will i tell Patricia about Otis" he said and Eleanor looked back at Shane that was scared and unsure how to engage that conversation. Ellie frowned to the front and was about to offer to talk to her, but Rick offered instead; saying that Eleanor should go to see Carl with Lori. 

As Ellie limped to the door, and the first thing her eyes landed on was a pale, sleeping form. She stood there unsure and Lori had to guide her to the chair that was beside the bed, she sat slowly.... and her hands instinctively searched for the little child's wrist; she searched a heartbeat, and when she found it.... she let out her breath again. Eleanor smiled in relief but her teary eyes and hurt frown turned the relieved face into a weird grimace. The day kicked in.... all of it. From the moment she lost Sophia.... to the deer, to the bullet, reaching the farm... and the high school.... she felt suddenly so tired she could pass out then and there, her hand trembled on top of Carl's wrist and the only thing that comforted her was the faint heartbeat she could feel on it..... she was so tired, she didn't bother to clean the tears in her eyes, so relieved she couldn't care about the rest around her, not the cries of Patricia, not the faint voice of Lori, that talked to Shane outside the room, telling him to stay. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shane was so tired, it had finally ended.... that day, that day of shit. Maybe the best moment that day had for him was now.... now that Carl was out of danger. He was so tired, so tired that he gladly refused to leave, even if he knew that Lori would never again have a thing around him, so tired he had no force to say anything to anyone about Otis.... 

He looked at his expression in the mirror, the steam of the hot water clouding the glass suddenly. He looked at his face.... he was so tired, he wanted to be tired, but his heart was still beating so fast. his mind was still on that high school. And almost against his will, his hand traced around his hair, finding a missing spot, the he touched in pain.... hair that was forcefully pulled.... by a person crying in pain, calling for help.... blaming him for his hate. 

'I had to.... if i did what i had to do' he thought, while he reached for an electric razor and cut his hair.....

The mirror got blurred by steam again and Shane cleaned it once he was done.... looking at his new image. He didn't saw the difference, it was still him... so no one had to know.... what really happened to Otis. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people! 
> 
> I really liked this part of season 2, given it gets a little slow paced from this point on (back when i watched it, I thought it could be done in half the chapters they actually made so..... yep); it shows how things can get complicated, and i really wanted to contrast the breakdown of Shane and the struggle of Eleanor, one choosing survival over moral, the other one giving a jump of faith (ha... sorry for the pun, i couldn't help it); in the end they both did whatever it took to come back and save Carl's life, but still it felt different.
> 
> Also, I couldn't help but make Lori donate, make the math, there was no way she wouldn't.... the chance of having an A positive baby being a B type is way too slim (given if she was A- or O- she could still donate). 
> 
> I hoped you liked it, feel free to leave a comment, let me know if you liked it and subscribe if you wish to keep track of the series. 
> 
> See ya for next chapter :)


	4. Good will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Searching for Sophia, Carl as shot by accident and he was taken to a man named Hershel, that had a secluded farm nearby. Having to operate on the boy to save his life, Hershel asked Shane and Ellie to go to a high school overrun by walkers to get some special supplies; and the man that shot Carl, Otis, volunteered to be their guide. In the end, both Shane and Eleanor did whatever they could or whatever was necessary to save Carl’s life…. Decisions that left one rested, the other one nervous…. How will that episode change their lives?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> The characters and original plot belong to the walking dead owners. Eleanor Sherry and what ever plot twist and modifications we may come across are only intended for the use of this fanfiction, and represent no way of profit.
> 
> With that said, please enjoy

 

Eleanor gazed at the grass fields in front of her. She admired how peaceful and quiet it was… how the wind made the leaves in the trees dance contented. She sighed…..  Rick walked beside her and gazed at the coming vehicles.

 

“How is he?” asked Ellie still looking at the green scenery.

“he just woke up, the fever has gone down, he has regained color….” Began Rick while he put a hand on her shoulder “I’ll never be able to thank you for saving his life”

“then don’t remind me, we are friends right? That’s what friends do” Eleanor teased and Rick nodded to the front.

“he asked about you… and if you found Sophia” he said  a little distressed, Eleanor followed his gaze. Beside another large tree, Shane and Hershel’s people were already buring Otis. “I lied to him…. Told him you did, told him you were fine”

Eleanor sighed, and a sad expression creeped it’s way to her face. She wondered sometimes how parents knew if they were doing the right thing. Eleanor reached to her right, a pair of crutches were resting beside her on the bench, and Rick hurried to her side, helping her get up. Hershel suggested that Eleanor wasn’t the first thing Carl saw when he got up, considering that it might put him nervous and Lori accepted, Rick said nothing but now Eleanor understood that there was no way she was going to be close to the little man while she was like this and that teared her inside…. She wanted to see him wake up, she wanted to see his defiant light blue eyes again, smiling at her.

“maybe when he is asleep we can try to sit you beside him, hide the crutches?” Rick suggested in guilt and Eleanor smiled looking at the front

“Don’t push yourself too hard cowboy; I get why you lied to him, but to my humble opinion, you should come clean to him once he seems more settled…… yours aren’t little lies you know” Rick huffed, and shocked his head, fighting a chuckle “and if the little man is as smart and stubborn as his father, he’ll get to the end of it”

“wait…… stubborn?”

“as a mule”  Eleanor walked to the front, watching the RV coming closer to Hershel’s farm… along with Daryl’s bike, and Maggie’s Tukson… and  smiled, she felt it had been a long time since she last saw them and yet… it had only been a day. Lori came out and stood beside Rick, and they went down the stairs when the vehicles parked to the side and the people walked down. One of the first faces Ellie saw was Dale, that asked how was Carl doing.

 

“he pulled through” said an emotional Lori “thanks to Hershel and his people……”

“thanks to Eleanor and Shane too” cut  Rick “without them Carl wouldn’t have survived”

“but how did it happen?” he continued, confused

“ a hunting accident, a stupid accident” said Rick while Dale hugged him.

Lori walked to Carol, that hugged her relieved, and Dale looked at Shane once he parted from Rick, an uncertain face met a nervous and unsettled one, Dale wondered why was he in such baggy clothes, and why he shaved his head like he did, but before he could comment anything, his face turned in pure concern, his gaze fell upon a bandaged Ellie, carrying her crutches on one arm, and holding onto the banister while with her good foot she hopped the stairs to the ground.

“miss! Miss! Stop that!” he said in a concerned face that made Rick turn around and look at Eleanor.

“too late! I’m already in the last step” she said, getting her crutches in her armpits to walk over them, Dale walked to her and gave her a quick hug, of fear he could harm her.

“what happened to you” asked Daryl with a grimace

“it’s too stupid to talk about it in public” joked Ellie, Rick contained a chuckle and Lori gave a stern face, but ended smiling as well……. But with that weird display, Daryl only felt more confused.

 

 

“Blessed be god, father of our lord Jesus Christ….. praise be to him for the gift of our brother Otis” Hershel recited, while one by one, his family would put a large rock over his buried body, it already made a little pile “for his span of years, for his abundance of character, Otis…. Who gave his life to save a child, now more than ever our most precious asset, we thank you god for the peace he enjoys in your embrace….”

Ellie gazed at the small pile and sighed, guilt of her eyes, pain of a loss of a person she didn’t know, that she was angry against, but she didn’t really have enough time to understand or to say thank you to….. she turned to Shane, trying to search for comfort of her own feelings; but she frowned, a more distressed Shane looked also to the pile of rocks, he panted and shacked his head, as if Hershel’s words were not in place.

“Eleanor…. Shane, would any of you pronounce some words in regard of Otis” Hershel offered.

“a-am not good at it…. At this kind of stuff” he said a little shaken and turned to Eleanor, who nodded

“He was brave, he was more brave that I would ever have imagined….. he surprised me;  when I injured my ankle, and Shane was missing,  he protected me, helped me….. and without a second thought….. he offered to search for him; I might not have been in his very last moments but…. What he did, how he selflessly stood up for us, tells me a lot about his character, and that you must always be proud of him” Elle gave Patricia a little smile and she, In between the tears, with her handkerchief covering her mouth, gave back what Eleanor would have tempted to assume was a smile, and a nod. At that moment Eleanor turned to Shane and he looked at her, unsure of what to do; but he turned to the small pile of rocks and took one, and walked to the pile.

“Ellie is right… I was Otis, if wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here…. Or Carl…. He saved us, and if his death had a meaning, it was this” he said, putting the rock in the pile, walking away.

 

 

Eleanor looked at the large oak tree where the rest of the group were setting camp, the chores respectively parted for one another; except for Eleanor…. That given her condition, not only she couldn’t help but  was even offered another guest room on the large house.  She noticed Rick was coming her way, maybe to talk to Hershel, maybe to check on Carl, since the little guy has been alone for the past few hours, given Lori was also doing stuff. She couldn’t help but to sigh again  wondering  how exactly Carol accepted to start the search for Sophia the next morning….. Until she heard footsteps to her right.

“Daryl…” she called, reaching for her crutches and walking to the small balcony, while he stopped walking and looked over at her. She frowned “I thought Rick said we’ll start the search tomorrow…. Will you be okay on your own?”

“I’ll be fine on my own…. I’ll be back before dark” he turned to leave, but Eleanor called again

“be careful out there” she said worried, and Daryl sneered

“look who’s talking” he said leaving.

Eleanor chuckled, getting comfortable on the chair again, until she saw Hershel walk out of the house and looked at Eleanor, sitting beside her. She looked at him a little confused, until he reached to give her a book, not too big but certainly thick, Eleanor frowned and turned to look at the cover… and then wide eyed.

“human anatomy?” she asked

“I guessed you would like a good read so that you wouldn’t get bored” he commented, looking at the front “and the way you stitched you friend’s arm tells me that you know the basics….. just need a little more experience” he smiled to her, and Ellie returned it.

 

“Hershel…” they both turned, Rick was just climbing the stairs of the front door “I wanted to thank you, for taking us in….  and if you needed more space, we could use the barn…” he tempted

“no need for that, better you stay close to the house” he cut, and got up and walked to him “I was waiting for the right moment to tell you this, and since you re both here” he began, giving a look at Eleanor, she put the book aside, confused “We don’t like taking in strangers, and I can’t  have your people thinking this is permanent…. Once you find this girl, or your boy and …. Eleanor are fit to travel again” he said signaling to her “I’ll expect you’ll move on…. We need to be clear on that” he said signaling to Eleanor. Who looked down, and nodded sightly. And then he walked away.

“well that was some weird way to end a conversation” commented Eleanor, while Rick turned to look at her “Daryl just went on his own to search for Sophia you know” she commented.

“yeah… I saw him go” he walked over to Eleanor, and sat to her side. He said nothing else, staring into the open space.

“you knew he was going to say that sooner or later” commented Eleanor suddenly “I know that you want a safe place to stay, but….. we were going to fort benning” Rick nodded looking to the front “Carl’s  been lonely for a while, you don’t know where Lori is?” asked Eleanor concerned,  and Rick turned to look at her.

“She is busy, so no......” he began but then smirked “want to try what I said in the morning” Ellie looked at him, a combination of hope and annoyment.

 

“is he asleep?” whispered Eleanor, Rick walked inside with her, and spot Patricia, that was walking out of the room, checking on Carl

“yes… he just fell asleep an hour ago” she commented and Rick nodded, Eleanor tried to walk to the bed as quiet as she could and Rick extended a chair.

“here… I’ll hide these” he offered taking the crutches and putting them under the bed, at that Ellie couldn’t help but giggle, and Rick smirked

“and what I’m supposed to do if he wakes up….. stay still until he sleeps again” she tempted in a whisper “If Lori walks in….. I won’t see the end of it”

 “your contented face tells me you still don’t care if she does” he teased, Eleanor giggled again and Rick walked of the room.

 

 

Ellie settled herself and gave a contented sigh. She turned to look at Carl and she could tell he regained some color, but looked still pale and tired. Her gaze traveled down to his wrist and she reached with her hand.... touching it; feeling that heart beat, maybe tricking herself into thinking it was stronger. She smiled, and wanted to watch his resting face again before turning for her book... But almost jumped in surprise.

The little man was looking at her, unreadable face. And Eleanor fought the reflex to put her hand on her chest. 

"Good morning there friend..... you scared the hell out of me..." she began with a nervous giggle "I didn't want to wake you.... how are you feeling?"

"I'm better now...... and I wasn't sleeping" he said in a calm tone "Why didn't you come before?...... And what did my dad hide under the bed?" He inquired, and wanted to sit and bend over to look down.... Eleanor got up in a jump and reached to stop him. Her bandaged foot grazed the frame of the bed in the process and she restrained a gasp. Flinching for a moment. 

"Don't move.... your wounds will reopen... " she said and Carl laid down again, but looked expectant at Eleanor, and she sighed defeated... she now understood this was yet her worst idea. "If you behave and don't move I'll tell you what is it?" 

"Are you injured?....." he asked after a pause. And Eleanor sat again sighing "Did that happened to you while looking for Sophia?" But before Eleanor could say anything Carl looked at the front "you didn't find Sophia..... did you?"

'Damn me... this kid is going to be the end of me' Eleanor concluded and sighed 

"First of all, I assure you..... your parents didn't tell you right away because they were worried of how would you react; so don't be mad at them" she began "you are recovering and you need to keep calm...."

After a moment Carl nodded and looked at Eleanor again. He said nothing, but somehow she knew he was expecting her now to answer all of his questions

"Sadly, after you were injured, we couldn't continue the search for Sophia, there were some things we needed to get so that you could be treated, me  and Shane, we both went there... and that's when I twisted my foot. It's not the biggest injury.... I'm actually hoping it will be better by the end of the week" she said. And Carl looked at the front frowning 

"Then what you hid under the bed were... crutches?" he asked and she nodded. 

"your dad told you first that i was fine, so that you wouldn't get restless once you didn't find me here... but since you know, promise me you won't be restless" she said as a joke and Carl smirked. But then his smirk disappeared, and Eleanor swallowed some saliva "Shane was also here, but.... you were sleeping when he came.... he wasn't avoiding you or anything" Carl nodded, and Ellie tapped her knee nervous "they are all setting camp today, so that we can make a search-group tomorrow, but Daryl just went out today to see if he can find anything" she said and Carl nodded again, letting his head rest again on the pillow. Watching him settle down. she let out her breath more at ease, and also got comfortable on her own chair. 

".....mom said I got shot.... and then lost consciousness" Carl commented and Eleanor turned to him 

"a hunter named Otis just happened to be after the stag and didn't see you..... he fired, and the bullet went through and...." said Eleanor, a sudden fear rose in between her again "and it hit you..... you scared me" she confessed "but, it was an accident, that could happen to anyone.... who would have thought that the stag was actually interested in you" teased Eleanor, trying to light up the mood. "what was it like, being so close to him?"

"it was amazing" began Carl with a little smile "i was so close i almost touched him, he knew i was there, but he wasn't moving...... his eyes..... were looking at me" he paused and looked at Eleanor frowning "his horns were a lot different that I imagined them to be" 

Eleanor laughed a little too laud at that statement, and Carl giggled. 

"i bet they aren't..... you are brave and strong buddy.... and I respect that, but don't scare us like that again" she said, stretching her hand and caressing his head. He let her and nodded, with a little smile; that Eleanor couldn't help but copy.... just noticed this was what she was missing that morning.  "so.... it would be nice if you tried to sleep this time for real, while i do some reading" she suggested getting out a book 

"what is that?" he ventured 

"Hershel gave it to me.... he thinks i could improve my medical abilities since I've got the time" she smiled looking at the book; and Carl looked at the cover intrigued, but his eyes were fighting to stay open, Eleanor smiled when they finally closed, and she proceeded to really focus on what she was reading. 

 

 

"So... I'll assume it went okay" Eleanor heard to her right and turned from the book to the door, Rick walked in; she put the book aside, the dim light of the lamp that was beside her..... it was already night. "did Lori came by?"

"Yeah.... she did, but it went better than expected though" commented Eleanor "Carl is doing great.... he's eating well, and he seems to be in higher spirits, at least..... we wish to believe he is" She said, wile caressing Carl's sleeping face. 

Rick walked around the bed, to sit on the other side of it, and gave a sigh, looking at Carl, Eleanor gazed at his tired gaze, she didn't know that moment, but Rick hadn't slept since this whole thing started, unlike her, that could rest at least some hours. 

"you look tired" she began "everything is going smooth  again.... you should rest" Rick smirked, and looked at her. 

"I talked to Hershel this morning.... I asked him to reconsider" he looked at her with a serious face, that Eleanor returned.  "For Carl, i had to try"

"what did he say?" she asked interested 

"he said that.... if we respected his rules, and accepted what he said, he would consider us to stay" Eleanor nodded,  taking the information, even if she couldn't help but wonder what those 'conditions' had to be exactly; now that there was the time to think.... they really knew nothing about their host. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rick gazed at Eleanor and wondered if she was thinking about what he just said. She picked the weirdest moments to go silent, and he wondered if she was asking herself what those conditions were. 

"what do you think about it?" he urged. And instantly regretted it, Eleanor smirked at him; he admired he wasn't the kind to urge people for answers but, he couldn't help it.

"i think it's a good start..... what ever his conditions are" she began, and Rick fought a smirk "I'm wondering what exactly made him change his mind, the time I heard him, he had his opinion already decided"

"I asked him as a father, that Carl needed a safe place to stay and him being a father he would understand.... how hard it is to not fail them" he said serious "the told me his childhood; he had an abusive father.... a drunk man that was never a good example to him...... and that even though he never granted his father any love.... that was something I shouldn't fear Carl denying me" he said the last part with an unbelieving huff.

"he is right..... Carl adores you" she concluded, with a smile; but it disappeared "i never would have guessed our host would have such a jaded life, I  feel more grateful that it didn't got the best of him....... and so you know, you are a good father Rick.... you are a good father and a good man, I believe that is the real thing he saw in you, and that's the reason he granted you that chance" she smiled, and settled down on her chair again. 

 

They both fell silent again, but Rick still looked at Eleanor, and remembered that before that conversation, Hershel took him to the borders of what his farm was, and  how beautifully the wild fields and forest opened before them, how the light painted the green and yellow grass...... he remembered that Hershel told him it made him remember that god existed, and that humans were still at his will. He answered the wasn't, he didn't want to cross god's path again..... that he only brought his family to almost loose it again..... that he asked for a sign to believe that there was an end to  this nightmare, and he got his son shot instead.

Hershel told him that he didn't allow his son to die; but now more clear than ever, he was sure, that it wasn't god that didn't allow Carl to die..... 

A sudden word appeared on his mind, as much as he wanted to deny god's 'good intentions', he wondered what were her intentions, what was her drive, her purpose.... her reward for all of her sacrifice, her constant support, her hopeful smiles. 

"why?" Eleanor turned from her book to him, a blank expression, that changed into a  confused frown "why are you so kind to us..... you risk your life everyday, you've risked your life for us too many times....... i'm so grateful" he said looking down, not being able to convey his feelings better "but... i need to understand"

Eleanor looked at him and smiled,  her smile tempted to turn into a giggle but she resisted, and looked down. 

 

"I wish I knew a simple answer" she began, and Rick looked at her "but it's.... complicated, even for me..... i guess i should start with.... my truth" she said still looking down "the day you found me....the day I refused your help twice; I told you I was already on the move, that I didn't need anyone's help...... I lied" she said looking into the distance "..... I was about to.... kill myself"

Eleanor looked at him, there was no longer a smile on her face, there was a torn face, full or regret. Rick couldn't hide his surprise; he wanted to say something, but Eleanor looked down and continued....

"the first day I came to your camp Shane asked me why i decided to come with you if I was doing so great on my own...... truth is, I was doing great.... for five months i survived on my own.... alone..... i got tired of being alone"  she gave a tired smirk, a regretful face "I was tired of trying, i was tired of surviving, I couldn't find a meaning for it..... until you reached that radio signal" she turned to look at Rick "until you insisted on coming for me.... until you walked into the city and almost got us both killed" she giggled again "at first... I decided I would help you in anyway I could.... out of gratitude.... for me, that was enough, i felt i had a drive again.... if small, it was something"

She paused again and turned to look at Carl "and then I met him....." she extended her hand and caressed his head again "the way he looked at you... It reminded me of the way i used to look at my own dad... that was the little extra I needed... if I ever doubted I was doing the right thing"

Another pause was made, and Rick wasn't looking at Eleanor anymore; he was looking at his hands..... they were shaking. A sudden rush passed through his body, as if his brain denied the sudden amount of information and ordered him to get up and run, run away. He was overwhelmed, it that was the right word to describe it.... by the answer he got to his question; he felt glad, and he felt sorry. He was happy and mad, all at the same time. He was confused, he denied to understand, he couldn't.... he was lost.

"I guess you could say you were my knight in distress with a heart of gold" she commented. 

Rick snorted, and smirked, he turned to Eleanor that was fighting a smile. There she went again, trying to lighten up the mood in the weirdest way possible. 

"then I guess you could say you are the damsel in shining armor, with a heart of gold" he answered 

"and a twisted ankle" she added, and they both snorted again. A knock was heard and on the door frame, stood Patricia that asked for Eleanor, so she could change her bandage and check on her ankle. Eleanor complied and left the room. 

 

Rick looked at the door frame a moment, rubbing his temple. His emotions settling, but his mind still making circles around the thought of Eleanor. Until a stir stopped him, he looked to the side. 

"Hey dad" said Carl looking at him

"hey" Rick managed to say, and Carl kept looking at him, he cleared his throat and vended over "Carl... I told you something earlier today about.... Sophia and..."

"I know.... Ellie told me" Carl cut his dad short. Rick huffed "I, was awake when you helped her sat on the chair" he confessed, and Rick smirked, he had to remind himself to not disregard the young woman's guesses "she told me it was because you and mom.... you didn't want  me to get worried" 

"that's about right..... I know it's an stupid excuse but.... it's all I've got" said Rick

"it' okay" began Carl, with a little smile "do you think we'll find her?"

"I know we will....." said Rick, maybe too fast "well..... *sigh* i don't know, but i truly believe it

"you look tired" commented Carl, and Rick couldn't help but smirk "Hey, i'm like you now..... we've both been shot..... Isn't that weird?" said a sudden animated Carl. 

Rick snorted, and looked down. / _it reminded me of the way i used to look at my own dad_ /

"Yeah, I think your mother would rather hear we got the same eyes.... So let's keep that between us" he said and Carl giggled, that made Rick smile, and an idea popped in his mind "since you're in the club now, you get to wear the hat.... didn't you know?" Carl smirked and he put his hat on his son's head, it was too big and Carl snorted "We'll pad the rim tomorrow so it sits better"

"Won't you miss it?" 

"Maybe you'll let me borrow it from time to time"

"we can share it" Said Carl with a nod "I love you dad" he ended, and Rick gave him a smile

"i love you" Carl put the hat over his head, as if covering him from the light and drifted of to sleep. 

 

Rick looked up and noticed that Eleanor had already returned, she spied on them from the frame of the door..... he couldn't see her face completely but, he could bet she was fighting to not squeal. He smirked and got up, walking tot he door. 

"too cute.... he's to cute" she said  in a whisper, and turned to Rick smiling....

But he didn't answer her smile, instead, he gave her a serious look.... and pulled her in a hug, that Eleanor couldn't answer, since she was trapped by her crutches. Rick let go, and before she could ask him anything, he kissed her forehead.

"i finally get it.... why you are here..... I can't believe in god...... but i believe in you"

They parted, and Rick found a confused Eleanor, a confused gaze that turned into gratitude, happiness, sadness, she looked like she was about to cry, but giggle instead; she leaned in and rested her head in his chest. And Rick patted her back. He accepted it, he accepted destiny.... if whatever power beyond him put her in his way, he was grateful for it.... and bowed to protect her no matter what......

 

 

Eleanor never felt so relieved that night, so free..... a load being lifted, a painful secret being shared with someone else.... How ever, at the same time.... int he cold night, far from the house, far from the camp, a single soul stood lost.... and trapped......

Another painful secret had just been created. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dearest.... I let myself go with the emotions on this one XD.....  
> I hope you are following the actual story, I haven't really described a lot about the episode, but it was the relationship between Rick/Ellie and Ellie/Carl that i wanted to explore on..... and we all know what is coming.... unavoidable angst along the way.
> 
> Sorry this took longer than the rest of the chapters, I did took me a while to decide what to exclude of this chapter. 
> 
> I'm always open for comments, tell me if you like it so far.


	5. Painful secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl finally has escaped death, after being shot by Otis, a man that lived in a secluded farm, whose owner was Hershel, a veterinarian. Now, the group is reunited and steadily began to search for Sophia again, but the days passed on and she was nowhere to be found, and when things go slower, and you have more time on your hands, your mind begins to notice things it shouldn't have.

 

Eleanor looked at the rising sun as she walked out of her tent. She breathed in the cold air of the arriving autumn, and wondered how were they going to work out sleeping in tents for the winter. She frowned a little stressed and turned around, trying to occupy her mind with something else and looked at the hen house, and walked over there. 

 

“big buddy, how are you doing today?” said Eleanor stepping in, she found Carl feeding some chickens while Lori was looking at him, sitting next to a wall. “Good morning Lori”

“Morning” she said with a quiet voice..... Eleanor frowned, she wasn't sure why the woman was still on edge. She could feel a sudden tightness on her stomach, and wanted to forget what just crossed her mind. 

Searching for a way of distraction, she walked over to Carl, watching the little chicks gather around him... and picked one; while the others ran away scared, the little one that was on her hands wasn't scared, and that made Eleanor smile a the little bird, and she caressed his back with her finger. She looked up and noticed that Carl was looking at her, and at the bird. She offered the little bird in her hands, and Carl looked reluctant at first.... but raised one of his hands and traced the bird's back with his fingers. 

“The mother is gone… they won’t survive on their own” he said suddenly, Ellie turned to him, with a troubled face, and took a breath.

“Hmmm..... they can still survive you know…. They have good people here that protect them...... It’s Patricia and Beth’s duty if the mother is gone right?”

“Because they were the ones that took her away” added Carl, and Eleanor fought the urge to frown, instead; she had a serious face..... it was happening, she was not surprised, he was smart... and he was beginning to understand. She looked up and noticed that Lori stood up, nervous, afraid. 

"You could say that..... but you could also say that you want to protect them…. Because they deserve a chance to survive….” She looked at Carl, dark brow eyes found icy blue ones, and she grinned. He didn't answer her smile, but hold her gaze, and after a moment, he looked down and caressed the little bird again.

 

Eleanor looked up and saw that Lori walked away, she frowned again. She was expecting her to say something, raise her voice..... get mad, even. She couldn't catch if she was relieved or her nerves got the best of her, and Eleanor couldn't help but sigh.... instinctively, she caressed Carl's head with her free hand, he didn't look at her, but a small smile appeared on his face. 

"Are you going to search for Sophia today?" he asked

"Yeah..... you promise me you'll stay and be nice.... no wandering off" tempted Eleanor, letting the little chicken on the ground again and Carl looked at her, she smirked and Carl grinned. 

 

It had already been a week since Carl was shot, since they arrived at Hershel's farm. She could walk freely since the day before yesterday, and today was the first day that Carl was out of the house. They have had a steady life in the farm, finding Sophia was again the priority of the group, even if after a week, chances were getting slim. It was a small forest and a 12 year old... not an adult; Eleanor knew there was a limit to their search and the thought of people getting bored, actually scared her..... maybe that was the reason Lori was stressed.

But she knew better, Lori was stressed by other things..... she had an idea, but she didn't want to make sure. Eleanor frowned and sighed as her head seemed like too much of a mad house lately….. Overthinking was never good for anyone…. Mistakes were made when you thought too much of something, make it bigger than it really was.  

 

 

 

 

“how are you feeling kid” Trying to occupy her mind, Eleanor walked to a truck where Shane, Rick, and Jimmy were. She smiled to the one that asked. 

“Morning Shane...... I'm feeling pretty good, ready for anything actually” she said turning to Rick, who nodded.

“That’s good to hear…. Have you got anything to eat?” asked Shane again and Eleanor shrugged, and he turned to Glenn that was talking with Lori not too far away “hey! Peach man!”  

“The creek flows south, past that farm house Daryl found, maybe Sophia brought it there, the current brought it downstream……” began Rick

“so what…. You think she took this road here and then she went north?” asked Shane not convinced

“yeah…. What’s up that way?” asked Rick

“A housing development, it went in maybe….. 10 years ago”

“We could make a run up there after gun practice” added Rick, and Eleanor frowned and shock her head

“houses…. Are always nest to walkers, Sophia wouldn’t go that way……  ” said Ellie unsure.

“we have to try, Sophia could be hungry and tired by now, she might think a house would be a good idea” Eleanor accepted and Shane nodded “Shane.... take back up with you, after what wet down with Daryl, I don’t want anyone going out alone, we stay in pairs”

“Well I’ll take suggestions on a partner” Shane said, looking back at Eleanor and she froze “we made a good team last time….. you are up for it?” he teased with a smirk, that Ellie couldn’t answer back. Just at that moment, Glenn came by with a basket full of peaches.

 

“Thank you Glenn” said Eleanor taking a peach and cleaning it with her hands, nervous….. Shane’s question still waiting for an answer….

“Y-yeah….. It would be nice to not get too rusty on the fire arms….. but, that depends on how other people are also invested…  if everything turns out alright at the shooting practice and we have good shots…. We could rise up the bet and teach them about stealth mode” she joked and Shane snickered.

“you instructed before?” asked Rick, a little doubting.

“My dad did... he teached me, and I would help him sometimes…. “ she mentioned casually “mostly when he instructed women and children…. A teen always gives a good vibe you know” she said and snickered. 

 

Then came a weird silence, Shane looked past Ellie and she turned around, Rick doing the same, noticing Glenn just stood there, looking at them…… like wanting to say something. He then turned to Lori that was  walking away from the camp, and back to them, and Ellie frowned confused.

“My binoculars” urged Shane and Glenn hurried to give them to him, and with a quick ‘okay… bye’ he walked away.

“I’m lost…… what was all that?” asked Eleanor confused

“just Glenn….. being Glenn I guess” said Shane with a snicker and Rick raised his eyebrow…. Not convinced, but what really caught Eleanor’s attention was two of the actual three daughters of Hershel…. Patricia and Beth, youngest one and actually married to Jimmy, walking their way, a little hesitant.

“we wanted to join you on gun training today” Beth spoke

“Hershel's been very clear” cut Rick, and Eleanor looked down troubled…. She walked away from the truck and sat on a side of the RV, speaking for the shadow of the trees…. Only then she sighed.

 

*******Flashback********

“He says he found a snake on the walk…. Made Hershel’s horse nervous and it escaped, he fell down the creek…. An arrow got on Daryl's side. He had a hard time returning on his own…. the way to the hill was muddy and slippery “ said Eleanor worried, Lori, sat on the floor looked at her “Shane says he found the doll of Sophia, that’s a start, now we know that she must have roamed around that area” Lori looked down and nodded. At that moment, Rick and Shane came out.

“how is Daryl?” asked Eleanor

“he’ll be alright” said Rick, while Lori walked to him “the wound on his head was superficial, but he had to use our stock on antibiotics for the one on his side” Eleanor nodded worried, that only meant Glenn and Maggie had to go to town again.

“I hate to be that guy, but I’m with Hershel on this one” began Shane “we can’t keep going out there, not after this”

“you’ll quit now?.... Daryl just risked his life to bring back the first hard evidence we’ve had”

“that is one way to look at it…. The way I see it, Daryl almost died today for a doll” answered Shane, that only served to spike Ricks anger. 

 

“yeah I know how you see it…” said Rick going away. Eleanor looked back at Lori and Shane, she grabbed her crutches and walked over to Rick, but now without catching something of the exchange between Shane and Lori, the only thing she could really make out off it was the nervous proximity, the wary tones and the tension….

*******End of Flashback********

 

 

The whole incident with Daryl put Hershel’s odds against them…. Again, and Shane’s clear opinion on the search for Sophia always left her on edge…. They resisted a couple more of days without incidents, without Rick and Shane discussing that topic again...... but she wasn’t sure how long would it take until it happened, until not only Shane but, everyone else thought that the whole search was pointless…. 

 

“you don’t need to worry so much either” she looked up, and Carl was standing in front of her, she took a breath and smiled.

“Hey there…. everything okay?” she asked, and Carl hesitated, looking down, but then looked back up, with a sudden determination. 

“I want to learn how to shoot too”

“yeah…… you would have to ask your parents that… not me” said Eleanor with a playful smirk, that transformed into a serious frown “this needs a big talk actually, and both…. Lori and Rick to consent, and I can’t lie to you…. I see that difficult”

“you can talk to them…. They’ll hear you” he argued back. Eleanor frowned, not completely sure if she should accept, and her reaction left Carl nervous, he unconsciously tugged the right side of his shirt, and Eleanor noticed something underneath it. She looked up serious and extended her hand. Carl stood there for a moment unsure, but eventually lifted his shirt, showing a small revolver, resting on his belt. He slowly pulled the gun and handed it over to Eleanor who..... in a fast move, gut up and took the weapon away from his little hands. The sharp motion made Carl flinch and he looked up..... meeting a combination of anger and hurt.

"I.... I'm sorry" he tempted to whisper. 

"I know..." she whispered back, before turning away from him, going to Rick again. 

 

 

 

“How the hell did this happen?” asked a fuming Lori, Rick, Dale, Shane and Eleanor were looking at her. “who gave him this?” she asked, her furious stare went from Eleanor to Shane, and back to Eleanor.

“Well…. it is my fault…. I let him into the RV” began Dale, and Lori turned to him “he said he wanted a walkie, that you sent him for one”

“So on top of everything else, he lied!”

“Maybe we should see this from a different approach….” Tempted Eleanor “he asked me to teach him how to use one…. He feels that he should know how to use it and, to be completely frank with you, I don’t think that’s a bad thing” Lori turned to her at disbelieve “he needs to learn….. he’ll eventually have to learn; but …. You have to be the ones to decide”

“deciding?...... we are not deciding anything!” but Rick stood quiet, looking at Eleanor and back at Shane, who seemed to be on Eleanor’s side by the way he stayed quiet.

“you can’t make me look like the unreasonable here Rick!” said Lori, Rick was considering it himself.

“I have my concerns too…. but-“

“but!? There is no ‘but’ in this, he was just shot! He’s just back on his feet and he wants a gun….. I don’t want my kid walking around with a weapon”

“He doesn’t have to”  began Eleanor again, and Lori turned to her “ my father teached me when I was 15…. And the fact that I knew how to use one only served me to know how useful, and dangerous they can be…. I learned to respect the weapon; and with the guns we have in camp…. It might just be what he needs to know”

“Elle…. I, I know that…. Everything you and Rick are saying makes perfect sense…. But this just doesn’t feel right to me” she said worried “I should have followed my gut when I let Carl follow you into the woods, and I’m not making that mistake again”

“He’s growing up… thank god. We need to start treating him more like an adult” argued Rick

“He needs to act like one! He’s not mature enough to handle a gun”

“I’m not gonna play with it, Mom” Carl got up and walked to them “It’s not a toy…. And I’m sorry I disappointed you, but I want to handle myself, I want to look for Sophia, and defend our camp… I” but he stopped, and looked over to Eleanor, who was gazing at him, and he looked down unsure; but took a breath and regained his determination “I can’t do that without a gun”

“Shane has instructed kids younger than Carl” began Rick “And Eleanor will keep an eye out for him”

“I’ll stay by his side” she completed, and after some time, Lori walked over her son and grabbed his chin with one hand.

“You will take this seriously, and you will behave responsibly…. And if hear from Eleanor or anyone in this camp that you are not living up to our expectations—“

“He won’t let you down” cut Rick, and Carl nodded.

They walked to the vehicles, while Rick gave instructions to Carl, he glanced to Eleanor from time to time, but this one had her face up front, still a combination of mad and hurt.

 

 

Eleanor looked at Carl, he had exactly the small revolver she found in him, it was small enough for him. He pointed to the front and stood still, but after some moments his grip gave away, and he huffed. He half turned, like searching for someone, and Eleanor searched for Rick and Shane that were on the other side with Andrea…. Who proved to be a prodigy. She grimaced, considering that Rick might not return in a while, and turned to look at Carl again; nervous blue eyes turned around as fast as they could, and lifted the gun again. Eleanor couldn’t help but smirk, now realizing that Rick was not what Carl was searching for… and then she remembered that their last exchange wasn’t the best one…. She felt guilty.

She got up and walked to him, kneeling to his right, Carl looked to his side unsure. And Eleanor smiled.

“You are doing okay…. Your stance is okay….. It’s not too heavy, is it?” she asked

“No… it’s okay” he said in a whisper

“Keep it steady, center the scope with the barrel of the gun…. And take your time” she said, as she reached to his ear whispering “if you nail it, I’ll forgive you about earlier”

Carl turned suddenly to look at her, surprised. Eleanor gave him a playful smirk as she sat, behind him, and Carl aimed….. Just as Rick and Shane were walking to them, the sound of breaking glass caught their attention. Eleanor was clapping while Carl smiled to them.

 

The practice time was out. And they all returned to the camp, except Andrea and Shane, that stayed behind for her advanced lessons, assuming that he would also take her to the run in the houses to instruct her to kill walkers, Eleanor could breathe and walk back to the camp. She didn’t want to be near Shane for the moment, she didn’t want to think about that topic again.

“You did excellent today, just wait until  I tell your mom” said an animated Rick, while hopped in between him and Eleanor.

“He’s a natural…. Better than me when I was 15 actually” she pumped Carl’s ego, and he smirked at the front delighted.

 “Ellie offered to teach me to use knifes too” he said suddenly and Rick turned to Ellie with an devilish smirk.

“But I did say when you were older…. Didn’t I, and your Mom needs to say she’s okay…… no convincing involved” she teased and Rick snorted….. “Speaking of the devil” she added; arriving at camp, Lori was expecting them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After greeting Eleanor and Carl, Lori asked if he did alright, and rested easy after the reassured praises of both, Eleanor and Rick….. That left Rick at ease, while he saw his son walk away with Eleanor.

He grabbed the bag of guns and began putting every single one inside, thanks to Eleanor’s suggestion, an inventory was made before and after practice, necessary so that no more guns would go missing. He was closing the bag when Lori spoke.

“Hershel expects us to leave?” she asked, and Rick stopped, looking at her “Does anybody else know?”

“Not yet….. He told me and….. Eleanor” he said reluctantly, and as expected, Lori looked away.

“Were you gonna tell me?”

“Of course—“

“When?..... How long have you known” she urged.  

“Not long… You don’t need to worry about this” he ended, that made things even worse…. He should know

“How can you expect me not to worry? We have shelter here, and food and water and medical care….”

“I’ve been talking with Hershel. It’s not carved in stone” but she denied the fact, and Rick nodded, things were getting difficult, as more days passed, the whole group was getting more and more comfortable, and apart from finding Sophia, there were no more real excuses to find a reason to stay “ I know, I’m working on it”

“Maybe I can talk to him, too… and plead our case” but Rick stopped her

“No, things are uneasy. The best thing right now is to give Hershel some space” But Lori looked at back at him, not believing what he said, what he was saying, like he was doing nothing…. It annoyed him, he couldn’t deny it. “don’t look at me like that”

“Like what?” said Lori looking down, even if she played innocent, he knew she noticed.

“Like you’re scared. Like you don’t trust me, I can take it from everyone else, but not from you”

“I can’t understand how you kept something like this from me” Rick looked to the side, returning to the old dilemma “Carl’s barely on his feet. And Sophia’s missing…, Daryl and T-Dog are hurt…. How can we leave?”

“It’s not what I want either, but if we have to go… I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that you and Carl are okay. We’ll get by, we will” he said, caressing her cheek, looking in her brown eyes. Lori ended up nodding, a little more sure of his words. But he couldn’t deny he was unsure, he didn’t want to leave…. He had to do something.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was night, and Eleanor walked to the side of the camp, she was supposed to stand watch that night, even if Dale told her that there was no need in that secured environment, she knew better…. She knew they didn’t have this place for granted, and she hated herself for not saying anything, but Hershel hasn’t said anything definitive yet….. they still had time.

 

“If you wanted to take the first shift you should have told me” she said Sitting beside Rick, she gave him a playful smile, but looking at his troubled face….. it disappeared. “Something wrong?...... did you have a fight with Lori?” she asked and instantly regretted it, letting the thought that she tried so hard to ignore slip at that moment….. Rick snorted with a defeated face, but scorn was on his eyes.

 

“Why asking? Aren’t you certain” he said in spite as Ellie frowned confused “want to make one of your amazing guesses? What did we fight about…. Oh wait, maybe you already know” he said clutching his teeth, Ellie stared at him in confusion.

 

“Frankly speaking I’m so confused that I don’t even know if I should feel annoyed or worried” she said “should I know?”

 

“You can’t tell lies right? You tell me” he said looking at the front, as Ellie gave him a sad worried face, as rick looked at her expectant.

 

“First of all…. Carl found his way out to make me promise to not hide anything he asked me” she said looking at the front “I could say I was close to livid when I found him hiding the gun from me”

 

“So you know how it feels” said rick smirking to the front “guess he learned that from his mother”

 

“fine, Lori kept something from you… I’m seriously clueless so unless you tell me what-“began Ellie but Rick cut her midway

 

“Lori is pregnant” he began “she got Glenn to find abortion pills” he said later, as Ellie turned to him in panic “ I found the cases empty and confronted her, she threw them up”

 

“Woah okay, Rick …… slows down” said Ellie kneeling in front of him, concerned “since when?”

 

“’does it matter’ that’s what she said…” he said hurt “that she would tell me eventually, that she threw them up so it was okay… she….” He said still hurt waving at the front “that she didn’t want that on my conscience” he said still with a glare. Ellie looked down, maybe for the first time, not sure what to say about it.

 

“We didn’t have pregnancy tests before” began Ellie “and Glenn went to the pharmacy twice… so she knew a week ago?....... maybe she panicked, I don’ really believe she was planning to get pregnant” she tempted, but Rick still looked to the front.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Those are things really difficult to talk about, and with Carl recovering, us searching for Sophia, maybe….. She couldn’t find the right moment to tell you…”

 

“She said that….. She said, that because Hershel wanted us gone, she preferred to…” but he stopped, he was still hurt, he couldn’t end that phrase “Eleanor, she…. Before all of this we constantly fought, about how I would not talk about stuff, how I didn’t share with her how I felt!?” he said in anger raising his voice “that I kept secrets from her and this! “He says in a whisper “she’s keeping this from me!?”

 

“well I think you might not be so prone to  talk but your face is really expressive” said Eleanor looking at the front, trying to think about it, Rick looked at her confused “everyone is different, you can’t really expect that everyone is going to tell you how they feel right from the start…. That’s something you search for…. Patiently; b-but that doesn’t mean you can’t come clean now right?… you should get past the mistake and be honest with yourselves again” said Ellie uncertain.

 

Rick looked at the young woman, and restrained a smirk; she was barely and adult…. She had no boyfriend, what would she know about married life and relationships…. And yet, he still felt he could tell her what he felt…. Why her?

 

“…She told me she and Shane…” But he wasn’t sure how to end that sentence. He looked at Ellie, she froze, she gave him an emotionless face, she then looked at the front, looking into space, as if she didn’t heard a thing….. and for a moment Rick couldn’t help but question….. Sparks of anger were rising between him “did you know?” he tempted.

 

“I just got my…… suspicions confirmed, so no?...... I-I’m really not sure” she said confused, frowning “I’m sorry” she turned to him with an apologetic face “she must have felt really alone, and lost and…. Thinking that you died….”

 

“That’s what she said” said rick discouraged “It’s not that what hurts me…. It’s the fact that, if she could, she would have hidden it from me forever” said Rick hurt “It’s not like I wanted to keep secrets from her…but  this, the baby…. I don’t know what to do or think anymore”

 

Eleanor looked at the front, and took a deep breath, and looked back at Rick, a small smile on her face, she touched his forearm that rested on his knees.

 

“what you need is to hear something, something that is more important that any of that” she began “you are having a baby, you… are going to be father again; and right now, nothing else should matter but that. You can circle around the mistakes you have made and the things that weren’t said but nothing is going to change them, it’s the past….. It’s already behind you. Your baby, is your future, it is in front of you” she had a serious gaze “your future is the most important….. You are not alone on this; we’ll sort it out…. We’ll convince Hershel… and if he doesn’t let us stay….. We’ll find a way, things will work out. A baby is always something good, is new life; and that is always good”

 

Rick took a moment, before a snort found its way out. It was weird hearing those words said to him… the exact same hope he tried to convey onto Lori, who only looked at him scared, unsure, and guilty. He suddenly felt so old, and wondered how young people always found a way to keep going on, to not drown in problems….. But then, maybe it was not the fact that young people were like that, maybe it was the fact it was her… that always tried to look forward. He wondered; will she ever notice how different and strong she was.

“And so you know…. I can tell how much you love your wife” she began again “you love Lori above anything else…. But with the incident of Carl, and everything else, of course things are going to get complicated, but I trust you are stronger than that cowboy” she smirked at him, and he smiled. “So…. Why don’t you go rest, while I take back my shift” she joked and he snickered

 

“Fine….. I’ll go rest” he said standing up, he looked down at the young woman that looked up at him “thank you”

 

“Don’t eat your brains out Grimes, problems tend to look bigger when we overthink about them” she said looking at the front.

 

 

Rick walked away to his tent, but stopped, and turned to look at the silhouette of the young woman that looked into the horizon.

‘I love Lori…. above anything else’ he repeated that phrase in his mind, he had trouble picturing it. The thought things were thin before he was in the coma but this was just ridiculous. Eleanor…..   He wondered how on earth could she know her way to make him talk, laugh, scream, and understand….. He almost thought it was a bad joke, for someone her age. He turned around and was about to continue walking… when a thought crossed his mind, and he rubbed his eyes and sighed frustrated.

“Rick Grimes… what the hell are you thinking” he said, as he went to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!...... ah… I could’t help to start messing with the timeline in this episode; but seriously…. A 12 year old is shot, verge of dying and he is walking around two days after? I needed something that made more sense, at least a week before they can attempt to not reopen his wound, and there was internal bleeding too. (Okay moving on…. Every time I think about it I get mad) I hope you liked the modifications I made, my logic couldn’t go by with this weird plot choices. As always any thought about it or commentary are welcome on the comments section. I hope you liked it, see you all soon.
> 
>  
> 
> PS: Funny fact, Lori could have taken the ‘after tomorrow’ pill and it would have done nothing either way. It is an hormonal cocktail (mainly progesterone) that, as the name says, can revert the hormonal profile and prevent the fertilized egg to actually reach the uterus and develop, so it can only work up to 120 hours after intercourse in best of cases…. Even without choosing my week timeline, it would have done nothing… Lori was pregnant from long ago (even had sex with Rick at least a week before taking the pill…. Assuming he is the father)


	6. The last straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days gone by, the group was still on their search for Sophia; with Daryl still recovering of his accident, and Eleanor and Rick worrying over the way to convince Hershel for the group to stay in the farm even after they find the little girl..... no one would ever ask for more problems.
> 
> But problems tend to invite themselves in.

 

“you can’t tell me you are alright with this” Shane howled, pacing from side to side, in front of the barn. The whole group looked at the almost forgotten wooden construction with a much carved down fear

“no, I’m not… but we’re guests here. This isn’t our land” argued Rick

“God, this is our lives!?”

“lower your voice!” cut Eleanor frustrated, she was also annoyed, she didn’t like this either “It has been a week Shane, a whole week and we didn’t even know….  They are far away from the house, and making a scene about this can cost us our way out of here…  for good!”

“but we can’t just sweep this under the rug!” said Andrea, and Eleanor breathed in again, Shane used that opportunity to fuel people’s fear again, saying their lives were at stake.

“think if over Shane... What do you prefer? A dozen of walkers trapped in a barn or thousands of free ones on the road!” said Ellie exasperated.

“At least I don’t have to been near them 24/7, knowing they are beside me!..... we’ve got to make this right, we deal with it or we go….. we hit fort Benning”

“we are not leaving” stated Rick, his  constant calm and collected tone suddenly changed to menacing in a matter of seconds, and Eleanor turned to him. He gave her a serious face.

“why Rick? Why?”  urged Shane, confused….. Eleanor knew now too well why.

“Because my daughter is still out there” Cut Carol, taken back that nobody has given a thought to Sophia. Like if they could hit the road that easily

“okay…. I, I think it’s time we all start to just…. Consider the other possibility” said Shane rubbing his face, saying exactly what Eleanor would expect to put everyone on edge again and she even wondered what did he gain getting everyone nervous…… she hated it.

“Shane! We’re not leaving Sophia behind” she answered back

“I’m close to finding this girl! We just found that damn doll!” Daryl stepped in, he also was losing his patience

“a doll Daryl! A doll!... what a great discovery”

“hey you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” Daryl walked in front, ready to turn the fight into a physical one, but Eleanor ran in between the two men, raising her arms to stop them.

“okay that’s it!?” she raised her voice “We are not moving without her! We are not taking down those walkers either!?” she pointed to Shane.

“have you gone out of your mind!” He shouted, a menacing tone in his voice, that….. if Eleanor wasn’t so fueled into the argument, she would have shivered.

“he must have a good reason to keep them there! he’s done this for who knows how long and nothing has happened for god sake!” she tried to reason this out….. they could still play their cards right….

“Eleanor might be right…. He sees those things as people…. Sick people, his wife, his family are inside” Dale finally stepped in, in a  wary tone.

“you knew!?...... and you waited to tell us until now!” Shane turned his anger towards him.

“I found out yesterday night, Glenn told me, and he wanted to be the one to tell you this morning…. So I waited….. and by the looks of it we survived one more night just fine!”

“we can’t take them all out just like that….. we have to talk to him” Eleanor began again.

“you don’t know what you are talking about”  said Shane, his voice lowering, huffing to the side, shaking his head, not believing her.

“like hell I don’t!” she snapped, and Shane turned to look at her frowning “He has people he loves in there and we can’t just put them out!…… we won’t;  now step away from the barn” she said, when the door began moving and some backed away scared “your screaming woke them up”

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carl walked around the camp,  he searched for someone…. Once his eyes landed on the one he was searching, he walked over to her. Eleanor was standing there, using Shane’s binoculars, looking at the barn from afar. He stood beside her and studied her gaze…. She was so worried lately, just like his mother. She wasn’t joking or laughing like before, and he didn’t like it.

A long, defeated sigh alerted him, and he tugged his shirt nervous. Eleanor almost jumped when she found Carl next to her, she gave him a small smile, but it was a shadow of what he has seen before.

“Hey” she whispered

“Hey” he answered, looking at the barn, he didn’t need to see it with detail, he could still remember the howling of those things, the banging on the wooden door…. He could remember them walking around the cars on the highway, how they attacked Sophia.

“Why won’t you be on Shane’s side? We should kill them all” they should, they were dangerous. “They could attack us”

“They won’t attack us, unless we provoke them….. Unless we open those barred doors; it’s not up to us to decide their fate….. it’s not our barn”

“but you said that you could talk to Hershel…. He should understand…. They are not people” Eleanor, who at the moment was looking at the horizon, turned to him with a sad face, and kneeled, to reach his eye level. He waited for her answer, she at least, told him the truth, even if it was too hard to hear…. And he was somehow glad for it.

“yes… they are not alive, but they are people that mattered to Hershel…. Just like Amy, it’s not just as simple as to kill them off…… he has kept them there for a reason, maybe he is not ready to say good bye” she wondered, and Carl couldn’t help but to wonder as well…. he died to ask her, why she said she knew how that felt, who was the one she lost like Amy, and if she had to kill them too…..  But before he could, he heard his mother going to them, and Eleanor smiled and walked away, with a little pat on his head.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Eleanor trotted to Rick, which was reaching Hershel’s house. At the sight of Eleanor he stopped and waited for her.

“Hey… I thought you were going out looking for Sophia….”

“Yeah, I’m going with Andrea, but I wanted to talk to Hershel first….. Eleanor we can’t leave, I know but, we have to find a solution to that barn” he said concerned

“Here’s what I think….. Why don’t you let me talk to him. Shane made his point already and I bet you are worried about the barn, but every time you promise that man that you are going to listen to him and obey his dispositions…. Something happens and we do exactly the opposite. We need to…. Have some thought for our guest….  To be diplomatic, I’m going to be diplomatic Okay?” Rick looked to the side unsure “My priority is to stay…. Just like yours” Eleanor reacted fast, and Rick turned to her, put a hand on her shoulder and nodded, he walked away…

 

Eleanor took a breath and walked over to the door. Knocking, she heard the faint voice of Hershel and she opened the door. She slowly walked into the hall and looked around, Hershel was just finishing eating and he looked at her, motioning her to advance with his hand. She walked to the diner room.

“How are you child” he asked

“I’m perfect, thanks to your and Patricia’s care, I’m grateful…. Thank you” she said with a smile. But this one disappeared when she sat “I actually came to talk you about…”

“It’s amusing that Rick, who I believed to be the leader of your group, didn’t come to talk to me and sent you instead” he smirked

“I volunteered to do so….” She began “he’s not exactly a leader… we function as a whole group and we prefer democracy, though I admit that sometimes it’s for the worst…. But right now. Maybe it’s just needed, I’m really sorry about the guns, the horse, and of course, the barn….. thought that the last one was one of the reasons you are not prone of people taking in….walkers are, and might always be a strong source of terror, that we prefer to regard as something to eliminate, or keep as far as possible…”

“you are a smart girl, and since you get it…. I guess leaving will not be such a hard job now will it? You can convince your own of the same” he concluded, but Eleanor looked down.

“The issue is….. We can’t, I don’t want us to leave…. Life has become too dangerous to bear, and a secure place is…”

“I heard Fort Benning once, that’s where you were headed first…. You are already on good health and that boy too; you just have to keep moving”

“…..we might not reach Fort Benning in less than five months…. And given Rick’s wife sudden condition, we can’t take the chance” she looked at Hershel, with an unsure face, this one looked back at her, at first about to ask what this new ‘condition’ was about, but he understood the subtlety and gave a sigh

“Are you certain” he asked and Eleanor nodded “I still don’t see how that is my responsibility”

“The people in the barn, Dale told me they were family, loved ones, that you didn’t want to kill because they were sick….. And I understand that you are hopeful of a cure to that virus, that they can be helped, but ….”

“But is easier to kill them still” ended Hershel for her, with a little scorn on his tone

“I excuse myself for contradicting you, but killing them is anything but easy” Eleanor frowned at him, but took a breath “for me the outbreak was something fast, even if we weren’t in the biggest of cities, maybe it was one of first ones it attacked…. My mother and I, we tried to survive the first month together, but she got bitten… she got infected” a profound void appeared on her gaze “she had this strong fever, this pain, she was so pale…… she was agonizing, she asked me to end her suffering more than once; but I couldn’t…. and I saw her die  in pain; she died” said Eleanor with a hard stare, looking at Hershel “her heart stopped beating, her body went cold….. and with her body still cold, with heart still move-less…. She breathed” she frowned, looking at the front confused “up until that moment, I didn’t really have to think about killing walkers, we were so damn lucky that the only times I killed something was when hunting…. But then, she was there, crawling, grunting at me…, I called her name more than once…. And she didn’t recognize me; i fired more than once…. And she didn’t flinch, it was not her…. Not anymore”

A short silence was made and Eleanor didn’t look at Hershel, that was looking at the front, uncertain, he didn’t want to accept…

“For some time, I lost myself; until I found Rick,  until I joined his group…. I have to admit, I’m scared….. I’m scared that if one of them ever goes infected I….” she said with a glare “I don’t know if I would have the nerve to kill them, not again… not like my mother; that’s why I tell you to let us stay…. To give us a chance to survive, to keep our share, to help each other” she turned to him hopeful.

Hershel was looking at her with an uncertain face, maybe half of her story was already a blur to him….. Eleanor wasn’t sure if he was interested, if he listened, even if he cared. He sighed troubled and looked down, he took a breath and prepared to speak, but stopped himself and Eleanor swallowed some saliva, nervous…. Expectant.

“If you really want to stay, there are certain things we have to get clear” he began, while Eleanor’s face illuminated, she tried to contain herself and hear the rest “for the moment, until you find that girl, or that baby is born….. you’ll stay, but there are things I trust you’ll have to know and explain to the rest…. that won’t change”

“Okay” she nodded, she knew the barn was going to be a more difficult talk. She knew that even if she opened up to Hershel, it was going to take a while until he understood, until he could think about what she told him. And as if reading her thoughts, he added

“That doesn’t mean I’m convinced about your way of handling that sick people…. It’s my barn” and Eleanor nodded again.

“thank you” she said letting her breath out “you can’t imagine how much this means to us”

“I can have an idea….. of how much you care for them, by the way you risk yourself” he ended, with a little smile, that Ellie answered. Thanking him, she got up and walked outside of the house, and to her surprise, Rick was there.

 

She run to him, not being able to contain her happiness, this one gave him a mix of confusion and hope. 

"i thought you were already gone with Andrea..... it doesn't matter, listen.... Hershel accepted.... we are staying" she said with a broad smile "he agreed for Lori to remain here until the baby is born, and maybe we could grow ourselves to his heart later on  but---"

She gasped when Rick hugged her, lifting her of the ground and giving her a turn. She laughed and when he let go, she could see the sudden relief that his face showed, but then he frowned...

"the barn..." 

"I could't convince him on that, I'm sorry" she began, but shocked her head, regaining her enthusiasm "but we'll work it out, we can even barrel up that thing if you want" she smiled and Rick sneered, and couldn't help to hug her again. More encouraged, Rick gave her a  last ' thank you' and left to meet Andrea, that was already waiting at the pickup. Eleanor couldn't contain her sudden happiness as she turned on her feet, didn't even have time to ask him what was he doing all that time she spent with Hershel talking. 

Truth was he was talking with someone else, someone that... at that same moment, was looking through his binoculars, watching the exchange with attention, before turning to face the bar again. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hershel walked to the kitchen to leave his plate of food after his conversation with Eleanor finished. She might have been the same age as Maggie, and yet, she knew how to convince people. He looked up and noticed that the one she named before was on the kitchen too, cleaning some beans. 

"Hi honey" 

"Hey" she answered with a quiet voice, he turned to her. 

"In the end, she convinced me to let them stay, and I'm still not sure if i should have" he commented, and she looked at him. 

"i think Eleanor is right.... about the walkers" she said suddenly.

".....walkers" Hershel ended a little annoyed "Maggie, they are sick people that...."

"also need your help? more than these people?" asked Maggie "this people that are alive, sane, that helped me.... yes! they did" he added while Hershel looked at her, taken back "Glenn did"

"the Asian boy?"

"Glenn... dad" she corrected " he saved me when one of those, sick people tried to kill me" her tone turned to recriminating "And i understand why they are so scared, and why they want to stay" Hershel frowned, confused and surprised by this new information, but before he could inquire more on this revelation his daughter was giving him, Jimmy entered the house, agitated. 

"It happened again..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

Eleanor looked at the barn from the camp again, Rick had just left with Andrea, this time more eased up, but she wondered if she should tell the good news to everyone else…. Suddenly she felt that it wasn’t going to be that good of new since the barn was still full of walkers, and opening her mouth about Lori’s pregnancy was an indiscretion that she didn’t really gave a thought about before, and now felt guilty. She frowned, not sure of what to come out of it until she heard that someone called for her, it was Hershel, and he was accompanied by Jimmy.

 “Why don’t you come with me child…. If you really want to stay, you’ll have to help me with something” He said as Eleanor tagged along with them, it was at that moment that she noticed that Jimmy was carrying three metal sticks with a lace on the end, like those used to trap dogs, but a larger version, and she grew restless.

 

They walked into the forest until Eleanor noticed some growling and she got stiff.

“that’s Lou bush” said Hershel recognizing the corpse of the woman

“Lou?” asked Eleanor

“Lou as in Louise…. She has a farm up the road, sweet corn mostly… worked at Hatlin’s bar on weekends…. The man, I don’t know him but I know those coveralls, I’ve been to where he worked“ they reached a slit where the walkers were trapped, Jimmy and Hershel approached like they were some kind of wild raccoons, and Eleanor couldn’t help but remain restless, it was not in her nature to get close to one and not immediately kill it, she had to contain herself.

Hershel looked at Eleanor that let out a breath and took one of the metal holders, and approximated to the slit. She laced Louise Bush and pulled her out gently, the walkers went over to her and Eleanor retreated scared, but the metal bar contained her and prevented her to approach, at that moment Hershel took the chance to also lace her, while Jimmy took care of the man Hershel didn’t recognize.

 

“This is harder than I thought” Eleanor battled her way to the walker that tried to get to her, she wasn’t still sure if she could do this on a constant basis, but one thing was for sure, she was  nowhere near to giving up. Hershel half laughed at her commentary.

“I’ve got to admire your ability of adaptation….. if you can keep this up, I say we have ourselves a deal”

“Hershel!” they both heard and turned around, the walker that Jimmy had suddenly released himself from the lace, and was running towards Jimmy, Eleanor let go of her own baton and launched over the one that fell t the ground lazing the walker again and pulling to the opposite direction with all of her forces, she looked back to see if Jimmy was  out of danger, and then, she felt herself falling, confused she got up as fast, and noticed with horror…. the thin metal lace had cut through the rotten and incomplete neck of the corpse, that with the sudden pull of Eleanor and the cite marks of his neck, was to fragile and gave in.

Jimmy, that panted on the ground scared, crawled away until his back touched the log of a tree, never averting his eyes of the head that rolled to his side. A strong silence was made, only the growls of the other corpse could be heard, while Hershel, still holding on her, watched the whole scene, Eleanor turned to him worried and apologetic, but another growling made things even worse, when Jimmy that alerted them both, signaled a head that was still growling, clacking and trying to bite him. The boy, that was barely 18, looked at Hershel confused, searching for an answer, that he couldn’t give, instead he denied with his head what his eyes couldn’t stop watching, until Eleanor walked over to it and pierced her blade on the crane, finally making it stop.

“I’m sorry…. Are you okay?” she said extending her hand to Jimmy that took it to get up. Hershel looked down confused, but before he could forget that he still had a walker to care on, Eleanor walked to him, took the other metal stick and looked at him, holding the walker in place.

“you need to be more gentle” he managed to say, walking in front of her

'stubborn old man' Eleanor thought, maybe it was going to be more difficult than she thought, to convince him of getting rid of those walkers.... she would have to use all her social skills, not necessarily known to her yet.....

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“… but she didn’t tell us anything, are you sure he accepted” Glenn asked to Maggie, they fiinally talked about him telling her secret, and she forgave him, in exchange she confessed to him and the whole group that Eleanor talked to his father and he agreed for them to stay, under certain conditions.

“My father and she went to the forest, maybe she didn’t have time to tell you”

“do you think that Rick knows?” asked Lori, she couldn’t deny she was happy to hear they were staying, but had to talk to Rick later; Carl, that was playing chess with Beth, couldn’t help but to smile delighted, Eleanor could convince Hershel…. They could stay.

“Where’s everyone?” asked T-dog, that came from watching the barn

“Andrea and Rick went to look for Sophia” began Lori

“Only them?” asked Carol confused

“Eleanor went with Hershel to the forest, we don’t know about the rest”

“Are any of you taking this seriously?” asked Daryl annoyed, until the turned looking at the front “there we go” he commented, when he saw Shane walking in the distance, with the bag of guns….. Lori grew restless. 

“What’s all this?”

“You with me man?” asked rick and Daryl nodded taking a gun; he walked to the house “Time to grow up!”

“Where’s Dale” asked Glenn confused, and Maggie stood up beside him

“He’s on his way” cut Shane

“I thought we can’t carry” said T-dog confused

“We can and we have to…. Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe, but now we know it ain’t…..” he turned to Glenn “how about you man, you gonna protect yours” he offered a gunshot, that Glenn took, fired up.

“You can’t do this now! Eleanor just convinced my father to let you all stay!.... if he learns this…. he’ll throw you all out!” Maggie said concerned

“We are staying Shane, we can’t go” Carl stepped up, serious and determined, and Lori couldn’t help but to walk next to him, also protesting

“We are not leaving….. now look, Hershel, he’s just gotta understand, he will have to” his words were followed by a quiet huff of disbelieve coming from Patricia, that was also present “Now we need to find Sophia, Am I right?” he walked to Carl and kneeled, offering him the small revolver “now Carl you gotta protect your mom right? Take this” but Lori ran in front of him, livid

“Are you out of your mind” she spat “this is not your call; we agreed to respect Hershel’s rules… you can’t just come here and do whatever you please!”

“Guys…. You are not going to believe this” said T-dog, looking at the horizon, the rest turned around and Shane walked next to T-dog, from the woods, emerged Hershel, Jimmy and Eleanor, the three were holding onto what seemed a walker, and luring it to walk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“We are almost there” said Hershel while Eleanor huffed…. They were finally reaching he barn, she repeated in her mind that this couldn’t be permanent, that she would learn her way to show Hershel and his family the truth…. But then, a loud scream made her turn around.   

“What the hell do you think you are doing?!” roared Shane, that run all the way from the house to the barn. Elenor shivered.

“Shane stop….” She tempted reluctant, the rest catches up to them, only Lori and Carl were left behind, since his wounds could still reopen.

“why do your people have guns!” asked Hershel angry, but he was ignored

“you see! You see what they’re holding onto? And you fell for it! For this insanity”

“Shane we can do this a different way… don’t rush things” she let go of the metal lace she  had and walked to Shane.

“Like hell I’m rushing anything, you spent so much time sat on your ass you forgot what those things are! …. These things ain’t sick! They are not people! They are dead… ain’t got to fell nothing for them, cause all they do, they kill!... These things right here! They’re the things that killed Amy!? They killed Otis, they’re gonna kill all of us!?”

“Shane, stop!”

“Hey Hershel man, let me ask you something. Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?” he pulled out his gun and fired three shots, everyone ducked don scared while he shot the walker in the chest

“Shane!”

“Could someone who’s alive, could they just take that!?.... they can’t! because they are dead!”

“Shane that’s enough!?”

“Yeah…. That’s enough” he fired to the brain and the walker fell. Hershel, disoriented, stumbled along with the walker, that he still had with the metal lace, Maggie rushed to him containing her tears, fearful that the shock might upset her old father.

Eleanor looked at the scene almost petrified, she didn’t recognize the man she had in front of her, had she ever considered him that dangerous? She looked up and her face of concern turned into one of alert, Shane took the moment of commotion to grab an ax, and launched it at the chains and padlock that were on the barn doors

“Enough risking our lives for a little girl who’s gone!” he tried once “enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us” he tried a second time, the chains gave in and fell to the ground, only the wooden plaque remained.  

“if you all want to live, to survive, you gotta fight for it… right here! Right now!”

Eleanor, unsure of why, or how, jumped and run to him. She stood in front of the door of the barn and opened her arms slightly

“Shane… you need to calm down… “ she began….

A gasp of pain, followed by the alarmed cries of Carol, Lori and Carl could be heard. Shane, not faced by Ellie, walked to her and grabbed her by the wrist,  pulling her out of the way; he then twisted it behind her back and she grimaced in pain. At that moment, he used his other hand, to lift the wooden plate and open the doors.

Backing away, he threw Eleanor to the side; she fell on her knees, graving her arm scared. Shane glared at her and threw the small revolver he offered to Carl, it fell to her side. She looked at it uncertain while, T-dog, Glenn, Shane and Daryl got in a row, and began firing, when the walkers appeared on the door. One after the other they took them down. She turned around and found that Lori scared, hugged her son, that was also in shock, no longer trying to get away from the arms of his mother.

Her hand acted on instinct, again… as much as she didn’t want to participate of that pointless show of violence, the walker that dangerously approached forced her to. It fell just in front of her, the bloody hole on his head, while Eleanor, still on the ground looked at it, wide eyed…… it was happening so fast, and yet so slow, the corpses falling one after the other…. Until silence was made again; only the cries of Beth and Maggie were filling the immense void….. Until a final growl forced Eleanor to look up, to look at the barn again.

 

From the shadows, a small figure emerged, short blond hair, a cute sky blue shirt with a pink star a frail body that Eleanor and everyone else recognized…. It was Sophia….. Infected, already transformed, her dead eyes still weirdly sensible to the strong source of light, as she walked to them.

A cry came from the side, Carol run to the front, screaming the name for her little girl, until Daryl hugged her stopping her for going any further. Carl cried in the arms n his mother, while Lori begged him to close his eyes and avert his gaze….. Shane looked to the side defeated, and Dale, that just arrived hocked his head n disbelieve.

“It’s okay….. it’s going to be okay” a whisper was heard, Eleanor, small revolver in hand, got up and walked past Shane, and closer to Sophia, her voice alerted the little creature that now walked to her “I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry” she whispered her voice breaking. Tears streaming down her face, she opened her arms and Sophia walked right into them, to a distance that was almost too close, and a loud bang followed by a thud could be heard…. Rick, that just arrived with Andrea, looked at the scene in horror and sadness

 

She was finally found….  

 


	7. The needs of the many...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophia is finally found, but in the worst circumstances. After so much time of searching, and so many risks.... it turned out she was a walker, locked down in Hershel's barn. This revelation, along with the sudden insurrection provoked by Shane will be start of tension in between the group, that will grow into mistrust and anger..... but how far are they going to take it?

 

 

"Elle"

 

A rasp voice brought Eleanor back to reality. She flinched feeling the hand in her shoulder and a sniff escaped her, she sightly turned her head, noticing that the cries of Carol stopped.... she had gone back to the camp. The voice called for her again and she turned her head to the other side, Rick was pulling Sophia's body away from her arms.... she let him do it.

Then, a sudden rage came over her, and she got up, turning her teary face to Shane, walking to him, punching him in the face with all of her force.

Shane, being almost a head and  half taller than her, stood his ground, but didn’t answer the hit, it landed on his jaw, the impact got his lip, and a little trail of blood formed on the corner of his mouth.... he didn't bother to clean it. Alarmed, Rick hold Eleanor, preventing her to try that again.

“Proud of yourself? Feel all 'grown up'...” she said in hate, it was all a mess.... Hershel hid his face on his hands, trying hard not to cry in front of his daughters; Beth was inconsolable, she approximated the corpses, crying calling for her mother, moving the limbs aside, until she turned  to face the body of a woman.

But then; she screamed..... only hitting her cheek, the bullet never killed the walker and it now wanted to attack Beth. Alerted, Rick let go of Eleanor and ran over her, Glenn and T-dog beside him, they tried to pull the girl away from the strong grip of the walker. Beth cried for her father in complete terror and Hershel ran to her side, just as they could make her stand, Andrea grabbed a large hook and pierced the crane of the walker in a gruesome  way, that could only make things worse. 

No longer able to witness that disaster, Eleanor turned around and ran to the camp; that was the signal that Hershel took to also go away, followed by his family, to his house. 

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“We’ve been out! We’ve even combing the woods looking for her and she was in there all along?..... Did you know!?” said Shane; he, Rick and Glenn strolled behind Hershel’s family, that was already reaching the house.

“Leave us alone!” Maggie spat back in hate

“Shane stop” Rick tried to pull Shane by the arm but this one shoved him off.

“Get your hands off me!..... you knew and you kept It from us”

“I didn’t know” Hershel’s voice broke, he was still shaken by that whole situation.

 “why was she there!?”

“Otis…. Put those people in the barn, maybe found her and put it in there before he was killed” They reached the front door, and while their daughters and Jimmy entered the house, Hershel stayed behind.

“and you expect me to believe that… what do I look like? Do I look like an idiot”

“hey! Hey Shane that’s enough”

“I don’t care what you believe!?” Hershel snapped back. Finally more conscious of his surroundings, the anger was starting to boil inside him….. he was not going to accept any more of this.

“everybody just calm down”

“I want this man off my lands by tonight!” and with that ultimatum, he entered his house. Leaving the three men standing on the entrance.

After a moment, a repentant Glenn entered the house too, leaving Rick and Shane.

“what are you doing….. tell me” began Rick, Shane averted his gaze “what the hell is all this Shane?”

“Daryl almost died looking for her Rick”

“I don’t mean that, I mean this!” it was Rick’s turn to be angry “How did you think things would play out! This man helped us, opened his arms and even considered to let us stay… Elle told me, he accepted that Lori would have the baby here, protected…. And what do you do… you hand out guns, begin an insurrection and massacre his family”

“they were already dead” said Shane in a quiet voice.

“that’s not how he looks at it…… why do you do this!” they both raised their voice “this could have gone differently!? We were doing fine!”

“this was not fine! They were dangerous!”

“you opened the barn!? Shane!” Rick screamed back angry, and Shane shut up “It doesn’t take that much to know it was you” Shane looked to the side and huffed in disbelieve “I was going to take care of it!”

“Making us look for a girl that everyone else knew was dead!? That’s what you did!?”

With that last exchange, Shane walked away, rubbing his head, in direction to the barn, while Rick looked at him, and he wondered, was he this hot headed…. It was his best friend, why did he felt he was always against him, even when he wasn’t… and a sudden dread crept to his heart, a sudden distrust of a truth that bothered him since he knew his wife was pregnant….. He didn’t want to know…

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ellie sighed.... and sniffed again. Sat under the large oak where the camp was, she hugged her knees close to her chest while gazing at the barn.... stubbornly sulking. Her tired face turned into an annoyed frown when her eyes fell upon Shane, that after arguing with Rick walked down to the barn again..... the jerk; Eleanor's hurt ego told her that this was what he wanted from the beginning, with Hershel's spirit crushed, and his family's peace completely destroyed, he had no need to ask permission of anything to anyone.... it was barbaric, it was uncivilized and inhuman; was he always like this? She could still remember how he saved her at the CDC, protected her.... gave her right. She couldn't understand what changed.... or when; what was she missing.....

A stir alerted her and she looked to her right, Carl sat to her side, and rubbed the side he was shot.... suddenly worried she asked

"You okay? Does it hurt?" But he shock  his head in denial. She rested her head on her knees, still looking at him. "I'm sorry...."

"It's not your fault Sophia is dead.... she  was the one who ran away" he began, and Eleanor wide eyed surprised. Carl shock his head, nervous "what I wanted to say was...." he stopped unsure, and Eleanor smiled

"Thank you best buddy; you are right, i shouldn't be beating myself about this..... neither should you" Carl looked at her and sighed, Ellie felt so embarrassed, she should be the one cheering him up..... not the other way around. "Sometimes things don't go as we plan them, but that doesn't mean you should stop trying"

"I wanted to be the one to find her... hidden under a tree; or something." he commented and Eleanor smirked, Carl shrugged "I was telling mom that I would have done the same you did.... and kill her"

"Why do you think I killed her?"

After a short pause Carl turned to her serious

"To let her rest, to end it" 

Eleanor smiled and caressed his head.

"That's right.... they deserve to rest" Carl nodded and looked at he barn. Ellie did the same letting go of her knees, letting her back rest against the tree

"I'll talk to Shane" he said suddenly, Ellie turned to look at him, he was frowning "he needs to apologize"; he turned to her, annoyed and Ellie tried her best to remain serious.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it..... I punched him as payback..... and i'm not going to apologize" she joked, Carl couldn't fight a smirk and Eleanor giggled. Proud he was able to lift her mood, Carl snuggled closer and also got comfortable, resting against the tree. But his little smile disappeared...

"Will Hershel tell us to leave? Where are we going to  go?" 

"I think he needs some space for now.... it's been a long day; and if he still wants us to leave after..... we'll figure something out" she reassured him, her spirits finally lifting..... this was not  the end of the world.... things could still be repaired, she could smooth things up; she had to try.

 

 

 

“A few more trips” commented Rick, after a small ceremony made for Sophia, Hershel’s wife and stepson, Andrea and T-dog offered to take care of the remaining bodies, making a pile to burn them, Eleanor, that seemed to be calming down, walked alongside Lori and Dale, that were also there to see if they could do anything.

“we got lucky, if that barn had any more we could’ve been overrun” Said Andrea, while they put the last corpse on the truck.

“Good thing Shane did what he did, when he did it” ended T-dog.

“Are you being serious, how is any of this right!” asked Eleanor fueled again, she was finally letting it go, but the realization that people were giving Shane right drove her insane “how is this lucky! This wasn’t right, look at Hershel’s family… they are destroyed”

“They are mourning, they’ll come around” Andrea argued, full of herself, that drove Ellie on edge.

“Yeah...... mourning; I wish they had the chance to ‘mourn’ like you did, since you forgot how it felt I guess it worked”

“you don’t know anything!” Andrea spat back, Ellie pushed the ‘Amy’ button, she was not sorry.

“Oh I don’t, but I know one thing! This whole thing is a mess!?.....  We wasted more ammo today than any normal day of practice, none of you shot in the head properly! Talk about the noise! What if that was heard by a bigger herd that might be coming our way!? What about the smoke signal you are going to make burning those bodies, screaming to the world our location! The walkers are not the only nasty things we have to look out for!” She added out of herself, pacing from Andrea to T-dog, the first one, too stubborn to actually hear any of what Eleanor said, she didn’t care; the second one looking a little shaken, considering the options  “yeah, this was absolutely genius! There was nothing else we could do!.... Taking the walkers one by one, from the roof of the barn, far away from us would have been so difficult and dangerous!!!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eleanor turned around and walked away, angry again. Rick sighed and rubbed his eyes, tired. Lori looked to the side, also ashamed.

“she’s gone insane” commented Andrea, still full of herself.

“On the contrary...... her logic is perfect” Added Dale, serious “I can’t believe you are okay with this”

“there’s no use talking about it anymore Dale, it’s done; we can’t do anything about it” said Lori sad, with a pat on his shoulder, she walked to the house.

Rick, looked at the figure of Eleanor, that stopped by the old oak tree, she stood there looking at the horizon. He felt sorry, he should have been there, Shane overpowered her, and it was no surprise….. she was just a child, even if she was smart and mature, she was a child. He couldn’t imagine how things could get any worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"he's gone? but when did he leave?" Eleanor asked Maggie worried, Patricia was testing Beth's blood pressure, she was in state of shock, unmoving, laid down in the bed as if she was some kind of wax statue. Maggie, worried sick, went to look for his father, only to discover that he put all of her stepmother's clothes and possessions on a bag, left it on he bed, and that he was gone; gone from the farm. 

"I was talking with Glenn and she fainted, we can't find him" She said getting up, going to Hershel's dormitory, Eleanor froze at the sight of Shane, that along with Rick were looking around for any clue that could tell them the old man's location.... a note, something missing, possibly a secret case where could hide something like a gun... Ellie closed her eyes in worry, this was the last thing she needed, she felt so guilty, and at the same time so angry against the person in front of her, not believing for one second the weird show of concern on his face. 

"looks like he found an old friend" he commented giving Rick an old metal hip-flask. 

"I didn't take Hershel for a drinker" he said confused 

"that was from my grandfather, dad hasn't touched a drop of liquor since I was born, he doesn't even allow it inside the house" she ended, Eleanor gave a glare at Shane, but averted her gaze before he could notice, something that Rick didn't, looking at Ellie for a moment, he turned to Maggie again

"where is the bar of town?" he asked 

"Hatlin's...... he practically lived there on his drinking days"

"that's where we'll find him"

"I have seen the place I'l take you" added Glenn, and Rick nodded, saying he was taking the truck, going away. Shane walked out beside him and Eleanor did her best to not look at him, he did the same. Maggie looked at Ellie and she noticed, she gave her a small grin, before going out. Ellie stood there instead, looking at the room, Hershel was leaving his wife's things in the hope that some day she would see her again. She couldn't deny that he was hurting himself and his family to some degree, but all of this..... Beth, Hershel gone and probably in danger.... all of that could have been avoided, and that was what still haunted Eleanor. She was about to walk out of the room when she heard a conversation outside and froze. 

 

"you gonna have a conversation about this before you leave..." it was Lori, and she seemed upset. Suddenly Eleanor couldn't move, she didn't want to....

"so you seriously are going out there after this guy" began Shane, Eleanor was mad again, he should be the one risking his sorry ass. 

"he's right; this is not the time to.... head off, not today. You-"

"I'm not arguing" cut Rick, he sounded calm, but Elle could bet he was also annoyed, it disconcerted Eleanor why would Lori be on Shane's side too, given she always said she wasn't comfortable with violence of that sort "it's the least I can do for Hershel after we-"

"we what?" asked Shane again, not Rick sounded annoyed, and Eleanor had to grip the arm of a chair with force to prevent herself running out, making that a four people conversation. With no further remarks, Shane walked away and Eleanor could feel herself breathe again; but noticed that Lori and Rick were still outside

"Carl said that he would have shot Sophia himself" she began "that's your son! he's getting cold... he's growing up in a world....." but she stopped "he's growing up in a world where he needs a father like you; around, alive not out there solving everybody else's problems"

"it's not just his problem I'm solving..... we need him for the baby, so I'm going after him" it was now the turn of Rick to walk away. 

Lori gave a defeated sigh and Ellie could see how she walked away to the kitchen, she hurried to reach the front-yard where she found Rick, already waiting at the truck, she walked next to him and he took a moment to look at her, he was filling his python with bullets. 

 

"As much as I want Shane away from me, cleaning his own mess.... i prefer it to be you that talks to Hershel" she began, Rick didn't lift his gaze, she rested her arms on the open door of the truck and gazed at him. "Maybe I should also go with you"

"I'd rather have you here, keeping an eye on Shane" he began, but the moment he said that he sighed and stopped, he turned to her and Ellie noticed that he had a worried, and regretful face "I-I'm sorry.... for what he did I.... I don't know why he is like this but...." he  frowned shaking his head, and Eleanor couldn't help but snort. 

"like father like son" she commented with a smile "I know what you are trying to say cowboy, and it's okay.... I have my ways to get under the skin of people, he's not the only one at fault" Rick gave her what Ellie concluded was a sulk and her smile grew larger "you know.... It might not be my business but.... to my impression, Carl is not getting cold" she began, and Rick still oddly interested in his gun, smirked

"you should be ashamed of yourself" he joked and Ellie giggled 

"Carl is the sweetest child.... he payed me a visit after the whole incident with Shane.... cheered me up" she smiled and Rick looked at her "he told me wanted to be the one to find Sophia, and true.... he told me that it was a good thing I killed her" his confused face suddenly changed into a mix of worry and regret, but Ellie kept on smiling "he told me it was a good thing so that, that way, she can finally rest in peace"

 

"he told you that?" Rick gave a overwhelmed, and hopeful face, Eleanor smirked also thinking how fast his emotions could be seen on his face 

"He did.... that's why I tell you, he's not growing cold, he's growing wise; and maybe you really are just solving everyone else's problems but.... someone's got to step up and draw the line, after all that's what he admires about you" Rick nodded, but he was not convinced "I'll keep him company if you like"

"Thank you... I would like that" Rick nodded again, with a little smirk. she stepped away from the vehicle just as Glenn came by, and they were off. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“This place is going to hell” Dale said while walking out of the house with Lori. She, who was as worried as everyone else, looked around to spot Eleanor still sulking under that forsaken tree.

“Yeah, I'm trying hard to prevent that” She said annoyed.

“You won't be able to. There are people in this group who think that what Shane did was justified.”

“I know you two can't stand each other, but he did something that needed to be done.” Concluded Lori “I know it was not the best way to do things, but he’s a hothead”

“No, Lori, he's dangerous… I think he killed Otis.” Dale couldn’t contain himself any longer, and Lori stopped walking. She looked at Dale confused and with her hands, she motioned him to stop.

“Otis was killed by walkers.” She said skeptical

“He knew how to handle walkers. Otis was the one who was putting them in the barn.” Dale stopped and took a breath, collecting his thoughts “I believe that... That Shane sacrificed Otis. I can't prove it, but I-I-I... I think that in the end, Otis was slowing him down and he... shot him and left him for bait.”

“Shane may be a hothead, but he's not a murderer. And... and why would he kill somebody who's trying to help? Somebody that just saved his life? It makes no sense” Lori shock her head confused

“I don't know. But the way  Eleanor talks about the whole incident is so different to him. She’s precise, her story doesn’t became more elaborate, but more specific….. Instead, Shane’s is always the same….. pinned down? him? If someone was risking their life going back for him was Otis. I'm telling you... I knew guys like him, and sooner or later... He's gonna kill somebody else…… and by how he reacted today…. I wouldn’t let him get too close to that poor child” He said, giving a worried look at the silhouette of Ellie, and walking away.

A sudden shiver went down Lori’s spine. She remembered when Shane pulled her arm and pushed her to the side, it scared her; she was glad to be so far away from him when he was angry….. part of her was justifying his actions, telling her she deserved it, and she felt like a monster by thinking it…. It was all a mess.

 

 

 

It was dark, it was empty. Rick and Glenn entered the bar with a certain reserve until his eyes landed on the white shirt of Hershel, giving his back to them, he asked who was with Rick, and Glenn greeted him. He asked if Maggie sent them….

“He volunteered,  He's good like that” Rick walked along the counter and the tables, to where Hershel was, Glenn stayed behind him, still rifle in hand, while rick looked at the old man. A bottle of whisky on his right “How many have you had?”

“Not enough.”

“Let's finish this up back at home” he said, as gently as he could “Beth collapsed, is in some sort of state….Must be in shock; and I think you are too.” Hershel asked if Maggie and Patricia were with her and Rick reluctantly said yes, but that what she actually needed was her father.

“What could I do? She needs her mother. Or rather to mourn like she should've done weeks ago… I robbed her of that; I see that now…. maybe too late” Hershel looked tired, Eleanor’s words resonated inside Rick, they destroyed his family…

“You thought there was a cure; You can't blame yourself for holding out for hope”

“Hope?” Hershel snorted “when you and that child arrived at my farm with your boy in your arms, I had little hope he would survive…. When I saw her hold her ground, stay calm and calm you down…. I felt sorry for her, being so naive” He gave Rick a tired smirk, while Rick said nothing “She offered to go for the medicines, even If I was sure she would back down…. she didn’t. Even thought we lost Otis, She and your man Shane…. They came back, and your boy survived…. That was the miracle that proved to me miracles do exist; I wanted to also feel that strength…. But it was a lie, a sham….. Life was never that simple and I should’ve known;  I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that”

 

“So what is it gonna be?” Rick couldn’t help but to feel annoyed, their struggle was real, for him it was worth it “do you…. Plan to drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?”

“Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm” Hershel stood up angry “You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!...... you disappear! And let them do what they want! …..You're supposed to be their leader! Where were you?!”

“I'm here now! aren't I?” Rick walked to him, Hershel smirked and snorted, wobbling back to his chair, sitting down, he was drunk, but not enough.

“Yes…… Yes, you are” Rick reached for his arm to help him stand and Hershel shoved his arm off “I refused to believe…. She told me, and I didn’t listen” he began, again a look of shame in his eyes “she tried to explain it to me, how her mother got bit….. and died in front of her; and  how she got up again….. she told me and I chose to not believe, but….. when  Shane shot Lou in the chest and she just kept coming I…. what’s when I finally understood” Hershel put his face on his hands “Annette had been dead long ago and all this time…. I’ve been feeding a rotten corpse! …… and the moment that little girl came out of the barn,  the moment Eleanor killed her, I saw it in your face….. the pain…. The regret. You know as much as I do now, that there is no hope, for any of us”

Rick paced around the bar, Glenn watched confused and worried from them to the door. Rick shock his  head in denial. He knew…. He knew that he was wrong, that all the pain and suffering and all the sacrifice was not in vain; that there was still reason for living. He wished that Eleanor was there beside him, with  the  right words as she always was…. But then he contradicted himself, she didn’t deserve this, she didn’t need to hear this, not his wife, not his son. He turned to Hershel annoyed.

“Look, I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore, cleaning up after you…..  You know what the truth is? Nothing has changed. Death is death. It's always been there, whether it's from a heart attack, cancer,  or a Walker. What's the difference? …..  You didn't think it was hopeless before, did you? Now there are people back at home trying to hang on. They need us, even if it's just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don't believe it ourselves….. You know what? This... this isn't about what we believe anymore. It's about them.”

Hershel turned to look at Rick, and then at his cup of whisky, he drank it in one go, and turned down he cup. He was done…. And rick could feel like breathing again…. He managed to get Hershel  back into his senses…. And he was fine with that. He refrained a triumphant smirk, while Hershel got up, if they reached the truck they could be home by dinner…. Hershel would see that Beth was alright, they would try to talk about them staying, maybe presenting the case for Shane. He even considered a moment with Eleanor, and convince her to talk to him about her time alone…..

 

 

But all of his hopeful wishes and plans for that night stopped, when the bell of the front door winged, and two unknown men walked in.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Have to confess that I'm 100% with Eleanor on this one, when i first saw chapters 7 and 8 of the walking dead I thought to myself 'why not taking down the walkers inside the barn and take the bodies out later?'..... i wonder who is more angsty.... Shane or Andrea; I'm really making him look like the worst on my history..... the poor hot headed guy  
> Comment if you like, subscribe to follow the series. Until next chapter.


	8. The apple of discord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hershel is missing, and assuming he went to the bar in town, Glenn an Rick offered to bring him back, before Beth's sudden shock attack weakens her any further. He was already reaching conclusion. When something completely unexpected happened.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Too long, Rick Grimes knew when things were taking too long. He repeated in his head that retrieving Hershel should have been a come and go kind of situation, faster than an actual run to town…. But no, this had to happen. Two guys walked into a bar, it was almost like the beginning of a bad joke. They presented themselves, and even though they did nothing out of the ordinary, Rick couldn’t feel at ease. 

“We met on I-95 coming out of Philly. Damn shit-show that was” Said the younger, slim one, Dave. Rick poured the rest of what that bottle of whisky had for the new comers, and while he rested with a serious guarded face, Glenn smiled to the strangers.

“I'm Glenn. It's nice to meet some new people” he said in a friendly tone

“Rick Grimes….  His name's Hershel”

“He doesn’t drink?..... Don’t tell me you are a quitter” He joked, but Hershel never smiled

“He lost people today, a lot of them” Added Rick, and Dave’s smile fell apart.

“I'm truly sorry to hear that…..” he said, raising his shot “To better days and new friends. And to our dead... may they be in a better place” he moved to serve himself another one, and Rick noticed the hand gun on his belt. “So, are you moving?” After a pause, Rick decided to speak

“Fort Benning” he lied, they wouldn't hit the road again in at least a year….

“Hate to break it to you pal, but Fort Benning is gone” the other man, Tony, a fat and less reliable man, that sat across the bar, on the other counter answered back. Rick gazed at him from the corner of his eye.

“what?.... gone?” asked Glenn kind of alarmed

“We ran across a grunt that was stationed at Benning. Thehe place was overrun…. Truth is, there is no getting out of this nightmare” Added Dave again, “Rumor after a rumor, that’s all we’ve got….. first it was D.C. I heard there might be some kind of refugee camp, but the roads were so jammed, we never even got close.”

“One guy told us there was the coast guard sitting in the Gulf, sending ferries to the islands. The latest was a rail yard in Montgomery running trains to the middle of the country...” said Tony in disbelieve…. Rick gazed at them for a moment, and tried to hide the nervousness in his face; he wasn’t at ease… he didn’t like where that conversation was going.

“But… what about you; It doesn’t look like you are having it that rough…. You settled down around here? Is it safe?” asked Dave again, and the sudden feel of distrust could even be felt in the atmosphere.

 “We're with a larger group out scouting, thought we could use a drink”

“A drink? Hershel, men I thought you quit” Tony said, not convinced huffing out a smirk….. but disappeared as fast as it came “Well, we're thinking of setting up around here so…. Are you in the outskirts, a new development…… a farm?”

_The walkers are not the only nasty things we’ve got to look out for_

*Old Mac Donald had a farm….* sang Tony, walking away to one side of the bar, then…  Rick had to fight a grimace as hard as he could, the sound of water hitting wood echoed through the empty bar * E-I-e-I-o* Glenn looked also to the other side disgusted….. Rick knew that man wasn’t drunk enough to pee around like he did; and that only mean he didn’t care.

“you got food? Water?” pursued Dave

“You got cooze?......Ain't had a piece of ass in weeks!” Joked Tony turning to them

“Listen, pardon my friend. City kids... they got no tact” a sudden rage boiled in Rick's veins, he wasn’t going to let this men get to even look at the farm, to come around imposing themselves around Carol, Andrea, Hershel’s daughters….. Eleanor, his wife.  “so…. Listen…..”

“we've said enough….. let’s go” Rick stood up, and Hershel got beside him. Suddenly nervous, Dave got up, lifting his hands in an apologetic gesture

“Hey… hang on a second, this farm sounds pretty sweet. We got some buddies back at camp, been having a real hard time and we can earn our share...  I don't see why you can't make room for a few --”

“Sorry, but that’s not gonna happen” silence again, but Rick couldn’t care to be nervous any longer. He glared at this man Dave, and back at Tony.

“this is bullshit!” the second walked in front of them offended “I'll shoot you three assholes in the head and take your damn farm!”

As if he would let it happen, he couldn’t…. he was a cop once; he knew what kind of guys were in front of him, he repeated himself that he didn’t know them, but it was fine…. He didn’t have to. He looked down, he felt like swaying, but his heart beat miles per second; he suddenly felt so light, and focused…..

And while Dave tried to calm Tony down and talk, Rick took action….

  

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

"How is she?"

"She's sleeping.... thanks to the pills you had with you; at least that way she can rest until dad arrives" said Maggie worried. With a pat on Maggie's shoulder, Ellie walked out of the room. She slowly walked to the front of the house; opening the door, she looked at the peaceful yellowish land that opened itself before her, as if nothing has happened..... and she sighed.

Then, she heard footsteps to her right and she frowned, Lori was suspiciously walking around the cars and looking behind her, she had a large jacket, a flashlight and a map..... finally realizing what that all meant together, Elle ran to her side .

"Care to tell me where are you going exactly" but the woman didn't answer, instead she opened the door to enter. Annoyed, Eleanor ran in front of her and closer the door with her body weight. Lori jumped, her hand almost got caught in the door, she glared up to the young woman

"What the hell was that for!" 

"You know, I'd think that... since you are always complaining that Rick disappears on the worst possible times, you wouldn't do the same... but here we are" Eleanor glared and Lori gave her a surprised face, but her stare hardened as well.

"You really need to stop meddling in other people's business.... you are no one to tell me what to do" Lori circled her way around Elle but the young woman found her way to be up front again. 

"Stop moving and think carefully for a moment" she said, opening her arms on both sides "what are you exactly going to do out there, you don't even know where to go.... think about Carl"

"What did you just say?" said Lori in a menacing tone "I. Think. Of. My. Son... and I'm bringing his father back and if this is what's going to take then so be it"

"And what if something happens to you too.... you really believe that Carl will be alright, knowing both his parents are gone? Will your disappearance give him peace of mind!.... what would you be teaching him! That going out there alone, unprepared and on a whim is alright!”

"Then what do we do! It's getting dark.... they just had to find Hershel and come back! Something is wrong I know it.... Rick shouldn't have gone in the first place" 

"You are right, Shane should have at least tried to clean his own mess" Lori sighed, and shocked her head in disbelieve, but Eleanor wasn't glaring at her anymore, she gave the older woman a look of defeat.... Lori thought for a moment that was the signal she was giving in. And wanted to reach for the car handle again but Eleanor put her hand over the handle "If i go for him instead.... will you stay put?" 

Lori wide eyed at the young woman, how was that a better idea, how was she different  from her, what would she be able to do anyway. As if reading her thoughts, Eleanor took the map and keys from her hands.

"It’s not like I haven’t done this before, and I know how to go around on my own….. I'll be back as soon as i can, but might be better to not tell anyone that I’m gone.... to avoid panic" she said serious, after a pause, Lori sighed and took out the jacket, giving it to her. 

  

"you are leaving..... " The two women jumped and looked behind them. At the front door stood Carl, he warily walked to them, he was frowning. "where are you going?"

"Carl Honey...." began his mother "Ellie Is not leaving…. She’s just…."

"Yes, I'm leaving" she cut and Lori turned to glare at her, she was about to protest, when Eleanor walked over to Carl, and kneeled in front of him "you mother and I think that your father is taking too long..."

"Eleanor" said Lori in a wary tone

"Maybe the car ran off of gasoline, and they had problems returning.... or Hershel doesn't want to come home.... either way, I'm going to help them; trust me…. I'll come back"

Carl gazed at her, at first glance he seemed to be calm, but his worried frown and his quickening breathing betrayed him. 

"Okay" he whispered with a nod, Eleanor smiled reached to give him a hug

“watch your mom for me” she whispered while caressing his head, and Carl buried his face on her shoulder, nodding again; then Eleanor parted from him and got up. She turned around to meet the reproachful stare of Lori. 

"you better return with them" she spat at her in a whisper when Eleanor walked beside her. 

"and you take better care of yourself.... you are not living for yourself anymore" and with that last exchange, Eleanor walked to the car and got inside, hurrying to go away, before anybody else noticed..... not looking at Carl, that didn't look away until she was out of sight.... not noticing the look of complete panic and regret  from Lori. Before this one turned to get inside the house again. 

 

 

Eleanor huffed frustrated, thinking that maybe this was not the best of ideas. After finding the way to the town, she had hope she could find Rick and the two cars before sundown. But that possibility vanished….. it was beginning of autumn, and she miscalculated time, It got dark before she could see the town up ahead…

Thinking that she could still pull out through this, she speeded up a little to reach the place faster, until a loud bang could be heard on the right, and she felt the car sink to a side. Almost losing control she maneuvered the best she could and pulled the hand break. The car drifted with a shriek sound to the side of the road; once it finally stopped, it went off.

Eleanor panted; still grabbing the handle… her knuckles looked slightly white due to the force. Finally taking longer breaths she slowly let go of it, and looked around. She was some meters away the entrance of town… the tire must have been pierced, and now she had to walk to it. She was sighing frustrated when… A gunshot  was heard, then three. She knew it, they were in trouble. She frowned and was about to open the door when a strong light shone behind her.  

By sheer instinct… she ducked, trying to fit her body along the seats the best she could. The vehicle passed by at a great speed, and didn’t notice her. Only after a moment, she slowly looked up, and could distinguish a white pickup that she lost sight of between the streets. She frowned again and looked down…… a shiver ran down her spine, and cold sweat formed in her forehead. She knew this fear, this fear of people....

A bang on the door made her jump, and she looked to the side, a walker was scratching the window  of the door. She pulled the window down and, as soon as the  walker got his head inside, she pierced it with her blade,  the rotten blood fell over her lap and the pilot seat, and she kicked the door opened, and got away from the disgusting smell…. She was about to walk away, but stopped and gazed at the corpse for a minute;  before more growls made her look up ….. and her emotionless face turned into a smirk.

 

Screams and more gunshots were heard, but this time, it was from the outside. Dressed in a large male shirt, covered in rotten blood, she passed through the walkers that were already gathering due to the sudden noise. In her right hand, she had her hunting blade out, ready to strike, and on her left, under her arm…. She tugged one more large shirt, the jacket lori gave her and another large jean jacket…. All covered in walker remains. She hid on the shadows... looking around, she recognized the red car of Hershel, stationed in a close alley..... not too far away where the strangers, taking cover and all pointing to one building; looking up, she noticed it was the bar she was looking for, and she breathed out defeated, hiding in the shadows again, searching for a back door.

 

Door unlocked, Eleanor took a breath and opened the back door, and found herself in some kind of storage room,  it was dark and she made her best to keep as quiet as possible. She was reaching a half closed door that lead to an area with more light, when she heard whispers coming from the other side. Crouching closer to hear, she recognized the voices of Rick  and Glenn and let out a sigh of relief.  She knocked on the door and she could hear the alert stirs from the other side.

“Don’t panic…. It’s just me” she said in a quiet voice, lifting her hands over the counter the door was behind and waving them. A grunt and a sigh were heard and Eleanor popped up her head.

“what the hell is that smell” whispered Glenn with a cringe.

“what the hell are you doing here” whispered Rick, almost at the same time that Glenn talked.

“you can ask Lori when we go back, kind of knows  the whole story better than me anyway” she stepped in and at the look of the woman Glenn grimaced defeated and she smirked “what? The place is filled with walkers outside, how do you think I got here”

“again…. Why do we have to do this…. again” He complained while he took the large shirt that Eleanor offered him and he extended it in disgust.  Eleanor handed Rick the jacket and he raised his eyebrow, finally taking it. She then turned to Hershel with an unsure face, fearing the old man might think of this method.

“please believe me, this is the only way  we can make it” she said with a serious face, Hershel, that shared a face of confusion for a moment, hardened his gaze and  got up, taking the jacket and putting it on without any complains. Eleanor raised her eyebrows, fearing that was going to be more difficult, and then frowned to Rick confused, while Hershel was already stepping out by the back door.

“don’t ask….” Said Rick, as he walked to her and put a arm over her shoulders, urging her to move on. Elle just had seconds to spare to look around, and could spot the lifeless body of a man on the corner, she looked ahead in silence, trying to not show the sudden uneasyness on her face.

 

"How did you distract them to get here?" Asked Rick

"They don't know I'm here. I passed like another Walker" they were whispering back and forth while walking through the back storage room 

"But you came in a car..."

"Flat tire 5 minutes from here... It went off so they thought it was there all along; they're quite busy with the walkers outside so we have a pretty good chance to make it."

"Do we really have to do this now?" Glenn complained. They reached the door and they all went silent when a shadow could be seen from the other side of the opaque window. Rick signaled to the front while the four drew their guns up, it was precisely at the moment the handle started to turn when Glenn fired the shotgun. The bullet went past the window and hit its target. The shadow disappeared, and they all walked to the door.

 

"We'll make two groups... Eleanor and me will go for the yellow car on the corner and you and Hershel will reach for the red one"

"The two?" Asked. Troubled Glenn "what if one is covered by walkers"

"I'll take  peak for the yellow one... I only need someone to cover my back" Rick stepped forward and the pairs formed were maintained 

Rick and Eleanor were to go first, and Hershel watched in amazement how the walkers weren't triggered by them. By the time Eleanor reached the corner with Rick, Glenn and Hershel were making their move, the alley was almost Walker free by then.

"You see it?"

"Yeah, but the white pick-up is right next to it... That means Glenn and Hershel have better chances to get the other one..."

But she was cut off by a sudden noise. A gunshot and immediately after the cling of metal, followed by an additional gunshot and the scream of pain of someone, both Eleanor and Rick turned around alarmed. A man shot Glenn but missed, hiting a metal pole instead, and Hershel took the chance to shot back. Rick whispered if they were safe and Hershel nodded. Eleanor closed her eyes, clearly disturbed by the cries of pain from the man that was shot, now being eaten by walkers... She turned to ask Rick if they should go for the red one instead when the shouting of the people on the pick-up alerted her. They were talking to a child on the roof that the walkers were gathering and they had to leave. The brave teen jumped from one roof to another, but didn't quite make it, stumbling and falling over a spiked fence. A piercing cry of pain echoed through the night while the pick-up drove away. Eleanor looks down, the image of a leg traversed by a metal spike was burned on her mind.... And her thoughts only scaped her when she noticed Rick going to the kid, and she ran after him.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carl looked at the dinner presented before him. He knew that if he played with it his mother would notice... So he stared at it instead.... She was missing. Did she ever say that she would return for dinner?..... No, she didn't. She just said that she would return. But was that today?.... Was that tomorrow?

It's not that he didn't trust her... She helped his dad once, she could do it again. Maybe it was just that, since he met her... This as the first time she left on her own....

He frowned, correcting himself. This wasn't the first time, he knew this feeling.... This turn in his stomach, this uneasyness... just like that time she disappeared on the CDC.

"They should be back by now" commented andrea, Shane looked at her.

"Yeah... Maybe they got holed up somewhere, and decided to stay in for the night... We'll make a search team tomorrow morning." Said Shane while eating.

They didn't know she was gone. He heard Ellie ask his mom to say anything to avoid panic, but she shouldn't take that long either... Maybe they were trapped, as Shane said.

"I want you to keep your head up Carl" began Shane, your father is the thoughest son of a--"

"Not cursing in the house" cut Patricia that, under her calm demeanor, was still upset against Shane.

"Sorry.... Won't happen again. So Lori, Elle is not going to eat either? How long is she going to be like that?" Joked Shane, and Carl couldn't help but frown.

"She had a headache, and preferred to sleep... Right mom?" Carl gazed at his surprised mother. She only asked them to believe in her... He could do that.

"Yeah, she told us that" Lori confirmed, giving a last glance at Carl. That looked at his food again, finally grabbing his fork, maybe she would be there tomorrow...

But the far sound of a car engine made Carl jump right out of his seat and run to the door. Lori followed closely. Outside, two vehicles parked on the entrance. Rick was the first to come out, from the red one Carl ran to him delighted and hug him, Rick answered, and without letting go he hug Lori, that had a relieved face. Meanwhile Hershel and Glenn came out. The first one from the red car, the second from the yellow one. Maggie ran to Glenn and hugged him relieved; completely ignoring her father. 

Carl let go of his father and looked at both cars expectant... From  the yellow one, pilot seat, Eleanor came out... Safe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   


 

"Hello there..." She kneeled to meet Carl's height. This one ran right into her stretched arms. "I hope I'm not late for dinner"

" No... We just started" Carl whispered with  mouffld giggle... Since he was buying his face in her shoulder again. She could almost feel her quick stressed breathing finally reach calm and she knew all that time he was on edge. A sudden guilt attacked her, and she wished she had arrived sooner.

She looked up to meet Lori's uncertain gaze, she smiled but frowned at the same time. It was a face Eleanor hadn't seen since the CDC....

"What a headache you must have had to run to the farmacy this late at night" for some reason, Shane's untimely sarcasm had finally reached a nice moment, and she smiled. Maybe finally letting go of her resentment.

"And look who I found on the way back" she teased and he smirked; but she naive a she could be sometimes, she couldn't guess that truce wouldn't last past those two sentences...

  


"Who the hell is that?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hell yeah! Bad-ass Eleanor is back with the Apple of discord , or as I also like to call it "Shane's excuse"
> 
> This took me an eternity... We are almost done with July..... I should feel so ashamed of myself.  
> This past two weeks have been a real rollercoaster for me. Finally finishing my first year studing abroad, and receiving the confirmation of a second one.... Vive la France! Je reste avec toi!  
> However the chaos I not over yet. I still have papers to sign and submit for the next year. So please be a little patient with me for one more week; when I finally reach vacations.  
> See you in next chapter! ;)


	9. A jump of faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick is back to the farm with Glenn, Hershel and Eleanor. However they are back with another one, a late teenaged they saved along the way.... Randall; that was along the group that confronted Rick in the town. How will the group react to this stranger, and how will Eleanor will reach towards this stranger, given she was once..... one herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:  
> The characters of the walking dead TV series and comics belong to their respective creators. The following modifications to the original story are can made and have a recreative use only. no profit is made out of this story.

 

 

“how many guys?”

  
A pleading whimper could be heard from inside the small, dark shed. Eleanor, standing out side, looked at the horizon with a troubled frown. Inside, Daryl kneeled in front of the bleeding, handcuffed boy and pulled out his pocket knife, never taking his fierce glare away, he twisted the weapon in the large wound the kid... Randall, had in his leg.

  
“30! 30 men” he said in whimpers "They have weapons... heavy stuff, automatics."

“where are they” asked Daryl as he stretched his dagger along the leg, and the kid cried in pain.

Eleanor silently complained, she and Hershel had a hard time treating that when they returned.... now it was a week from that; but she still felt like it happened yesterday. Randall just kept on pleading for mercy, saying he was innocent.

"These-- these people took me in. Not just guys... a whole group of 'em....Men and women, just like you people. Thought I'd have a better chance with them, you know? But... we go out, scavenge-, just the men. One night we-- we found this little campsite: A man and his two daughters... teenagers, you know? Real young. Real cute" Randall's face suddenly turned dark, his fear and coward demeanor were gone. Even if Daryl didn't see him change, since he was giving him his back, Eleanor could see it from outside the shed, through the uneven wood planks that served as door.

  
"Their daddy had to watch while these guys, they..." he fell silent, and looked down ashamed. Daryl faced Randall for a moment before turning to look at Eleanor, who stared at him, her troubled face changed suddenly into into one of pure dread. But as fast as it came, it disappeared.... and she looked to the horizon again.

"but-but-- but I didn't touch those girls. No, I swear I didn't to--"

His words were cut short when Daryl punched him in the face, then again, and again. Not wanting to keep on hearing, Eleanor knocked on the door, before walking away, going to camp. Few minutes later, Daryl was walking along side her, neither of them commenting on what they just did.

 

“The boy is part of a group of at least 30 men, but counting women and children could be a lot more” began Eleanor and Daryl continued for her.

“They got heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends... They roll through here, our boys are dead. And our women..." he stopped turning to Eleanor, that looked down concerned "They're gonna wish they were." A short silence was made before Carol dared to ask Daryl 

“why are your hands like that” He turned to her

“we had a little chat” his knuckles were filled with blood, and Carol turned away disgusted.  Eleanor turned to face Rick, that answered her concerned stare, but before she could say anything, he spoke. 

“no body goes close to the guy… we have to eliminate the threat… there is no other choice” he said suddenly and marched away, no one dared to say anything, except maybe Dale, that went after Rick, who was going to Hershel's house to inform him. Eleanor gave a defeated sigh while she sat next to the extinguished fire, and grabbed her forehead. Shane grabbed his chin and rub his head, before turning to go to the shed, Andrea.... restless decided to go along with him. 

Glenn asked if they were really going to kill a kid, his anger left him, and he no longer thought that he should die only because he attacked them at the town; Eleanor would know.... he told her that Rick was the one to take action.... to kill people from them first.... how were they any better? ; but just as she was about to intervene in the conversation, she spotted a brown hat walking down the hill, also going to the small shed. She frowned, not sure what would Carl want around that place, and she got up, following after him. 

 

He followed after Shane and they talked for a while, and while Shane went to the front of the shed to speak with Andrea, Carl sneaked behind it. Eleanor frown and followed quietly, trying to hide herself in a line of trees that were around there; she finally catches up to him, and saw how using the different piles of logs and a wooden set of stairs, he managed to reach the top floor from the outside, and enter by the window. She shock her head while sneering in anger, she was about to turn around and alert Shane and Andrea... but stopped, maybe that way, she might cause a bigger mess. She opted for going the same way Carl did, and managed to climb the stairs without making any kind of noise. By the moment she reached the inside of the shed, she looked around, trying to spot Carl. 

"You're-- you're lucky you still got your family.... I lost mine" an alert Eleanor noticed that the little devil was already  down and dangerously close to Randall "Hey, I-- I don't know what people have been saying about me, but I didn't do nothing, I swear!.... Your dad was gonna let me go till his friend started fighting with him; It got pretty bad... I was kind a worried" Eleanor frowned, she was about to make her presence evident, but she stopped.... and tried to make something out of this information. Did Rick fight with Shane? it was true that they both came injured, but said that walkers attacked and had to flee.... 

"My camp, we got lots of supplies... You help me, I'll take you and your folks back to my people; We'll take good care of you."

 

"But I thought you said you didn't know where they were" Eleanor's sugar coated voice came from the dark, it was no higher than a whisper and Randall and Carl jumped to look at her, maybe with the same surprised and fearful face "It is a shame that the only person that would have believed your innocent act just got her eyes unfolded" she walked fast while pulling out one of her blades and Carl stepped away, Randall crawled to the wall he was handcuffed to and began whimpering and shacking his head in nervous denial.  

"Sh..sh...sh......sh" she whispered while she lifted her blade to his chin, and got close to his ear "you don't want to make more noise, if the man outside finds us... he won't hesitate to kill you" she whispered so close to his ear, she was sure Carl wouldn't have heard. By the time he turned to look at the young boy, he stood behind her, his gaze firmly on her and Randall... even though he looked nervous, he was not frightened; not from her, not from Randall. She could feel her tension growing into a headache, and she walked to the door, peering if Shane and Andrea were still outside...

"Out" she pushed Carl back to the same way they both came in. Carl complained a moment, but still climbed. She gave a last look at Randall before exciting the shed and going down the wooden stairs. 

 

By the time she reached the end, Carl was already leaving to camp. 'oh no... not this time' she thought, and hurried to be by his side. 

"Carl" she said in an authoritarian tone, and Carl stopped, with a sigh. He slowly turned around and looked at her "I think we need to talk"

"I shouldn't be there.... i know" he ended, a little spark of annoyment shone in her dark brown eyes, while staring right into those defiant light blue ones; with another sigh Carl continued "it's just--"

"It's just you wanted to see the so dangerous stranger that your father and Shane want to kill.... is that it?" Eleanor frowned "Do you realize how dangerous was what you did!... He was trying to convince you to set him free, and if I hadn't arrived he would have--"

"No I wouldn't!" He frowned "I can handle myself"

Eleanor kneeled and looked at him, and said something she knew she would regret later

"You are still a child.... No matter if it seems otherwise. There are certain things you don't need to know" 

She got up and, as Carl shocked his head again and walked away,  her angry face changed into sadness and regret.... Convincing herself that it was for his own good... She turned to look at the barn, sighed and started walking.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

_Eleanor was injured, couldn't reach the farm alone.... she needed one of us, and one of us wasn't gonna make it out; It had to be him....... Reality is... he had no business being here- Or there, Whatever._

 

Rick let escape a tired sigh while he paced around the now empty barn. Without the nasty creatures, Rick actually found the place really nice... Maybe he would have considered moving everyone there for the approaching winter; but  that wasn't an option any-longer; not now that he paced through the second floor rope in hand, searching for a resistant beam to hang a person.

 

_Rick, you can't just be the good guy and expect to live. Okay? Not anymore._

  
But he wasn't the good guy anymore, he could do what needed to be done.... be it kill a man, or a child.

A week ago, he would have never imagined things would go in this direction, after Randall was cured of his injury, it was decided that he and Shane would take him 18 miles out and leave him to his own skills of surviving.... thing was, that Rick took that opportunity to set things clear with Shane... for good. At first it seemed they got to an agreement, he really didn't care, as long as he understood that he had to keep a distance from his family, that he had to keep his cool... stop being dangerous. 

And then..... And then that kid, Randall, confessed that he knew Maggie from school, and hence, also the location of the barn. Rick wasn't sure if he hid it on purpose to that point or if he said that out of desperation, and he wasn't that dangerous indeed; but in the end, it didn't matter... the group voted for Shane's 'practical' solution.

 

_I don't think you can do it, Rick... I don't think you can keep them safe._

 

Rick greeted his teeth and his hands thug the rope with even more force; the anger he felt that morning still burning deep inside him. He was about to turn around and leave the barn... when the sound of footsteps and the shadow at the entrance of the barn alerted him, and he peered from up high. Recognizing the silhouette that had avoided him since his return with Randall. 

 

“Tired of running away from me?” Eleanor looked up and used the wooden stairs to climb to him.

“I wasn’t running away…..” she said finally reaching the end of them, but while she searched with her had somewhere to hold on to climb, Rick pulled her up to his eye level, his serious yet expectant stare was answered with a surprised one, that turned into a sulking frown “I just didn’t want to admit you were right”

“still against it”

“no…… not anymore” she added with a defeated sigh and Rick frowned. It was truth  that she was the first one to jump into Randall's defense and propose him to let him go.... and a second time when he returned, along with Dale... they were the only ones that opposed to the execution. He couldn't deny the sudden spark of guilt he felt to see some of the light on her eyes lost by remorse.  

“you could still try to convince me of doing otherwise” he teased, and Eleanor looked at him “isn't that what Dale is doing with everyone else? I think you have better chances with me”

 

A small smirk formed in Eleanor's face, but as soon as it appeared.... it evaporated, leaving a concerned face. 

“if you considered him as a threat.... why did we save them that night?” she said taking the rope out of his hands, he let her while she looked up to the beams too.

“that was my mistake and I’ll fix it” cut Rick, and an awkward silence was made, Eleanor looked back at him, expecting him to elaborate. "I just couldn't, I did what I thought was right"

"are you doing what you think is right... right now?" she added, and Rick sighed.... he was regretting letting her change his mind.... she did have better chances. 

"….. you think I can’t do it?” he counter attacked, remembering Shane's words... still having Shane's words on his head... and Lori's on his heart.

"people are capable of a lot of things... while motivated" she commented, with a slight mocking smirk. 

 

That comment brought Rick back to the real question he wanted her to ask... or that he wanted to ask her in return. Maybe she already knew, but.... just as the first time he met her.... he wanted her to know about it; he wanted to tell her. 

"bait-meat" his trail of thought stopped, and he looked back at Eleanor, and couldn't help but wide eye. A dark shadow possessed the girl's gaze, a face of pain... and hatred; almost made her look older. "bait-meat" she repeated.

"bait?"

"I never told you why I was alone.... in the first place, right?" she commented with a remorseful look, but Rick said nothing. Thanks to Hershel he knew that she was with her mother, but nothing else "the reason my mother didn't make it was because... only one of us could make it..."

 

_one of us wasn't gonna make it out; It had to be him_

 

"not everyone is good people like you or the rest of the group.... and back then... us, we were just bait-meat" she said in pain "there are things that pushed me to be on my own and forget.... but Randall, he is scared; just as scared as I was back then.... maybe even more; and that's why he is willing to do anything... to be anything, as long as he survives" turning to Rick, her gaze had still that dark tone on it  " he could betray us and scape... Or try to be useful so that we don't find an excuse to get rid of him. Still, part of me wants to believe in him and give him a second chance to prove himself.... That he won't become a burden"

"Eleanor...." he began, unsure of how to continue that phrase, but she cut him short again. 

"you don't have to listen to that..... it's just how I feel.... If you think he can't be trusted, I won't be against you" she ended, another awkward silence reigned in the barn, and Rick didn't know what to say "Don't expect me to ask about you and Shane.... it's obvious what happened" she commented looking up.

"Yeah.... Why am I not surpriced" Rick caressed his chin, with a little smirk that Eleanor could answer this time around. She handed back the rope, but Rick left it to the side, no longer interested in hanging Randall.

Both knowing that a second reunion was now close, they climbed down and walked together to the house; Lori waiting at the door in a nervous stance and a quick greeting to Eleanor that, having her head torn and speed in pieces thanks to everything that happened that day, didn't bother to frown or make any comment.

 

"Where is Carl?" Eleanor asked when she entered, not spotting the little man anywhere

"He's already upstairs, along with Beth and Jimmy" said Maggie and Eleanor nodded, she turned around and noticed that Lori and Rick were entering the house and the three of them to the living room, where already everybody else was waiting. Eleanor swallowed some saliva at the uncomfortable look everyone one was giving her, and Rick.... she turned to see Dale, that had a half hope, half defeated face and she sighed.  It took at least 5 more minutes before the silence could be broken. 

 

"So how do we do this? Just take a vote? Does it have to be unanimous?" asked T-dog. 

"Well, let's just see where everybody stands then we can talk through the options..... if people believe we should spare him, I want to know" Rick said, giving a glance to Eleanor, that was next to Glenn, she tried to ignore it, but couldn't.

"Well, I can tell you it's a small group" Dale answered "maybe just Eleanor, me and Glenn" he tempted, looking at both the youngest of their original group. Eleanor looked at Dale uncertain, maybe just as uncertain as Glenn did, but he decided to talk. 

"Look, I think you're pretty much right about everything, all the time, but this--"

"They've got you scared!" Dale raised his voice outraged

"we've lost too many people already" Glenn tried his best to justify himself "a-and if we take the chance and is not worth it....."

"Have they got you scared too!" he turned to Eleanor, who sighed. 

"Fine, what we want to do is rationalize this as far as we can..... and we can no longer leave him to his own, the possibility of him knowing where his camp is is high; that leave us only with leaving him here with us... But-"

"That's fine enough... Let him prove himself! He could be an asset!" Dale turned around, searching any faces that agreed with this new idea; but almost everyone averted his gaze, until it landed on the Greene family "How about you? Do you agree with this?"

A small pause preceded before Maggie stood up to talk "Couldn't we continue keeping him prisoner?"

"Asset or not he is just a mouth to feed.... in winter; it's not worth it" surprisingly enough, it was Daryl who spoke, an Hershel seemed to approve of his reasoning; even if he didn't interchange much with the young man.

"We could ration better....." Lori stepped in. And Dale smiled hopeful.

"But we're not letting him walk around on his own" cut Rick.

"Put him an escort?" Shane mocked "and who will be the one for the duty"

"I will" offered Dale "Me and Eleanor can--"

"I don't think any of us should be walking around with this guy" Shane began again "Look, say we let him join us...Maybe he's helpful,  maybe he's 'nice'... We let our guard down  and maybe he runs off, brings back his 30 men"

”So the answer is to kill him?" Dale looked around him again, silence reigned and Dale buffed in defeat, no one was talking of saying anything else, no one else caressed the idea of mercy, they still were too few. "Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him? He's been tortured.  He's gonna be executed... How are we any better than those people that we're so afraid of?" he wondered and buffed, more tired than angry "Don't you see? That if we do this, the people that we were... the world that we knew is dead?..... You all stay quiet and accept this.... but you won't kill him, you'll just hide your heads in your tents until it's over" Dale nodded a he shifted his rifle on his shoulder "I refuse to believe that we now live in a world that only the fittest  and the cowards can survive" He walked next to Daryl, to leave and stopped, craving his shoulder "you were right...This group is broken"

 

Another silence was made in the room after he left; Eleanor looked down angry and, before everyone else tried to leave to their tents, as just Dale said, she lifted her head.

"When you took me in your group.... I was so glad...." she began, and they all stood still again "even Hershel and his family, you are all.... good people; people that  I haven't seen in a long, long time" she turned to Lori, that looked surprised "and not everyone is like you out there, more than anyone, I'm aware of that....... but I also wish, that we don't stop being this good people, I don't what us to turn in what I've come to avoid" she turned to Rick, and he had a troubled face, she half smirked and looked down again "I wish we gave Randall the chance you gave me, but is just a wish..... instead I'll just ask for this to not become an habit" she turned lastly to Shane...... against all odds, he didn't retort her argument, not did Daryl, or anyone else. she got up and left after Dale.

 

That night, the execution never arrived. Before Rick could even arrive to the shed with Daryl and Shane. Instead he walked to the large oak where Eleanor was.... her relieved hug only meant Randall would not be killed that day.... or any other day. Daryl looked uncertain and Shane walked away angry, his gaze not leaving the shed at any moment. Eleanor thought that now it was over, and that things would be right again, but as she searched Dale to tell him the good news, another tragedy was about to occur.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from the dead..... literally.
> 
> This chapter takes the most important aspects of two episodes and anyone the central idea of the second season..... and I mean the transformation of the whole group to the new and brutal world they were going to face.... the slow transition that leave us to believe that the worst enemy of the man is the man itself.
> 
> I've been hell busy this week's and I've been making this chapter little piece by little piece on my free times..... thanking for the patience, as retribution the next and possibly the last chapter of these second part of the series.... "bait meat" will be coming out by the end of this week. 
> 
> See you soon.


	10. Bait Meat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Randall has been saved, thanks to Eleanor's words... how ever, tragedy occurred right after she thought everything was going to be alright.... what happened? and what will happen with Shane... who wanted him dead?

 

 

Eleanor walked outside of the large house that seemed now smaller and more crowded than ever.... it was not because it was small.... not at all, it was the quantity of people that now we're going to live inside that made it look so reduced. 

Winter was coming, and after the last incidents, Hershel suggested that everyone turned in to live inside, staying outside and  walking around the fields of the farm was not safe anymore.... or at least, that's how he saw it. Eleanor passed beside the three piles of rocks that rested underneath a large tree.... Otis, Maggie's mom..... Sophia. She wished there would be no more piles of rocks that winter, she wished things would be alright again.  

 

"Good morning Mr. Horvath" she greeted with a smile to the old man that stood beside the little shed "How are we today?"

"The cold is a reality now... we'll need to get something more.... fitting" he commented getting up, looking down at his flowered shirt and cotton pants. Eleanor smiled and took the rifle from his hands, and put it on her shoulders; while Dale hold onto the tray and bucket she was carrying. 

"How..... how is Jimmy" Dale ventured, and Eleanor's smile disappeared. She frowned in hurt and gave a defeated sigh.

"Hershel and me cut the surrounding flesh.... the fever has gone down but.... we are not sure how will it go..." She looked at Dale, who had the same look than her, but nodded in defeat.... she looked down again, feeling the weight of the silence on her back "It's not your fault--"

"he risked his life for someone who doesn't have much of it left" he gave a defeated smile "I wish he didn't..."

"He'll pull through it.... i know if it were you, that would be a lot harder... old man" teased Eleanor, and Dale chuckled, patting her shoulder, and going to the house. She let another sigh out and unlocked the door of the shed; she looked around until, on a corner, she could spot Randall... still tied down. she walked to a worn table and put the tray there, beside it, the bucket with clean water and a towel. She turned again tot he silent teenager, that followed her movements with detail. 

 

"Yesterday.... you wanted to kill me... and today you are bringing me food" he whispered confused. 

"you don't want it?"

"No..no-no that's n-not what i meant!" he said nervous "it's just...." he looked down scared "what will happen to me...."

"Well... first, we came to an agreement" she began as she kneeled in front of him, towel in hand.... at first he averted his face in fear, but then let her clean it "if you behave... we'll let you live-"

"I promise! I-i swear!" he blurted out, and winced at the harsh contact with the towel.... he calmed down again. 

"if you make merits, you'll stay..." she continued "don't try to escape, and I won't kill you...."

"I won't! i won't so please!!" he whimpered, and Eleanor sighed again..... she was doing that too often now. She stepped away and reached for the small tray with food, and pulled out a spoon, she filled it and put it in front of Randall who, reluctant at first, took the spoon full in a fast pace; and Eleanor refilled. 

"you are in test period now... you have still our trust to gain; but I hope that happens before winter comes, that way we can make this place more comfortable... or arrange the barn for you... wouldn't you like that" she commented, and Randall  nodded with a mouthful. She turned to reach for the glass of water, and Randall swallowed. 

"That kid.... you were talking about.... Jimmy, is he injured?" he asked shyly and Eleanor turned to him, he looked concerned and she wondered if it was legit

"yeah... he was taking watch" she lied, and gave Randall the water who, this time around, thanked. 

"I-I could take watch if you like... I-I used to take care of the walkers, i'm a good shot" he added with a twitching and doubting smile. Eleanor looked at him again serious, wondering if he was actually opening up to her and she smirked. 

"It will take a long, long while before you can touch a gun partner" she teased "I'll rather have you like....." but her smirk dropped, and Randall frowned confused, she got up and took the things on the tray to leave "never mind, you better rest for now...."

"sure... thanks.... again" said Randall confused as Eleanor nodded and closed the door fast, once outside she hurried to lock the door, close her eyes... and take a long breath before turning around; only to spot Shane on top of the hill, next to the Tucson.... he was too far away, but she could feel his hard stare on the shed, on Randall, on her; and her stomach turned with uneasiness.....

_bait_

 

 

She decisively walked to the house, Shane drove away on the pick-up with wooden logs to reinforce the electric antenna, and she let out her breath relieved.... she didn't want to have that conversation with him. She crossed Glenn on the way, who said hello with a small smile, and then Maggie... going after him. She then crossed Andrea, that gave her a neutral face, and T-dog.... Randal's next watch, that wasn't so pleased with what she caused.... and she looked down while entering the house. 

"How's he?" she looked up, and Lori was looking at her. Eleanor tried her best to make a smile

"He was starving, confused..... but he thanked me for it; he is not as nervous as before, but.... he's open to do anything as long as we let him stay"

"As long as he lives to escape" Daryl walked past the two women; and Lori sighed. 

"He seems to cooperate and that's what's important" she nodded with a reassuring smile and Eleanor answered it for a brief moment. "You happen to know where Shane went?" 

Eleanor looked at her and remembered her conversation with Rick yesterday. 

"He just went to reinforce the antenna... need something?" she tempted and Lori shifted, walking past her. 

"No just.... i need to talk to him" she ended walking out. Eleanor went to the kitchen to clean the dishes she used; neither Beth nor Patricia were around and she felt relieved..... she couldn't face them, as much as Dale couldn't himself. 

That night.... she was the one to found Dale; she talked to him, they hugged... he thanked; they smiled.  Maybe the first genuine smile she could come up with for a long time.... an act too difficult on those stressful days; it disappeared just as it came, as soon as a gunshot and a scream alerted her and Dale... It was Jimmy who, while searching, was attacked by an errant walker; and even though Daryl killed it before he bit Jim, he was scratched, and began showing the symptoms that morning.

knowing that Hershel was upstairs with Jimmy, and not ready to pretend he was going to be alright, she walked out of the house; there she wide eyed in surprise. At the bottom of the stairs was none other than Carl Grimes; a sudden relief struck Eleanor at the sight of his light blue eyes and she smiled..... without noticing.

"Hey"

"Hey" he answered fast and shifted. Not leaving his gaze, she walked to the top of the three steps and sat. After some hesitation, Carl sat beside her... and they looked at the horizon. "I'm sorry..."

"It's fine; I missed you best friend... I was starting to think I overdid it-"

"No... you didn't; and you didn't tell my patents" he added and Eleanor snickered, but Carl didn't follow. he sighed and Eleanor frowned confused. "If, um-- if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell them?"

"Okay... What happened?" she asked concerned; Carl for up and in front of her, reaching behind him. already imagining what it was she let out a sigh and extended her hand; but the gun he gave her was something she wasn't expecting. She looked up surprised, concerned, and amazed; a weird combination that only made Carl sigh.

"I took it from his motorcycle... I know... If he found out I took it, he'd kill me."

"why do you have it?" a frowning Eleanor asked distracted.

"Jimmy... its my fault he's like this" he began and Eleanor shock her head confused, but before she could even ask, Carl continued "I saw that walker. I was gonna shoot it. *sigh* It was stuck in the mud. I was-- I was throwing rocks at it and stuff. But I was gonna do it-- shoot it right in the head." Eleanor couldn't help but have a concerned yet understanding face. "And it-- it got free, came after me and... I ran away. If I had killed it---"

"Another walker would have appeared... T-dog found three more roaming from the south early in the morning" she commented, while playing with the handle "my point is... this is nowhere near your fault only; its true that what happened to Jimmy could be avoided, but that is something we must do together; you don't have to take the blame for everyone else" she looked up at him and then pat to her side, he sat after a moment "you know, the first time I shot a walker, it was really hard... I was so nervous, my hands were shaking; I missed.... a couple of times" she looked down with a sad resigned face; Carl gave her a serious gaze for a moment.

"was it.... someone you knew?" he tempted

"yeah..." she limited herself to say. And Carl understood she was not going to tell him who, he would ask some other time.

"And that kid.... Randall, was it?" he began and Eleanor turned to him "How's he doing?"

the slight taint of annoyment amused Eleanor, making her forget her sad thoughts.

"he's opening up you know... we might not be ready to let him out that shed but... he's..... nice" she teased and Carl gave her a look of complete disbelieve and she snickered, and.... smiling, she caressed his nape "so.... you want me too change this for one your size?" she asked, but Carl shock his head.

"just give it back to Daryl... I won't use one anymore..." he said in a decisive tone and Eleanor nodded. He got up and walked away, and Eleanor watched him with a concerned face; with a sigh, she got up.... and searched for Rick.

 

 

“So how is your protégé” teased Rick, looking down a map with Daryl, nervous Ellie hid the gun and Daryl excused himself to the bathroom…. Or something close enough. Elle raised an eyebrow to Rick who smirked while looking down.

“Lovely… he ate, he drank, he is willing to sell you his soul as long as he stays…”

“alive” he added and Eleanor frowned again.

“stays.” She said stubbornly, but leaving that argument, she got closer “I…  I need you to talk to Carl” she said, suddenly serious “He asked me not to tell you, but I feel you should know. He told me he was wandering in the woods the other day, found a walker stuck in the mud, but got scared and ran off” said Ellie, climbing the steps to the porch and siting on the railing, facing rick.

“And it was the same walker that attacked Jimmy yesterday?” asked Rick and sighed at Ellie’s confirmation.

“He’s blaming himself for it… and I think he should have a father-son talk about it” said Ellie

“yeah… We need to get the vehicles to the barn by tonight, secure the fences and figure out if we move Randall to the barn or not; I’ll talk to him once we finish” said rick getting the map

“No” said Ellie suddenly as Rick looked at her “Now, it needs to be done now… some minutes; your son is more important”

“It can wait” Rick countered, a little annoyed. Eleanor didn’t know, but his negligent attitude towards his family was a soft spot that he discussed with Shane a couple of times.

“Carl is unstable” she began with a concerned tone, then… reached behind her and pulled out Daryl’s gun, and put it next to Rick “He says he won’t touch a gun ever again, and to be honest, we both know that he is not going far with that mentality” said Ellie frowning serious, a gaze Rick answered “He needs support, he needs security…. He needs you, his dad….. A dad’s word is important at that age… at least it was really important to me” Rick remained silent while taking the gun and looking at it, then at Eleanor, she gave him a small smirk and pat his forearm “Please do that cowboy... at least for my peace of mind; I’m checking on Randall, it was T-dog’s shift and I’m restless….. it’s to my impression he thinks Randall should be dead”

“Well.... He should have said that when I asked” he ended smirking, Eleanor’s smile grew larger. “See you on a while” He said stepping away.

Triumphant of her accomplishment, she walked back to the shed, only to have her triumphant smirk washed away by complete panic.

 

 

"T-dog! What the hell is this?!" She screamed, her voice reaching a higher pitch than normal.

"He escaped! that son of a bitch!" he countered, Eleanor entered the opened shed, quite useless since she knew no one was inside. "I-I left for a moment and left Shane in my place and he attacked him!"

".... wait.... Shane was here?" her voice trembled for a moment, and a dark thought covered her mind; but she shock her head and turned to T-dog. "We have to find him, he could be injured..." but she stopped when they both heard a rustling and a drowned grunt. Eleanor got her blade out and walked around the shed.... expecting to find Randall and escape, instead, she found a hurt Shane, stumbling, wiping a trail of blood that came from his head. "Shane!! Shane where is Randall?... what happened!"

"what does it look like? the bitch attacked me and ran" he scoffed to the side "took my gun... we have to go after him"

"But.... but how I-" Eleanor was confused, she couldn't understand, the door was locked from the outside, she was sure she locked it, did she made a mistake? "That can't be it was--"

"There is no time, we have to track him before we loose him! come with me" he grabbed Eleanor by the arm and pulled her, but she opposed resistance and turned to T-dog. 

"Tell Rick and Daryl" began Eleanor and T-dog nodded. 

"Wait... not yet" they both stopped to look at Shane "if we make a fuss about this, you and Rick will be in trouble...."

"What?" she frowned 

"Lets track him, if we don't return in an hour, tell Rick... say we find him before and take care of the problem, we don't have to alarm everyone else" he reasoned. Eleanor's confused face turned into a concerned and dark one. She looked down and frowned, sneered.

"fine.... fine" she said walking past Shane, who gave a last look to T-dog before going with her. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rick walked into the barn and looked up. He climbed the stairs, finding a small curled up silhouette, using a pair of binoculars to look into the distance. Rick tried to imagine where was Carl looking, but only woods and a large yellow field could be seen from that side. 

“Mom said you would be here” he commented touching his shoulder, Carl put the tool down and looked at his father, then back at the horizon. 

“I got tired of helping in the house and figures i could be out scouting.... Ellie said there were more walkers roaming” he said and a sigh escaped his mouth, looking down in guilt. Rick sat beside him and too a moment, before pulling Daryl's gun out and offering it back to Carl. He looked at it and back at his dad with an expectant face. 

"Take it" but Carl looked at him, at the gun and back at him, making to move to take it "you  know that what happened to Jimmy wasn’t your fault” he began

“but... he's infected... he'll die dad” said Carl serious, saying out loud what nobody else dared to say. 

“we still don't know that" tried to battle Rick, but he didn't sound as convincing, not even to himself. "getting infected, bit... dying, that’s been going on a lot lately.... but that’s why I need you, Carl… no more kids stuff, I wish you could have a childhood like I did, but that's not going to happen. Everything is different now and people are going to die..... I will, mom too.... And there is no way you are going to be ready. I try to be but I can’t. The best we can do now is avoid it as long as we can, and keep one step ahead “ he said as Carl looked into the distance “I wish I had something better to say, something more profound… my father was good like that, but I’m tired son, please take it” he said offering the gun again; this time Carl took it and Rick got an arm over his shoulders.

“you think he'll be cured?.... with Hershel and Eleanor's help?” said Carl 

“Maybe....” he whispered, looked back a the horizon, letting out a sigh "it's getting late, and we'll use the barn to guard the vehicles, you should get down while you can..... maybe you can go with Eleanor for a while" he suggested and Carl frowned

"wasn't she taking care of Randall" he asked

"T-dog is taking watch for her now... so she must be really bored" he ended, with a little smirk.

 

They both got up and Rick went downstairs first, looking at the horizon, waiting for his son to go down. It was just a couple of hours before sunset, and they had to use all possible sunlight they could.... while getting out, He let Carl search for Eleanor on the house while he payed a visit to T-dog and Randall... he didn't visit the boy since he arrived, and the only ones taking serious care of him were Dale and Eleanor. He wondered if the young woman was actually again taking care of the boy and if it was the case, he would like to tell her that Carl was fine again... but his rested face turned into concern when he fund a cursing and restless T-dog.

 

"T-dog, what happened? Is everything alright" but the black man shock his had nervous

"I can't wait anymore man.... I-" he said nervous "Randall escaped, I don't know how, but he got out.... and Eleanor and Shane went after him."

"What!?" an angry whisper, almost like a feral sneer, escaped Rick's mouth, he came closer to T-dog "when did this happen"

".... at least an hour ago? Sh-Shane said that we should wait to not panic everyone..... but they aren't coming back" 

Then.... Rick's stomach sank, a sudden feel of dread pulling it in all directions...... his mind was going a mile per hour, it didn't made sense..... Shane was not like that.... it was almost as if...

"Get Daryl and Glenn... catch up to us in the woods... now" he sneered and T.dog nodded, running to the house. Meanwhile, Rick ran into the woods, without a real plan..... once he realized he didn't know where to go, he cursed.... he needed Daryl to track them down. He was about to return to the shed, when a something alerted him.....

Grunts.... rustling....

He turned round and ran over to the source, there, he found Shane, his face was covered in blood.... his breathing was elaborate.

"Shane... Shane what the fuck happened!? Where's Eleanor?" he asked apprehensive, Shane looked up, and touched his  shoulder, shaking his head... Rick's heart was beating faster "Tell me!?" he screamed

"he took her.... with him .... he " he began

"what?! he what?!" it was more of  a cursed scream than a question, nevertheless, Shane repeated....

 

"He took her as hostage"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so evil....
> 
> But i thought it was a good moment to finish the chapter and rise up the tension! I realized that having everything into one monumental chapter was going to be a little difficult so i split it.... how ever, you won't wait long for the next one.... it's half done already ;)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and i hope you liked it.


	11. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Randall has escaped and has taken Eleanor as hostage to ensure his escape. How ever.... How much of that is true?  
> Rick will not rest until he finds the truth.

 

"No! My daughter is not going out there to risk her life like that!" the scared, yet fierce voice of a woman could be heard among the group of men that gathered around her and her daughter.... the first one, could be on her fifties or late forties, the second one.... no more than 22. 

"we need more manpower, the roamers are gathering around camp and we can't take them all"

"She's but a child!"

"She knows how to use a gun... that makes her manpower" the jerk lured into her with a menacing stare "you and your daughter better start cooperating.... or you want to keep you share in... other ways" his lascivious gaze traveled from her to the young woman; but a slap turned his face back to the older woman.... his sly smile turned into a frown, he was showing his teeth in anger. 

"my daughter hunts for you every.single.day.  she does enough!?"

"I'll decide when she does enough!?" he screamed in hate

"Mom... mom" The young woman stepped in and turned to her mother "I can do it.... it's going to be alright.... it's the same as hunting right?" she said in an optimist tone, trying to ease up the tension, she turned  around to face the man, with a decisive tone "I can take it....I'll do it"

"That's more like it.... you start tomorrow.... bait meat"

 

**************

 

Eleanor's eyes opened, and she grimaced in pain.... having a terrible headache.... the orange rays of the sunset that shone right into her eyes, thought weak, were not helping at all. She turned her head to the side, and she felt a tugging sensation on her mouth, she was reaching to rip off what ever it was, but her hands didn't move. She wide eyed and squirmed around forcefully, her screams and panicked whimpers were covered by a cloth on her mouth. She looked up still fast breathing, resting her face on the large tree she was tied to.

She was finally remembering; and if she hand't her mouth covered, she could be cursing her head to oblivion. 

Nervous, having her breathing still elaborate, she looked around. Her guns and blades were gone, of course they were gone. And she was lost in the woods, god knows where exactly, and she sighed. Eleanor closed her eyes, and tried to calm herself down...... she hated being tied, it brought back unwanted memories. She glared at the fast darkening sky and then to the lonely woods surrounding her. 

 

'I'm fucking getting you for this Shane'

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"But it can't be...." Said Hershel, opening and closing the barn "it was locked from the outside.... Eleanor locked it... are you sure she did. 

"I saw it.... it was locked" said Tog "I-I don't know man, maybe he got through the roof"

"There's a window he could get through" suggested Andrea, but Hershel dismissed the idea.

"No... , with that leg... It would be a miracle if he's running"

"Maybe he's faking it; maybe he was fine and he just pretended to limp" said Maggie, even accusatory, her tone was reluctant and worried.

"I saw him this morning... Eleanor gave him good and water.... Why would he run away?" Retorted Dale.

"Talking here ain't gonna do nothing... Pizza boy... Get movin" said Daryl, while he interned himself in the woods.

"I knew it... We should have never let him stay" did T-dog... The rest walked to the house, if Randall was armed and almost all men were gone... They were unprotected.

 

Lori walked to the house nervous... she didn't expect any of this happening, she trusted Eleanor was right this time around... She was hopeful that the act of mercy the young woman initiated was a good example for her son; she feared that Shane and Rick's eagerness to kill him would just harden him even further, and she almost resented to be on his husband's side when she wanted to have a more pacifist solution..... but this happened. 

"Mom?" she heard to her right and almost jumped, Carl stood on the frame of the corridor, and she mentally cursed, how was he able to sneak up on people when they really didn't want to answer questions "Have you seen Ellie... i thought she was in the house" Lori could only swallow nervously and didn't know what to say, at that moment, more people entered the house; Andrea, Maggie, T-dog and Hershel; she cursed mentally again, as she noticed Carl picked on their restless demeanor and frowned, he turned again to his mother "did something happen?"

"yeah.... something like that, your father and Eleanor went to take care of it... so we should stay inside" she countered, hoping he wouldn't ask further, it's not like he knew that much about Randall in the first place.  "why don't you go upstairs and rest a little while before we make dinner" she suggested; not taking too much time to think about it, he turned around and turned to the corridor, Lori could feel herself breathing again, and she passed a hand through her hair and forehead; again...  Eleanor, it was always Eleanor, why couldn't she get out of trouble for once in her life. 

 

The door opened to reveal Dale, entering the house, Lori was grateful Carl didn't see him..... he managed to unsettle her even further. 

"Is everyone inside?" he asked and Lori nodded, he looked down and then to Lori; then, she frowned in confusion, when Dale gave her his rifle. 

"Dale why are you giving me this?" 

"I'm taking my personal gun, I'm going to look for Eleanor" he said with decision "It is better if you have this to stand watch..... and--" 

"Dale, you can't go out there, we need you around here, Daryl and Glenn went and without them... if something happens only T-dog would be around to--"

"They are searching for something they will never find!" Dale cut her, exasperated "This, this is not right! Randall didn't run away, he could barely stand!"

"You heard Maggie, he could have been faking it" she reasoned

"Now? until this morning he thought he was going to die.... if he had been faking it, he would have escaped sooner..... no" he shock his head in disbelieve "I've got to do something, even if i'm the only one to see it"

"Dale, you are making no sense, what are you talking about"

"It's a lie...... all of it" he whispered, and Lori couldn't help but wide eye "Shane is lying.... a-and I fear- no, I know he did it.... he killed Randall, and maybe he is going to kill Eleanor..."

"stop! just... stop" said Lori angry "you can't go around blaming people like that! he might have done certain things that don't look right to you or Eleanor or everyone else, but he is not a coldblooded murderer"

""I don't know what he is, but what i know is that... that... child, has been the only one standing up against him;  with the barn and with Randall, and I'll never forget how he treated her that day.... or how has he been looking at her ever since" his lips trembled, and Lori couldn't take in the emotion and alarm he was pouring on his words "so I'm going..... and pray to god he hasn't done an insanity yet"

 

Dale walked out the door again, and Lori stood there, rifle in hand.... completely disoriented.... She denied to believe Shane would do something like that, she denied to believe Shane would change like that....

From the bottom of the stairs, in a dark corner,  Light blue eyes looked down in confusion, fear and also denial.... but he wasn't disoriented... and he needed the truth. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"This is pointless...Give me a light"

Glenn reached to his right and gave Daryl a light, as expected from autumn, the unset lasted just as long, and now it was night.... pitch black. Daryl pointed the flashlight to the ground and sighed frustrated, returning  a few steps; cursing, Glenn only followed behind him. 

"we are returning?" he asked

"Lost the track for  a moment there..." Daryl commented until he stopped, Glenn looked down and noticed that some dry leafs were moved around, and assumed it was their trail "There's two sets of tracks right here.... Shane must've followed him a lot longer than he said" he commented "I don't see Elle's tracks anywhere" he frowned, and Glenn did too. 

"I thought he was with her, they got lost the second time they came searching?"

"We are in the dark and we found it" that comment left Glenn even more on edge, and suddenly felt something was not right; Daryl pointed then to a tree and Glenn noticed there was a red mark on it "There's fresh blood on this tree.... There's more tracks; Looks like they're walking in tandem.... Yeah, there was a little dust up right here" Daryl pointed down to some kind of sweeps on the dirt

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, something went down" Daryl walked further in the trail and noticed a black piece of cloth, and picked it.... they both could recognize it as the blindfold Randall was having. His mind speeding up, Glenn wanted to conclude that he fought with Shane and escaped, but.... why taking the blindfold with him up to that point... why did he felt that they were tracking backwards when it was clearly not like it

"This is getting weird" he concluded uneasy, but the conversation ended when they heard some rustlings on the far end. They both hid behind some trees and with a whistle, Daryl threw him the flashlight. Being the one that had to confront him first, Glenn took a deep breath before turning around to the walking body he assumed was Randall, but when he lifted the flashlight.... what he found was something far from what he expected. 

His first thought was 'walker' and the creature got on top of him, Daryl tried to shoot it, but missed and the walker drew his attention to him, that moment, Glenn took the chance to strike him down.... Daryl complimented him briefly, and with he panic moment gone.... they had a better look at it..... it was Randall. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Eleanor huffed tired and grimaced in pain; she should have known better.... Shane was a cop once, of course he would know how to tie up somebody... And to use Randall's ropes....

She shock her head, trying to forget about the previous hours. She was still denying what happened; wanted to believe Shane just wanted to give her a fright and once he had what he wanted he would return and free her making her promise she would only do as he says..... And once she is free she would punch him in the face, and he would snap her neck just as he said he did with...

Her breathing quickened again and she pulled on the ropes, despite the pain..... It was getting cold, it got dark quite fast, and she could no longer see if someone was coming for her, or not. A dark thought crept on her mind. What he wanted.... what was it? She had an idea; a monstrous idea of what it was, and she even preferred to think that Shane would miraculously give into reason than going as far as her mind was going; after all, he was the only one who knew where she was, no one was coming for her.... no one would dare to come out in the dark, for her.... she was just...

 

_Bait meat_

 

She sniffed, and relaxed her body; she gave a tired sigh to the ground.... maybe Shane was already back, giving an elaborate explanation of how she died... or no explanation at all. Maybe Rick would be mad and would want to search for her, but it would be useless, Shane would know how to guide them away from her. Maybe Dale would be mad, maybe Lori too.... maybe Carl would cry. 

She glared at the front.... and she vended her knees and tried to get up,  she whimpered in pain but pushed further up.... until her feet gave in and she slid back down the tree, suppressing a scream of pain the best she could... huffing, frowning in front of her. She tempted to try again, but felt completely petrified; grunting and rustling could be heard, and she closed her eyes in desperation. She remained still, praying that the thing would just walk by, but the sound was only growing stronger in her ears; then, realization stroke her and she panicked.... her wrists were most probably injured, and the walker was smelling the blood on them... it appeared on her sight, and her breathing quickened against her will; what could she do against it? she was going to get bit....

Eleanor jumped and gasped when a gunshot pierced into the night and the walker fell in front of her.... a whole on his right temple; she turned to the direction of the sound, she shock her head and her eyes watered.... but she could hear her own nervous laugh under the cloth on her mouth. 

 

From the other side, the gun trembled sightly on his hands. Carl huffed, his heart was beating full force. His face was a mix of confusion and horror, he let the firearm fall into the ground and ran over to the large tree; pulling out his small blade, he hurried to cut the ropes that were around her wrists. Eleanor tried to look behind and around her, trying to spot any more errant walkers, but as soon as she felt her hands free, she pulled down the gag and turned around the tree, pulling Carl into her arms.... she could still feel his elaborate breathing, and reached to caress his nape.

"It's alright..... it's good now..... thank you best friend... thank you"  she whispered while he buried his face on her, taking a long trembling breath. She let go after and minute and Carl lifted his relieved face, but at the sight of her, he frowned. 

"Where's Randall? He did this... didn't he?" 

But before Eleanor could bring herself to answer, another gunshot pierced into the night.... and they both searched and alerted face.... before Carl sprinted out running.

"wait! Carl wait!?" she ran after him. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rick walked in front of Shane in a slow move, maybe like a sentenced man going to the scaffold.... and he hated how accurate that turned out to be. He was naive enough to believe Shane's words, and even follow his directions... he was so eager to find Eleanor, he was even searching Randall with the complete intention on killing him... but the hours passed, the cold wind of the night maybe cooled of his mind, refreshed his memory; reminded him that he was walking next to the man that killed Otis, let him die, as Eleanor said herself.... left him as bait. Then, almost instantly, his conversation with her came to his head... bait meat; a sudden feel of rage came over him and he tried to remain calm... he couldn't have.... could he. Rick stopped, and looked back and Shane, who was just behind him. 

 

"So this is where you plan to do it?" Shane stopped behind him, and Rick turned around. 

"It's a good place as any" Rick looked down and even he wasn't sure why, but kept walking, they reached a clearing on the hill... almost to the limits of Hershel's lands, and Rick turned around again.

"Why?.... Why now?" Shane's face was as cold as stone "I thought we worked this all out-" a laugh cut his words, it was Shane who was laughing. 

"We tried to kill each other, man. What you think? We was just gonna forget about it?.... We gonna ride off into the sunset together?" 

"So you're gonna kill me? .... so that you do what you want, and have what I have?! my family?!....... no" Rick shock his head in disbelieve "I know you......You won't be able to live with this--"

"What you know about what I can live with!? You got no idea what I can live with, what I live with!" cut Shane, he walked up tot he clearing and Rick backed away, his hand resting on his gun, even if he did back away.... Shane was close, far too close now.

"You really believe if you walk back onto that farm alone.... without us...  You really believe they're gonna buy whatever bullshit story you cook up?"

"But It ain't no story, I'll not need one.... the only one that would doubt me is already gone-" a punch on his jawline stopped his ranting. Shane stepped back and touched his mouth, and sneered with a smirk. From the other side, Rick huffed.... completely out of himself; he had no right, he had no shame. Rick pulled out his gun in a fit of rage and Shane, instead of drawing back, snickered to Rick opening his arms.

"I know you can't do it Rick!?" he launched at him, and reached for the gun. They both tried to fight for it, and the piercing sound of a gunshot echoed through the air..... they both stopped.... but it was a lost bullet.

 

....a lost bullet. 

 

A grunt and some gags were the next sound into the night, the first thing that fell to the ground was Rick's python.... while Shane looked at him, and down at his chest in disbelieve, his hands were soaked on his own blood the moment the large blade came out of his torso... he scoffed out blood... it was a pierced lung. 

"this is you! not me!?" Rick screamed in pain and anger; Shane grabbed onto Rick's shoulders a he felt to the ground.... taking his last breath, chocking in silence, the life coming out of his body, and Rick kneeled beside him "why!? why did you do this!?....... to us! to me!?" he screamed between cries "you did this on yourself!"

He kneeled and looked down at now the moveless body of who was..... until now, his best friend, his work partner....his confident. He trusted him, he always did..... he wanted to take it back, he had to be stopped... as much as he was sorry... he was too dangerous.... mad, Rick thought he was going mad. 

 

"dad?"

"Dale!.... Dale, please...." Eleanor ran beside Carl and kneeled over a figure that Rick couldn't see due to the tall grass. 

 He stood up, disoriented, he signaled at Eleanor and shock his head in desperation.... he didn't kill her, but he said he did. He put a hand over his mouth, the lost bullet; he never heard Dale, why didn't he say anything? Did he just arrive?..... He turned to look at his son, and he was even more confused.... he shouldn't be there, this wasn't what he was seeing.... how much did he see... a small desperate whimper from Eleanor brought him back to reality and,  lifting his arm to reach for him, he began walking to them. 

"Carl?..... you.. you should be back with mom" he began, he could see his small child looking back and forth, from Eleanor and Dale to him.... he felt so guilty.... he didn't know what to say.... how to explain it. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"What did you do.... why are you here.... Dale" she whispered, he had a gunshot over his chest, right in his shoulders. he was loosing more blood than she would desire and she prayed it didn't bust any important vessel. She tried to reap her hoodie the best she could and use it as compress... and in between her bloodied hands, Dale's aged one came to rest, she looked up to him and she let out a whimper in desperation when she noticed the old man was calmly smiling at her. 

A clicking sound alerted Eleanor and she lifted her face, she wide eyed at the horrible sight. Carl raised his gun and Rick froze in place, at first... Eleanor thought that he was pointing it to him, but then she noticed something stirring on the back..... she let out a sight imagining he managed somehow to survive.... but then, alarmed she realized they were all in danger. 

"Carl.... put the gun down... it's- it's not what it seems" said Rick, clearly overwhelmed, but the little man didn't flinch. 

"Rick!" said Eleanor and, the same moment Rick turned to look at her, Carl fired. The bullet pierced a walker Shane that was just taking his steps over to Rick, this one turned around to see Shane, now for ever unmoving.

"Rick we need to get Dale back as soon as possible, he's loosing blood" urged Eleanor, nodding and regaining control.... Rick walked over to them, he greeted his son with a pat and walked over to Eleanor, asking if she was alright.

"What happened to Shane? Where is the walker that bit him?" asked Carl

"Maybe it was the one who attacked me.... we can talk about this later" she ended, giving a little look at Rick, before lifting a half conscious Dale on their shoulders. Not aware of the shadows lurking from the trees, right behind them.

 

IT was reaching the forest that they noticed the biggest herd of walkers walking right behind them. They were coming in all directions, and by the time they reached the barn and the house from the woods.... soon enough, they'll be surrounded.

"What do we do, we have to tell the others" said Carl "Can we go around it?"

"No.. there is too many of them" Rick whispered back, and turned to look at Eleanor, they had Dale resting up against a tree, he came back to consciousness, but his breathing was elaborate. he grimaced frustrated as he kneeled beside Eleanor. "Dale there is still a few more steps to go... Carl and me will make a distraction so that you and Eleanor can reach the house" 

Eleanor nodded and was ready to lift him, but he resisted

"Dale we need to keep moving"

"You know... that's not happening" he breathed, and Eleanor shock her head, she looked back at Rick and Carl, that shifted nervous 

"Go.... I'll take him...." Carl was about to protest, not ready to leave Eleanor and Dale to their own "You have to put Carl save Rick!" Eleanor said in a more serious and decisive tone. after some seconds Rick nodded and grabbed Carl by the hand. He fought and ran over Eleanor 

"I'll stay with you" 

"You mother must be dead worried... and Rick has to help everyone escape" she began and Carl shock his head again "Dale and me.... we'll take another route... don't worry, I promise we'll make it..... you've got to trust me, you trust me... right" she smiled and Carl hid his face under his hat, but after a moment he nodded. Eleanor gave him a quick hug before urging him to go to Rick that took his hand and began running in between the walkers.

 

 

Some meters, that's how much they advanced. She could feel now the possible walkers that were surrounding them; she just saw Carl and Rick disappear in between the shadows of the barn and she could hear some gunshots  coming from the house. It was when she saw the green Tucson in the distance, giving turns, that she felt a tugging sensation and her knees hit hard on the ground... she turned to a tired and hurting Dale. She helped him to seat for a moment beside a tree..... she was about to give him words of courage, when she felt  something cold on her hands, she looked down.... Dale rested on her hands her pair of blades, she gave a tired smile and proceeded to put them on.... wondering why he didn't say anything earlier, of why she didn't notice..... When she reached down to lift him, her small smile disappeared, Dale offered his hand gun, and she tried her best to not show her frustration.... or resignation. 

"You'll never have the chance to survive with me... at least like this, i can help you" began Dale, making a grimace in pain

"I still don't know how this makes me different from Shane" a little tear scaped her face and a trembling hand made it's way to her face, she caressed it.... while it's thumb cleaned the tear away

"You are doing it out of mercy.... a-and not s-self preservation" he countered and Eleanor wanted to restrain a smile, but failed "Don't ever change child.... don't let this world change who you really are.... promise me that"

"I promise...." she whimpered, letting go of the old hand, getting up and taking a few steps away.... the grunting were coming close, and she lifted the gun facing the old man, that grabbed his bloodied shoulder with difficulty. He closed his eyes and looked up, but that calm attitude only made her doubt.

She let her all the air of her lungs escape, before the echo of that single gunshot was lost among the many others. She stepped back, letting the gun fall, hiding her crying.... angry and desperate face on her hands, kneeling to make herself as small as possible.... while she cried she was sorry over and over.... she had Dale's face and memories printed on her mind, she had her mothers agonizing request to end her life echoing in her head again... how could she forget. It was the sudden fall of a walker next to her that brought her back to reality, that reminded her why was she there, and why she fired. Her fear made her take the gun and jump back, run away as fast as she could... searching for the barn. 

 

The strong sound of a car engine alerted her and she cleaned her teary face the best she could. 

"you 'kay?" Daryl aid, stopping the motorcycle beside her, she hurried to his side and mounted "good timing to join the fun"

"I need to find Carl and Rick, they went to the barn.... and a vehicle to take them" she said and Daryl signaled with his head to the tree 

"That one has a key if you can reach it" he was talking about the RV, and Daryl stopped the motorcycle close enough without running into any undesired walker that roamed around there. 

"We have to hit the highway again.... go back to everyone and tell them the same, grab a car and we'll meet all there" she said and Daryl bit his lip nodding with a grunt, and going away. More assured and focused, Eleanor made her way to the large car and got on it, just as she could see the barn catching on fire; she couldn't help but smile at the geniality and she accelerated to get there, imagining Rick and Carl would want to escape from the roof. She let out a relived huff when she could see two silhouettes coming from the window on the second floor, she made some small light signals and accelerated full force, hitting all the walkers making a path, and hoped she could ride away once Carl and Rick were inside, but the walkers were too many, and they were banging on the doors and windows.... feeling vulnerable, Eleanor reached the trap door on the roof and climbed through it just as  the walkers were making their way inside the large car.... from the other side, a small pair of arms met her and Rick helped her to get up before they jumped down from the back and made their way to the house. 

 

"Wait... where's everyone... where's mom" asked Carl confused, only Hershel remained, firing all the walkers he could, even if he was soon going to be overpowered. Eleanor looked around and noticed that only the red pick-up remained, and assumed that Daryl could well deliver the message to everyone... and they were on their way to the highway.

"They must have left, i told them the meeting point was on the highway" she answered fast, and Rick nodded, urging Hershel to move. Protesting, Carl obeyed and they four drove away in the red and last car, while Hershel looked back with pain and regret to what had been his home since he could remember..... being taken over by  flames and dead bodies... 

 

 

They arrived at the highway in the early morning.... the supplies they left for Sophia were still there, and the first ones to arrive were Rick and Eleanor. At first.... a sudden uneasiness stroke her... thinking that only they could make it, but minutes later, Daryl appeared with Carol in his motorcycle.... Then Glenn and Maggie on the Tucson, to Hershel's relief, and finally T-dog, Lori and Beth on the blue pick-up. Eleanor gave a small smile to her friends, and watched from a distance how the Grimes family greeted each other in happiness, before being pulled inside by them; she let herself have that moment of happiness, before sorrow.... sorrow for Dale, for Patricia that died being attacked by a transformed Jimmy, for Andrea that got lost in between the heard and they all assumed she was dead. She allowed herself to feel for the losses they suffered, and for the comfort that, even if they were few, they still had each other... she allowed herself that before the bitterness; the bitterness that came in the night, when they had nothing to eat or drink, when they camped in the cold night and when confessions were made.... confessions about the CDC, and the realization they were all infected, and it was just the simple matter of dying that would awake the virus in every single one of them..... confessions about Shane, and how he pushed Rick to kill him, how he actually planned Eleanor to die by the hands of a walker....... She swallowed that bitterness before came the resolution, Rick's resolution and command.... when he finally stepped ahead, ending democracy, ending disorder.... and taking leadership. 

That morning, there have been happiness and sorrow; and that night, there had been confessions, bitterness and resolution. But at the end of the day, beside that dying fire, there had been something new, that was created. Among those who became strangers, among those who survived, a word of trust was created..... they were now a unity, they had each other... they had truth, they had strength.... and they would search for a future.  

 

Trust

 

 

-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end
> 
> The end of book two. Not much to say, i got depressed at the end of this chapter....  
> I hope you liked it, and see you on the next book.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hey! second book! second season!
> 
> This is an ongoing series that follows up the story line of the TV series, and introduces a new character along the line. So I recommend you to read the first book, if not you might get lost here and there...
> 
> Please enjoy


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